EyeOnThePrize
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2019
- Messages
- 1,126
- Reaction score
- 1,828
- Age
- 33
Incoming, wall of fuucked up text. Some of you know I'm doing a nofap challenge, and this is what it's come to lol
TLDR:
I've hardened again since last talking to my ex and want to fuuck her hard and use/abuse her like I did when I first started seeing her. She ignored my last text and it's only fueled the desire. How would I go about getting her on my diick? I know of a spot she volunteers at on Saturdays, I could approach and attempt to impose my will, but there's a high chance she'll reject just to be a cuunt or out of apprehension.
My ex was pretty screwed up. When I first met her she was findoming guys online into paying her thousands, drinking like a fish, smoking constantly, selling weed, and was dabbling in kinky stuff like knife and stupid hard impact play(black eyes and shiit). She wasn't going about kinky stuff the right way, she just wanted to be abused. She would go get bombed at a bar, bring a guy back and pass out while he fuucked her. She had cigarette burns on her leg that she wanted done to her. Her pusssy actually stank because of how much she drank. A real keeper.
At the time I could not give a shiit(I was in another nofap challenge actually) and we started off strictly fuucking and it felt amazing because she was one of the tightest girls I've screwed(she was tiny) but could take my pipe like a champ. I was basically using her to let off steam and she loved it. We got along and started dating. I was on a sober streak at the time and inspired her. She looked up to me and stopped drinking/smoking, and our sex was great. Her pusssy stopped stinking and became pristine over time because she started taking care of herself and hydrating. I started eating her out, life was good.
Over time I realized we were spending a ton of time together and had her move in with me. Part of me let her move in because I didn't want to worry about her porking other guys(yea super dumb reason, the self cuckery started).
Life was again good. I used her whenever I wanted(every day) and she eventually asked about marriage to which I said I don't believe we need to do that to be together(should have said I'm thinking about it to keep her on her toes). She started relaxing a bit while I was trying to do things I thought she'd appreciate(fixing her car, her laptop, getting her a new phone) and I began harboring resentment because she didn't show appreciation the way I wanted(it was toxic of me to expect anything, I get that now). The self cucking continued.
over time I lost my job, started smoking again, softened big time and couldn't pipe her down like before because I was such a cuck. Sex became routine and dull. I was intimidated by kinky stuff she wanted to try. She started smoking again, then started going out drinking. I told her to only have a couple drinks if I'm not there but she didn't listen. When she'd come home I'd fuuck her while she passed out. I would get high constantly and fuucked her out of spite for months like this until I became so soft that she could easily hurt my feelings. This turned her off hardcore(obviously) and she kept getting bombed until I called for a break up because I didn't feel respected.
I was hurt that she didn't want to work on stuff but instead opted to move out saying she had already been looking for a place. I helped her move out, we hooked up for a bit but I was too deep in the cuck hole to hold her respect. She blocked me on everything for 6 months because of some pics I posted with other chicks(I did it in a pathetic attempt to show value), then she came back being super sweet. I invited her to dinner but was still pretty cuck and the sex was absolute shiit as a result. Her pusssy actually stank again(not as bad as when I first met her) and it broke my little cuck heart.
fast forward another 3 months, I get her to meet up for food and I'm again a massive cuck, don't check her with alpha indifference for her past actions(she admits to blocking me for 6 months being a cuunt move and is wondering why I'm not mad at her), I played it off like 'yes you were but it's brought us here so whatever'. even though I said these things I radiate cuckness and she turns down an offer to continue the night. With some strange cuckness persistence I'm able to get a kiss out of her, despite her not wanting to give it and attempting to turn me off by talking about some guy shes seeing. it looked like she had to staple her stomach to do it and it was a peck.
but wait there's more! I sent a cuck text a couple days later asking what made start smoking again when we lived together, she answers with a question, I tell her to answer first and get no response. That was a few weeks ago.
alright now for some good news. the last 2 weeks I've been doing a crazy self discipline challenge, stopped smoking, started working on myself in all forms, and feel like an unbreakable ox at this point. I've been turning down FWB and not whacking it to push myself into new territory. After going out last night with some friends and talking up a few girls(my pick up game is absolute shiit, I'm a brute at this point) I go home. Had a good time but realized clubs are just a numbers and smoothness game. Competition is high so just gotta practice and figure out some super smooth situational lines to slowly escalate things. I got approached by a few girls but they were with guys/being friendly. My dumbass didn't connect them with my friends so we could have a good time together and instead dismissed them.
That booze really fuucked with my head. Last night in bed I missed my ex, and this morning I want to fuuck the living shiit out of her. I could call a FWB over but my ex is hotter. I could keep going out and eventually slay someone hotter but she really knew how to move her hips and take me(cuz she's more or less a hot wh0re/ex wh0re), something most girls suck at. Hitting her up right now would make it obvious that I don't have better girls available.
I have a few things in mind. I'm thinking of showing up at her volunteer thing and pretty much asking her about our sex in a seductive way in an attempt to get her hot and comfortable with the idea of us going to her place(it's closer to the volunteer thing) so I can fuuck the living hell out of her. I really couldn't give two shiits if she rejects me, I'll walk because she'd be a moron to turn down my sex at this point. I don't care what she thinks, I only want to do what'll increase my chances of breaking her wide open. Ideas?
I'm also thinking of taking the FWB out to help pull hotter girls.
or should I not bother with the ex, quit being a little biitch, and go out and put in the work to find another hot freak? I mean we can probably agree that's the real alpha move. Win all around, just takes more work/trial and error.
This is all a result of nofap, not smoking, getting a few rejections in last night, and my fuucked up kink to objectify women. I'm basically owning up to having problems and not giving a fuuck because right now I just want to dominate and screw. I'm going to be ultra efficient with pusssy and not settle into anything for the time being, and not be afraid to treat women how I feel like treating them.
There's a battle in my head that says doing this is demeaning myself in the long run. That I should use this energy for self improvement and quit wasting time on women that aren't worth long term investment. The other side says fuuck long term investment. Pump dump and conquer with less than ideal girls to feed this hunger, no need to even THINK about relationships or starting a family, that's chick shiit.
As this challenge goes on I'm slowing becoming the latter and see nothing wrong with it. But does that make me a slave to my ****? Am I cucking to my own libido and sexual drive?
TLDR:
I've hardened again since last talking to my ex and want to fuuck her hard and use/abuse her like I did when I first started seeing her. She ignored my last text and it's only fueled the desire. How would I go about getting her on my diick? I know of a spot she volunteers at on Saturdays, I could approach and attempt to impose my will, but there's a high chance she'll reject just to be a cuunt or out of apprehension.
My ex was pretty screwed up. When I first met her she was findoming guys online into paying her thousands, drinking like a fish, smoking constantly, selling weed, and was dabbling in kinky stuff like knife and stupid hard impact play(black eyes and shiit). She wasn't going about kinky stuff the right way, she just wanted to be abused. She would go get bombed at a bar, bring a guy back and pass out while he fuucked her. She had cigarette burns on her leg that she wanted done to her. Her pusssy actually stank because of how much she drank. A real keeper.
At the time I could not give a shiit(I was in another nofap challenge actually) and we started off strictly fuucking and it felt amazing because she was one of the tightest girls I've screwed(she was tiny) but could take my pipe like a champ. I was basically using her to let off steam and she loved it. We got along and started dating. I was on a sober streak at the time and inspired her. She looked up to me and stopped drinking/smoking, and our sex was great. Her pusssy stopped stinking and became pristine over time because she started taking care of herself and hydrating. I started eating her out, life was good.
Over time I realized we were spending a ton of time together and had her move in with me. Part of me let her move in because I didn't want to worry about her porking other guys(yea super dumb reason, the self cuckery started).
Life was again good. I used her whenever I wanted(every day) and she eventually asked about marriage to which I said I don't believe we need to do that to be together(should have said I'm thinking about it to keep her on her toes). She started relaxing a bit while I was trying to do things I thought she'd appreciate(fixing her car, her laptop, getting her a new phone) and I began harboring resentment because she didn't show appreciation the way I wanted(it was toxic of me to expect anything, I get that now). The self cucking continued.
over time I lost my job, started smoking again, softened big time and couldn't pipe her down like before because I was such a cuck. Sex became routine and dull. I was intimidated by kinky stuff she wanted to try. She started smoking again, then started going out drinking. I told her to only have a couple drinks if I'm not there but she didn't listen. When she'd come home I'd fuuck her while she passed out. I would get high constantly and fuucked her out of spite for months like this until I became so soft that she could easily hurt my feelings. This turned her off hardcore(obviously) and she kept getting bombed until I called for a break up because I didn't feel respected.
I was hurt that she didn't want to work on stuff but instead opted to move out saying she had already been looking for a place. I helped her move out, we hooked up for a bit but I was too deep in the cuck hole to hold her respect. She blocked me on everything for 6 months because of some pics I posted with other chicks(I did it in a pathetic attempt to show value), then she came back being super sweet. I invited her to dinner but was still pretty cuck and the sex was absolute shiit as a result. Her pusssy actually stank again(not as bad as when I first met her) and it broke my little cuck heart.
fast forward another 3 months, I get her to meet up for food and I'm again a massive cuck, don't check her with alpha indifference for her past actions(she admits to blocking me for 6 months being a cuunt move and is wondering why I'm not mad at her), I played it off like 'yes you were but it's brought us here so whatever'. even though I said these things I radiate cuckness and she turns down an offer to continue the night. With some strange cuckness persistence I'm able to get a kiss out of her, despite her not wanting to give it and attempting to turn me off by talking about some guy shes seeing. it looked like she had to staple her stomach to do it and it was a peck.
but wait there's more! I sent a cuck text a couple days later asking what made start smoking again when we lived together, she answers with a question, I tell her to answer first and get no response. That was a few weeks ago.
alright now for some good news. the last 2 weeks I've been doing a crazy self discipline challenge, stopped smoking, started working on myself in all forms, and feel like an unbreakable ox at this point. I've been turning down FWB and not whacking it to push myself into new territory. After going out last night with some friends and talking up a few girls(my pick up game is absolute shiit, I'm a brute at this point) I go home. Had a good time but realized clubs are just a numbers and smoothness game. Competition is high so just gotta practice and figure out some super smooth situational lines to slowly escalate things. I got approached by a few girls but they were with guys/being friendly. My dumbass didn't connect them with my friends so we could have a good time together and instead dismissed them.
That booze really fuucked with my head. Last night in bed I missed my ex, and this morning I want to fuuck the living shiit out of her. I could call a FWB over but my ex is hotter. I could keep going out and eventually slay someone hotter but she really knew how to move her hips and take me(cuz she's more or less a hot wh0re/ex wh0re), something most girls suck at. Hitting her up right now would make it obvious that I don't have better girls available.
I have a few things in mind. I'm thinking of showing up at her volunteer thing and pretty much asking her about our sex in a seductive way in an attempt to get her hot and comfortable with the idea of us going to her place(it's closer to the volunteer thing) so I can fuuck the living hell out of her. I really couldn't give two shiits if she rejects me, I'll walk because she'd be a moron to turn down my sex at this point. I don't care what she thinks, I only want to do what'll increase my chances of breaking her wide open. Ideas?
I'm also thinking of taking the FWB out to help pull hotter girls.
or should I not bother with the ex, quit being a little biitch, and go out and put in the work to find another hot freak? I mean we can probably agree that's the real alpha move. Win all around, just takes more work/trial and error.
This is all a result of nofap, not smoking, getting a few rejections in last night, and my fuucked up kink to objectify women. I'm basically owning up to having problems and not giving a fuuck because right now I just want to dominate and screw. I'm going to be ultra efficient with pusssy and not settle into anything for the time being, and not be afraid to treat women how I feel like treating them.
There's a battle in my head that says doing this is demeaning myself in the long run. That I should use this energy for self improvement and quit wasting time on women that aren't worth long term investment. The other side says fuuck long term investment. Pump dump and conquer with less than ideal girls to feed this hunger, no need to even THINK about relationships or starting a family, that's chick shiit.
As this challenge goes on I'm slowing becoming the latter and see nothing wrong with it. But does that make me a slave to my ****? Am I cucking to my own libido and sexual drive?
