Thoughts after 23 years of marriage

[Frogster]

I'm currently in my 23rd year of marriage.

I'm not gonna lie to you. After you get married, the sex dies off. So, why is that? Why does the sex die off, and what can you do about it?

My wife just had a hysterectomy, and she's turned into a crazy nympho. I'm fvcking her nightly, and a couple of times a day on the weekend. So, I had to ask "Why the big change?"

I think her answer is priceless, and it illustrates how we as men don't understand what's going on in a woman's life or in her head.

She said, "Initially, when we were younger it was obvious you had a stonger libido than I. Once we started having kids, there was just too much stuff to get done around the house. I was always exhausted, and you never helped out. And to be honest, you let yourself go. You never tried to improve yourself, and you took me for granted. Then I started having issues with endomitriosis, and I would experience pain during sex. There were times that I worried that I would start bleeding during intercourse (which happened a couple of times.) All of that made me reluctant to have sex. I was always worried, or in pain. I know at times I was a psycho-*****, and some of that was hormonal, and some was the medication I was on. Thank you for staying with me."

"Now that I've had my plumbing removed, all of those issues are gone. Some women say having a hysterectomy lower's your libido, but I find it liberating. Your libido has dropped, and now I regret the past 20 years of not taking advantage of every hard on you had."

After 20 years, I still find that I have no idea what's going on in her head, but I find the above information revealing. If you want to be some selfish bastard, that only wants to use women for sex, you'll never have a REAL relationship with a woman. However, if you're willing to invest in that relationship, you will be rewarded with a life long friendship.

I found sosuave, by a google search for "Romantic Ideas". I'm not looking for another relationship. I'm looking to improve myself AND my current relationship, so I've learned a lot on this site. Looking back, I can see the psychology of different events that took place in my marriage. There's a lot of TRUTH on here, but there's a lot of pessimism.

You single guys can easily learn to be a hater on this site. Don't be a hater.

A REAL Don Juan loves women, and tries to understand them.

 

[TheCWord]

Awesome post, Frog. I hope you stick around. Lots of good advice on this site but not a lot of guys with experience in long lasting, quality relationships.

 

[Epimanes]

Congrats on 23 years married. Its a difficult feat. I myself have been with my wife for 21 years and married to her for almost 18 of them. Yes sex dies off when you have kids. I agree. My kids are finally getting to an age where my wife and I get a bit more time together now and we greatly improved our marriage using marriagebuilders.com and I improved myself to be more attractive to my wife with some of the tools here. There is finally payoff.

Epi

 

[GotED?]

I am glad you still find your wife after 23 years, still sexually and physically attractive.

She must have kept her self in good shape - this is NOT the norm for most women, they get lazy and that's the fundamental truth about women (and probably men as well). Human beings just get complacent and LAZY if they don't have to work hard at something.

I would think your story is NOT of the norm. Most people change way too much after 5 to 10 years. What one acquires as a spouse/partner initially, one of the partners probably had a low self-esteem at the time. Fast foward 5-10-15 years ahead. One of the partner is going to now look at the world with a different set of eyes after he or she has healed of that poor self-esteem. He or she probably won't find the current partner too attractive because he or she can score much better man or woman now realizing he or she is healed of that low self-esteem in the younger years.

It is so complicated. I am still under the assumption it is a Russian Roulette game. You have just been the luckier one beating the odds and I am happy for you.

Exodus

 

[Dgwizdal]

So what have you taken from this site so far as to how you can improve upon your marriage? What are the truths that you have found?

 

[Frogster]

I am glad you still find your wife after 23 years, still sexually and physically attractive.

She must have kept her self in good shape - this is NOT the norm for most women, they get lazy and that's the fundamental truth about women (and probably men as well). Human beings just get complacent and LAZY if they don't have to work hard at something.

I would think your story is NOT of the norm. Most people change way too much after 5 to 10 years. What one acquires as a spouse/partner initially, one of the partners probably had a low self-esteem at the time. Fast foward 5-10-15 years ahead. One of the partner is going to now look at the world with a different set of eyes after he or she has healed of that poor self-esteem. He or she probably won't find the current partner too attractive because he or she can score much better man or woman now realizing he or she is healed of that low self-esteem in the younger years.

It is so complicated. I am still under the assumption it is a Russian Roulette game. You have just been the luckier one beating the odds and I am happy for you.

Exodus

There's definitely some truth to your post.

When I go to highschool reunions, or football games, I look around and think to myself "I'm so lucky my wife has aged well". Both of our weight has fluctuated over the years, and we are both trying to lose weight right now.

We're both in our 40s, and our physical appearance is certainly deteriorating. But now that she's reached 40, I'm not going to trade her in for 2 20s. For one thing, I'm not wired for 220

If you're still comparing your wife to other women after 5-10-15 years, and thinking you can "score a better woman", the relationship isn't going to work out, and it's not because of her. It's because of you. After 15 years you still haven't committed.

Nobody's perfect. You can find flaws in ANY woman. Find one you like and invest in the relationship. Stick with her through the thick and thin (pun intended).

And you're right... There's no guarantees... Who's to say she doesn't trade me in for 2 20s?

 

[Frogster]

So what have you taken from this site so far as to how you can improve upon your marriage? What are the truths that you have found?

The Psychology here is pure genious.

I'll admit, I was an AFC when I met my wife, and certainly made my share of mistakes. Looking back on my relationship, I see where I increased my perceived value, and where I made the typical chump mistakes.

All of my relationships up until my wife were AFC relationships. In 1990, I said "fvck it" and decided to just use women for sex. This was certainly before the whole PUA thing became big (The GAME was published in 2005). Little did I know I had changed my persona from AFC to Alpha Male. I only fvcked a couple of other women before meeting my wife, and when I met her, she was only someone I wanted to score with (which I did on the second date). We became FBs, but the relationship grew. This is probably because I fell back into a few of my AFC ways.

I was certainly opinionated and at times a "jerk", but I softened to her. At a certain point I asked myself "WTF??? She should be a FB", so I tried to break it off. This created instant perceived value... I had no idea I had done the right thing. I literally fell into it. She immediately did everything she could to keep me. And it worked out, and we eventually got married.

At a low point during her "medicated psyco fits", I started packing my bags... Who knew it was a "**** test"... Not only did she beg me to stay, she stopped taking the medication, and went to her doctor to find something else..

The thing is... I think she's a solid 8, and see myself as a 7. She's better than me in EVERY way (physically, socially, hell she's even smarter than me), but she doesn't see it that way.

So, I litterally stumbled upon these PUA techniques, and it was all because I had some self respect.

I've learnt a few things:

I stumble upon sosuave.com via a google search for "Romantic Ideas" and I came to:
http://sosuave.com/romance/default.htm

1 BIG thing I learned was to buy generic VIAGRA from purity-solutions.net... I needed it after my wife went Nympho. HUGE THANKS FOR WHOEVER RECOMMENDED THEM!

2nd, I learned about all of the psychology of relationships, and I can see what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong.

I've learned that I must be constantly working on self improvement.

And I've learned not to accept disrespect from ANYONE.

This type of stuff not only helps with your relationships, but it helps with your career.

 

[GotED?]

What is the product name for the generic VIAGRA from purity-solutions.net??

Everything sounds too technical and mad-scientist like.

Exodus

 

[TheCWord]

She immediately did everything she could to keep me. And it worked out, and we eventually got married.

She's better than me in EVERY way (physically, socially, hell she's even smarter than me), but she doesn't see it that way.

Quoted for the next time any of us start chasing the girl and forget it's supposed to be the other way around if it's ever going to work.

 

[Frogster]

Well,

1. I'm new here, so it could be perceived that I'm marketing for them. I would recommend that you search sosuave.net for reviews from people that have been here a long time. I would also recommend checking out steroid sites, because those guys know where to get their "stuff". That way you have a more reputable source than some guy who's posted less than 10 posts on this site.

2. Go to PDE5 Inhibitors. The Sidenafil is Viagra, the Tadalafil is Cialis, and the Vardenafil is Lavitra.

I purchased the Viagra and received it within 3 days. I can certainly say it works. I'm back to my young self, and am even waking up with morning wood, which my wife is more than happy to take advantage of.

Take it for what its worth.

 

[GotED?]

Well,

1. I'm new here, so it could be perceived that I'm marketing for them. I would recommend that you search sosuave.net for reviews from people that have been here a long time. I would also recommend checking out steroid sites, because those guys know where to get their "stuff". That way you have a more reputable source than some guy who's posted less than 10 posts on this site.

2. Go to PDE5 Inhibitors. The Sidenafil is Viagra, the Tadalafil is Cialis, and the Vardenafil is Lavitra.

I purchased the Viagra and received it within 3 days. I can certainly say it works. I'm back to my young self, and am even waking up with morning wood, which my wife is more than happy to take advantage of.

Take it for what its worth.

How old are you now?

Do you feel any side effect?

How much do you take?

(Yeah, looks a bit intimidating on the label 'NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION' LOL)

 

[Frogster]

How old are you now?

Do you feel any side effect?

How much do you take?

(Yeah, looks a bit intimidating on the label 'NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION' LOL)

I'm 43

They do that for legal reasons... You can also check out reviews of the product from one of their competitors, www.rui-products.com. Purity's site doesn't have any reviews.

The reason I went with purity is because the advertised dosage was 50mg/ml verses 25mg/ml at RUI.

I have been taking .5 ml (or 25mg) and also take tylenol for the headache, and a couple of antacid for the heartburn. I haven't gotten flushed, but did feel a little light headed, not dizzy.

I did try uping the dosage to 50mg, but didn't detect any perceived benefit, and only had more intense side effects.

Hope this helps...

 

[GotED?]

Thanks Frogster

That's some serious side effects for a good damn woody!! LOL.....

I should be more educated in these things, can't live up to my username.

What a sham I am.

Exodus

 

[VladPatton]

Great post!

 

[abe0]

To the OP...you are a lucky man and there are a lot of happily married people but they are not going to posting here. I was one of them...but I lost my wife to a severe mental illness when she went through menopause. She had severe bipolar which symptoms did not come out till after a number of stressors and a little bit borderline. She went totally crazy and refused medications....so there went 24 years!
Great post and great that your wife was able to put everything together for you....it is too bad she did not discuss this while it was happening. Abe

 

[thatfeel]

Do you ever think she cheated on you during the 23 years?

 

[Frogster]

Do you ever think she cheated on you during the 23 years?

Would an Alpha REALLY go around worrying if his girl is messing around?

We're all human, so anything's possible.

I know I never cheated on her.

Yeah, the thought of her cheating on me has entered the back of my mind, but not seriously. I could walk around all day feeling insecure about my relationship, or jealous of every guy that talks to her, but what would that accomplish?

What I do know is that she's very into me right now, and I doubt she's looking for anything else.

But once again, we're all human. If she chose to leave me tomorrow, I'd be very bummed. There's a lot of good advice regarding cheating spouses on this site. They're not worth your time, so I'd have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start playing the field again.

Yeah, she's a HB8 (I get told by men and women that she's hot), and she's a nympho :woo: But the relationship is a LOT more than sex.

 

[JohnChops]

Would an Alpha REALLY go around worrying if his girl is messing around?

We're all human, so anything's possible.

I know I never cheated on her.

Yeah, the thought of her cheating on me has entered the back of my mind, but not seriously. I could walk around all day feeling insecure about my relationship, or jealous of every guy that talks to her, but what would that accomplish?

What I do know is that she's very into me right now, and I doubt she's looking for anything else.

But once again, we're all human. If she chose to leave me tomorrow, I'd be very bummed. There's a lot of good advice regarding cheating spouses on this site. They're not worth your time, so I'd have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start playing the field again.

Yeah, she's a HB8 (I get told by men and women that she's hot), and she's a nympho :woo: But the relationship is a LOT more than sex.

dynamite advice and insight right here, cheers bud!

 

[VikingKing]

Nice post. One question, if one day she came and either recently, or years ago, cheated once or more, what would u do?