Thoughts on BPD and society

[Pandora]

My paradigm has changed ever since i met my now ex girlfriend ( BPD girl). She mindfuke* me so hard that it has changed my opinion on society. I have a few observations.

1.) Is society creating these type of women at an alarming rate? I have met two certifiably BPD chicks in the last 2 years. My buddy has also dated 1 or 2. My other friend has dated 1. I feel like this problem is nearing epidemic levels. Maybe the results of feminism and divorces has finally caught up with us.

2.) I cant even view porn in the same light as i used to. All i see now is BPD chicks. I used to wonder how a girl can do those nasty things on camera all day . I now suspect that most of those girls are some sort of cluster B female. Knowing that i am viewing mentally ill women at work is kinda of a boner killer. I feel kinda of sad for society. Porn is one of our biggest industries. Bigger than all sports franchises combined. So think about who populates an industry that large. It takes an army of damaged women to keep the porn industry afloat. There is no shortage of new cluster B girls waiting to audition.

3.) If i ever have a girl child i will make it my utmost duty to love her with all my affection. I now understand that the developmental stages of female girls are crucial. Any mistake in their development can lead to severe personality disorders including BPD. I dont know if deadbeat dads realize the damage they do to their kids when they abandon them. I feel like punching my ex girlfriend piece of shi* dad in the face. He was a very neglectful dad to her and still is.

4.) I cant look at sluts the same way again. I am repelled by them. I dont want easy sex after my BPD ex. I now associate easy sex with possible BPD. When sex is too easy there is usually a catch.

 

[Tictac]

Just keep blaming 'society' and BPD and sluts for all your problems. Everything will be fine.

Sheesh.

 

[Pandora]

Just keep blaming 'society' and BPD and sluts for all your problems. Everything will be fine.

Sheesh.

I didnt blame them for ALL my problems. What personal problems did i list? Overall my life is good. Please elaborate on what you are referring.

I am saying that they are a symptom of a decaying society. I am referring to the society of broken homes, and over-sexualization creating many girls with severe cluster B symptoms. Our society is toxic. The breakdown of the family unit is largely to blame. The majority of BPDs come from broken homes. So when i become a parent, if i do...i will make sure to take extra time with my daughter.

If the divorce rate doesnt slow down we are going to see a lot more dysfunctional cluster B women in the near future. They might be the majority in 20 yrs.

 

[speed dawg]

I dont know if deadbeat dads realize the damage they do to their kids when they abandon them.

No doubt that father issues contribute heavily to children being messed up. However, I think I have some depression/BPD/similar issues myself, and I was raised by 2 stable parents. Now, my father wasn't very close to me and my mother was neurotic, so they weren't perfect, but my point is that they were there and I still turned out sort of messed up. Up until my mid-20s, I was a pretty horrible person to know.

I wish I had an answer for all these things. Wish I could tell you it was diet, exercise, or some program you can go through for people to get better. I refuse to medicate myself too. But yes, like you appear to, I feel sorry for people out there because we all started out the same.

 

[Yewki]

I dont know if deadbeat dads realize the damage they do to their kids when they abandon them. I feel like punching my ex girlfriend piece of shi* dad in the face. He was a very neglectful dad to her and still is.

Wait your ex's dad is innocent, it was your ex's dad's dad's fault. Actually no it was your ex's dad's dad's dad's fault. Go sh*t on his grave!

I don't accept family history and environment as an excuse for any bad behavior in adults. If you were raped by your father, and now you're a 30 year old who is a terrible person... that's on you, honey. If you have a major chemical imbalance, I believe the person is still partially responsible for their actions... the other part is no one's fault. I'm not going to blame parents for passing down genetics that were bad. Lets get real.

 

[Pandora]

No doubt that father issues contribute heavily to children being messed up. However, I think I have some depression/BPD/similar issues myself, and I was raised by 2 stable parents. Now, my father wasn't very close to me and my mother was neurotic, so they weren't perfect, but my point is that they were there and I still turned out sort of messed up. Up until my mid-20s, I was a pretty horrible person to know.

I wish I had an answer for all these things. Wish I could tell you it was diet, exercise, or some program you can go through for people to get better. I refuse to medicate myself too. But yes, like you appear to, I feel sorry for people out there because we all started out the same.

You took the initiative to self improve. Just being on this forum shows that you are able to have self awareness and introspect. You have the discipline to change your self for the better.

Despite your bad upbringing you decided to change in your personality in your mid 20s. Most people that are messed up can never confront that they have a problem. Cognitive dissonance is strong in many people. Damaged women especially don't have the introspection necessary to change. They would rather read horoscopes all day than do some real self improvement.

 

[GS750]

I have to agree with you on the p0rn thing. I'm no expert on psychology, or p0rn for that matter. But I can't help but believe that only a damaged woman would seek out a career in the sex industry. But I agree with Yewki too. If you're a piece of sh*t as a human being, that's on you. People who are Cluster B, Bipolar, etc. have control over their actions. They know exactly what they are doing. Yeah, their emotions may be all over the place, but they still are responsible for the things that they do. I didn't exactly have a "Leave it to Beever" perfect childhood/upbringing. I had some issues with anger management in my teens and early 20's. But I owned it and go my sh*t together.

 

[old married dude]

I don't accept family history and environment as an excuse for any bad behavior in adults. If you were raped by your father, and now you're a 30 year old who is a terrible person... that's on you, honey. If you have a major chemical imbalance, I believe the person is still partially responsible for their actions... the other part is no one's fault. I'm not going to blame parents for passing down genetics that were bad. Lets get real.

Yeah just because a person's parents were pieces of sh1t doesn't mean they have to become one too. It can be a contributing factor, but not the complete cause.

 

[skinnyguy]

Please stop the pedestalization of BPD.

If you've dated multiple BPD's, is YOU not the woman. Stop thinking with your crotch and start screening better.

I've never dated a BPD, only normal girls. If I can do it you can too.

 

[Billtx49]

Skinnyguy, never even heard about BPD or this site until I got drug into a new life low point. Diagnosis? Not That I personally know of. Does her behavior and my symptoms match everything posted about the disorder here? Yes.
You can not screen for a condition unknown to you at the time.
You do have a point though, only a fool would do it more than once once he's dealt with one.

 

[Pandora]

If you've dated multiple BPD's, is YOU not the woman. Stop thinking with your crotch and start screening better.

Dude i didnt knowingly date multiple BPD girls. I didnt realize that some of the previous girls i dated were BPD until i started really learning about this condition a few weeks ago. I just thought my game was not good enough. Now looking back on it i realized what was going on. The erractic behaviors was not because of a lack of game. It was BPD.

Almost all of the girls that cause me the most trouble trying to game were BPD. Most of the guys that come to this site is because of some super duper confusing cluster B woman. Normal women are easy to read. Either they are interested or they are not.

Another thing to keep in mind is that BPD's respond better to pick up artist game than most sane women. So if you practice the PUA tatics taught here, you are bound to attract BPDs. They respond well to confidence and sexual aggression.

I keep stressing that until u have been through it you will not understand how insidious it is. This problem is quite common among attractive girls. The hotter they are the crazier they are.

 

[Boilermaker]

If one woman is able to change your views on society [ that contains many millions of women], you are doing it wrong.

If you have dated five dozen and have derived some sort of pattern, that may be acceptable.

My limited experience tells me, it is very hard to define a pattern that fits the definitions of BPD in all, while you may find traces of it in each and every one of them.

Too much theory -- get out there and find the woman you like. Don't lose sight of the fundamentals.

Sounds like your grief is rationalizing and theorizing a nasty breakup,

Good luck.

 

[sodbuster]

Our society used to correct these women.... now we accept them. THAT is the difference. Bruce or Kaitlen would have done it in SECRET 30 years ago, now "it" is front page news

 

[skinnyguy]

Another thing to keep in mind is that BPD's respond better to pick up artist game than most sane women. So if you practice the PUA tatics taught here, you are bound to attract BPDs. They respond well to confidence and sexual aggression.

I keep stressing that until u have been through it you will not understand how insidious it is. This problem is quite common among attractive girls. The hotter they are the crazier they are.

Your solutions are simple.

1) Stop going for the hottest women who you already know are bad news

2) Keep going for the hottest women knowing that their personalities are trash and will probably treat you like sh*t

But please, do not come on here whining like a girl about BPD. I did have an ex a few years ago who annoyed me, but I didn't complain about it on here. If anything, I was thankful for it because I knew what not to do next time.

 

[Slickster]

Pandora,

Before you get too philosophical about society and the world take a look at your situation:

- You live in Vegas.
- Your ex girlfriend was a divorced, substance abusing, stripper with an eating disorder, a possible history of sexual abuse, and extreme jealously issues.
- Half the girls you've dated in the past are strippers.
- You focus on sluts and damaged women.
- You've been living a one night stand/player lifestyle.
- You watch a lot of porn
- You think with your d!ck more than your head.

I don't know if you are seeing the big picture well enough yet to formulate theories on society.

I feel for you regarding your break-up. It's tough. Always is.

Something to consider....even if your ex wasn't a BPD there were still A LOT of red flags there regardless of how hot she was.

You need to start making better choices with your life.

What you see in others and the world is a reflection of yourself.

 

[Pandora]

Pandora,

Before you get too philosophical about society and the world take a look at your situation:

- You live in Vegas.
- Your ex girlfriend was a divorced, substance abusing, stripper with an eating disorder, a possible history of sexual abuse, and extreme jealously issues.
- Half the girls you've dated in the past are strippers.
- You focus on sluts and damaged women.
- You've been living a one night stand/player lifestyle.
- You watch a lot of porn
- You think with your d!ck more than your head.

I don't know if you are seeing the big picture well enough yet to formulate theories on society.

I feel for you regarding your break-up. It's tough. Always is.

Something to consider....even if your ex wasn't a BPD there were still A LOT of red flags there regardless of how hot she was.

You need to start making better choices with your life.

What you see in others and the world is a reflection of yourself.

Hey man i agree. Live and you learn. Im just fascinated with this BPD thing ever since i learned about it a few weeks ago thats why i been posting a lot. But i need to stop just thinking with my dic* in Vegas (easier said than done. Most guys cant follow that advice).

Btw she wasnt divorced she is only 21. But i agree still too many massive red flags. Its easy not to take red flags seriously until u run into stuff like this. Thanks for the advice.

 

[RacerEx]

I did a one-year LDR with a Cluster B-type who lived two hours away. Broke up over Christmas/New Year's, and here I'm coming up on the six-month point with my perspective on life in general and women in particular very much changed. I loved harder than I ever have before. If that was love. I can tell you that you really have to go there to be able to see what BPD/Narc symptoms can do to you. I've had major events in life, but it think this one prob has made the most impact. fml.

 

[speed dawg]

You took the initiative to self improve. Just being on this forum shows that you are able to have self awareness and introspect. You have the discipline to change your self for the better.

Despite your bad upbringing you decided to change in your personality in your mid 20s. Most people that are messed up can never confront that they have a problem. Cognitive dissonance is strong in many people. Damaged women especially don't have the introspection necessary to change. They would rather read horoscopes all day than do some real self improvement.

I agree, that in bold has always been my million dollar question.....what has to happen for people to wake up and look in the mirror. I know 70 year olds that still can't do it. I think it's arrogance and pride. I myself fell on the lower end of the spectrum, so I got depressed rather than arrogant. I guess feeling that way motivated me to figure sh*t out rather than to go on thinking that life was my playground.

 

[The_411]

It's a two way street. If you as a guy haven't addressed your own issues then cluster B women will smell blood in the water. Ignore the BPD label and simply ask yourself if a friend was dating girl who did x y z what would you say?

Anytime you are defending a woman's behavior it's time to walk away. Anytime a girl tells you a crazy story about being abused, molested and so forth it's time to walk away. Anytime a woman puts on an unrealistic pedestal it's time to walk away. If your friends tell you that the girl you are dating is crazy time to walk away ...

 

[Infern0]

The thing with BPD is that the girls ho have it often end up with either Cluster B males, or AFC's/Beta/Codependent guys

So the thing is a lot of what you see on sites like BPDfamily etc is codependent guys who got "devalued" but then they went full blown AFC and the girl obviously bounced. They then blame the BPD for what is actually pretty normal female reactions to a guy losing his frame completley and begging and pleading. Devaluation is usually reversable if you don't lose your **** like most guys do when it happens, you just mirror their IL level and usually they get over it pretty fast.

The BPD plate I have, she's diagnosed BPD and she behaves WAY better now I know the fundamentals and don't act AFC anymore, sure she still has her moments but she ain't half as bad as before, I couldn't care less about her depression and night terrors etc, all I care about is her behaviour towards me, and it's fine.

So the problem is, BPD and AFC come together and it's basically a girl with massive issues colliding with a guy who's got issues of his own and has no clue how to handle women anyway, so what you get is a trainwreck of epic proportions, add to that most BPD are hot and it's the only hot women AFC's can get and the result is an AFC who goes full retard, and a BPD chick who can't control her own emotions so you have two people going retard on each other. it's messy as hell.

Basically there's usually problems on both sides, if you want to dabble in BPD, there are rewards, great sex, usually super fun and spontanious and entertaining personality, no boundries, will do anything you ask, superb loyalty if you can keep them idealizing you, but on the other side if your frame slips or theres any AFC left in you, you're going to get hurt. So you have to be very emotionally strong and centered to consider it.

I don't listen to the people who say they are evil, or like a drug etc etc etc, having spent a lot of time around one, there is a real person there, just a very troubled one, At this stage I still think they are managable, I know many will disagree though.

BTW i'm talking about straight BPD, not BPD/NPD or BPD/ASPD hybrids, who are way worse and i wouldn't go near.