Thoughts on email

[drmeathead]

the backstory is on this email this girl who is bartender and i have been sending emails back and forth and she invited me out to meet her. it went well each time. i didnt stay well. didnt over tip. brought friends who thought it went well and was beyond tips for biz. she wants me to go to this bar thing tuesday night this past saturday so i sent this email this morning.






good seeing you this weekend..anyway i need directions and a time for tuesday to archies, archers? also i am sitting here in my office and i am looking at the call schedule. i have call for presby hospital on tuesday night. it is no big deal as i try not to sit in that much on call nights so i dont miss my pager going off. the deal is no drinking for me and no promises that i will show up or i can even stay for long if i do. if the idiot box (my pager) goes off i may have to go. hopefully it wont and ill get a chance to hang out...

 

[jophil28]

the backstory is on this email this girl who is bartender and i have been sending emails back and forth and she invited me out to meet her. it went well each time. i didnt stay well. didnt over tip. brought friends who thought it went well and was beyond tips for biz. she wants me to go to this bar thing tuesday night this past saturday so i sent this email this morning.






good seeing you this weekend..anyway i need directions and a time for tuesday to archies, archers? also i am sitting here in my office and i am looking at the call schedule. i have call for presby hospital on tuesday night. it is no big deal as i try not to sit in that much on call nights so i dont miss my pager going off. the deal is no drinking for me and no promises that i will show up or i can even stay for long if i do. if the idiot box (my pager) goes off i may have to go. hopefully it wont and ill get a chance to hang out...

It is barely "OK" - where is your self promotion ? Nada .
It is a tad drab and negative because it does not create any positive "feelings" in the recipient or stimulate her IL ..

Introduce some C&F and negs in your emails. You do not have the opportunity to kino her or do the face to face 'game' so use your emails to make her laugh .

-

 

[Desdinova]

Wow, that was really bland. I felt like I was reading a textbook.

I hope this isn't the way you communicate in real life. If it is, you need to start being more happy or ecstatic about your subjects. Purposely make them interesting. Reflect on something interesting or exciting that happened with the two of you. Something that you teased her about. "You're not still putting your vibrating phone between your legs, are you?" (Sorry, that's the first thing that popped into my mind since I was teasing a girl about that last weekend)

I'd write something like, "Where is this place that we're going to, because I don't wanna get my ass lost! And if you don't tell me, I'll be sending you a bill for gas money "

 

[drmeathead]

yeah i guess you guys are right. oh well...i guess another game over?

 

[joekerr31]

first off you shouldn't be going out to 'bars' with a bartender. she controls the frame that way - moreover, she's going to be in 'work persona' even if she isn't working.

you need to take her out of her element so that she is in her 'non work persona' and so that you control the frame.

second, why is she leading? why is she inviting you to things instead of you asking her out to things? not that there is anything really wrong with this, but im just wondering why you are taking the lead more.

thirdly, the fault in your email was less that it was bland and more thant it was wishy washy. i'll show up, but i might have to go, and no drinking for me, blah blah blah - if you were a chic i'd be thinking 'great, a flaky high maintenance chic'

i mean, who cares about the details. all you have to say is 'i'll be there. just an fyi though, im on call that night, so theres a chance i may get called away."

as for the email itself. once again, all you have to do is keep it short. 'can you send me the directions? fyi, im on call that night so theres a chance i might not be able to stay long (but hoping I don't get paged). Looking forward to seeing you again."

that's it.

 

[drmeathead]

so game over or not?

 

[joekerr31]

of course the game isn't over. go the bar and do your thing.

then three days later or something call her and ask her out and do something that has nothing to do with bars.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

so game over or not?

Don't give up buddy just improve the email.

 

[Interceptor]

He already sent it. So he can't redo it.

That's fine.

Do not worry about it once it's done.

It's out of your hands now.

If you have enough things going on in your life to keep you busy, fulfilled, and happy it really will NOT matter at all.
Do not waste your precious emotional energy getting anxiety or stressing about it.
It will not help you.

As a rule of thumb, never do what you did.
What did you do?
Blab blab blab boruing Im so boring blab blab about my day its boring blab blab

Sample email

"hey chiquita,

hey I don't know what the address is, so if you want to enjoy my sexy company you better shoot me the adress pronto, if not I'll sneak into your house at night and slip into your bed and keep whispering sweet nothings until you give it to me............the address, you pervert!

You are so naughty!
But I like that .........

Adios,

Dr Meat head."




Don't talk about details of your day.You NEVER give out details like that to NON GFs.


A woman doesn't want to hear about your details. She is not your GF.
If it was your GF, you might say a littlebit of your day in a convo in person, neve rin an email.

And she does not want A MAN to sound like one of her girlfriends blabbing about what a bad boring day she had at work or something.

YOU'RE the Man.
Men do not talk like that, dude.

 

[drmeathead]

yeah i tihnk my email is bland looking back on it...but i am just not comfortable sending emails like the samples. that may work very very well for you guys and i appriciate you taking the time to share your thoughts but i just feel that isnt congruent with my actual persona.

it would be like i am an actor playing a role to keep up the vibe you guys give off in that email. while i agree the details of why or why not i wont be there got excessive, i just dont think that overly playful email works for me. if i got this girl via that route it would be like i would have to put on a face every time i saw her.

oh and the reason i am going to this thing of hers is that she asked me in person before i could ask her to make plans.

 

[guru1000]

good seeing you this weekend..anyway i need directions and a time for tuesday to archies, archers? also i am sitting here in my office and i am looking at the call schedule. i have call for presby hospital on tuesday night. it is no big deal as i try not to sit in that much on call nights so i dont miss my pager going off. the deal is no drinking for me and no promises that i will show up or i can even stay for long if i do. if the idiot box (my pager) goes off i may have to go. hopefully it wont and ill get a chance to hang out...

Why are you discussing this over email?

Pick up the phone! That's what men do.

 

[the_absolute]

Try to keep email and such short and sweet. You have time to really hone the content down and to carefully imply things if necessary. Nothing says "please want me" much more than long emails/texts. Compound that with a content of pure drivel and you stand a good chance of eighty-sixing whatever attraction she had towards you in the first place.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Why are you discussing this over email?

Pick up the phone! That's what men do.

I would completely agree with you if I was certain that the conversation would be nothing like that email. Drmeathead, you could have sent that same email to your boss.

Speaking of the boss, while Interceptor's example was a good one for someone you're close to, don't send something like that using your work computer. Too many things can be intercepted through your company's system since they not only own the computers but also any data created or sent from them.

Call her VM and leave her a sexy message or send her a quick flirt via text. C/F is your friend. Be creative and flirt when you can in order to feel good about not only receiving a message from you but also to feel good about going out with you.

 

[CGE333]

Drmeathead are you a Dr? If so than you have status over this bartendar. That doesn't mean you can treat her like shyt, but come on man, you are acting like she is the prize. Fast forward 5 years and you are making the big bucks and this bartendar will have gotten knocked up and had some "bad boys" love child and be suing him for child support. All the while she complain to her friends about how she cant meet a nice guy who will take care of her and her little angel.

Don't be hung up on this one chick. If you are a dr than you are around nurses, MA's, and PA's all the time and the majority of them are women. Women who because of your position already have you on a pedestal.

 

[drmeathead]

im a dentist but its the same deal. i dont have this girls number...yet. i think because i met her a patron then a myspace email she is taking it slow. i guess. most likely i am just being jerked around for tips. dentists make some cash and so do their dentist friends aka she will get tipped well if she smiles at us. ive been tipping her 20 percent tops simply because 20 percent is easy to figure out drinking. anyway she gives me these directions great...if not i have other plates i m spinning (and no not that girl from the gym but that plate isnt done with but it is on hold).

 

[JohnnyIrish]

Sample email

"hey chiquita,

hey I don't know what the address is, so if you want to enjoy my sexy company you better shoot me the adress pronto, if not I'll sneak into your house at night and slip into your bed and keep whispering sweet nothings until you give it to me............the address, you pervert!

You are so naughty!
But I like that .........

Adios,

Dr Meat head."

ROFL nice email! I tell ya.. I get some creative C/F ideas some times but not as often as you guys it would seem. Is there some secret to upping ones ability to think up C/F routines?

 

[drmeathead]

i sent this today...


i still need the time and directions for tonight...i am really bad guesser so if you could help me narrow it now just a little bit that would be super. see ya later on



i got a laugihng response with directions. i need to shower up and round up some wing men

 

[Desdinova]

Ah, very nice! Now you're getting somewhere