Thoughts on the effects of spending too much time alone

[CasanovaFrankenstein]

I just came across this site recently, www.succeedsocially.com and the guy writing this stuff sounds so much like me it's creepy. Always being a "good boy", following the rules all his life, seeing social activities just for their own sake as being frivilous and shallow. Seeing people who have a lot of people in their social circle as being shallow (but probably just a justification for not being like them which is what I've always really wanted). Another big one is spending a lot of time alone, I mean A LOT of time alone. But here's something he wrote that I'm scratching my head about, on how spending too much time alone can cause a person to seem "weird" when he does find himself in social situations:

...weirdness tends to be self-reinforcing. It will isolate you through a combination of your own preferences and your not being a good fit with other people. Once you're cut off from the rest of the world, you can't help but grow off in your own strange little directions, free from the social feedback and guidelines that keep other people's behavior from becoming inappropriate. That's probably the biggest factor in weirdness. You're living in your own little world and everything about you is just a bit 'off' compared to most people.

Here's my problem: does this go against one of the most fundamental ideas I've seen here, of being your own person, not being concerned with social norms or with how people view you? You know, how you're supposed to be independent from needing other people to tell you how to think talk or act? Is someone who modifies their behavior because that's how "normal" people are, isn't that being phony?

 

[Da Realist]

There's a fine line between being phony and knowing what clothes to wear to different occasions if you catch my drift. When you ineract with people, you see how things affect them and what they react to. The key to being social is to know your surroundings and how to act according to them without losing your sense of self.

 

[DJ Barcardi]

Spending too much time alone causes you to get lost in your own imaginary world like this guys:
http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=7730248361

 

[FairShake]

If you're like me and truly a weirdo then you KNOW you have to dial it back a bit if you don't want to be lonely.

It might be a residual of being alone when I was younger or just who I am but I am just "off." I think differently than most people, act differently, just am totally different. Different interests, tastes, etc.

If I was the kinda person who didn't mind being alone alot I could probably be my own man alot more often. But as it is, I get lonely and need some friends and some female companionship. So I spent a couple years studying other guys (a no homo here would suffice among MOST guys...see how I've studied) and how they relate to eachother and what they talk about. And I practiced over and over again until I could play that role. It made life more fun and, ultimately, easier. Being the weirdo is difficult to say the least.

And you know what...there are some other weirdos out there who are playing the same game. And when you find them it's a great feeling coming out of your shell and letting them know that you know.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I'm not weird. Everybody else is weird. I mean, how could you sit in front of a TV and watch it for more than 10 minutes? Yet so many people do that. That's weird. I'm a goer and doer most of the time, not a sitter and watcher. Only 90,000 people go through what I go through on a weekly basis. Everybody outside of that, if I'm weird to them, then that's not my problem, because I'm not weird to that core 90,000. I'm one of them.

 

[Kevin Feng]

Hey Buddy,

I can already tell you're beating yourself up. I can see that you're having inner conflicts and you're not sure how to proceed.

Here's the deal with pick up and the pick up community. You're going to come across a LOT of material and a lot of it will even be contradicting. For example David Deangelo says don't smile and be badass while Mystery says smile no matter what.

Different techniques work for different people, just as different people have different tastes, don't listen to much on one source.

The best way to learn game is to figure out what works for YOU and not other people.

You don't need to overanalyze pick up, but you do need to follow a structure. In my pick up years, I've found the ABC's of Attraction method to be the best for my personality because it's very plug and play and doesn't require canned material.

It's been a year since I've been off the VH1 show and I can definitely say my life is much better in the women category. Thanks to Mystery/Matador and Asian Playboy.

Feel free to shoot me a pm and I can at least point you in the right direction.

-Kevin