"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Thought I would introduce myself

MartinARMT

Don Juan
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Nov 19, 2013
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First off I hope this is in the right area.

Hello everyone, here is a little info about myself. I'm 28 and a veteran. Currently a full time student.

I am currently going through a divorce after a few years of marriage. It has been ugly so far, and we don't even have kids. The first half of my marriage was great. The second half not so much. Not to get into to much detail, after the military I've had problems with depression and other such things. It shook my confidence. Add in the divorce and my confidence level is at 0%. I've gained about 70lbs after the military, which also doesn't help.

I found this site by googling something or another about confidence. I am in a desperate need to get some. My self esteem is ridiculously low. I have already started to take care of myself. I have lost approximately 40lbs since she left. I have gone to a couple of functions I found on meetup.com to start to meet new people since I really don't know anyone(besides family) here.

That is pretty much it for now. I don't have any specific questions of yet but i'm sure I eventually will.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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apprenticedj

Senior Don Juan
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Welcome Martin. Keep working on youself, reading, learning and putting yourself out there. Trust me as someone who is working on the same things as you it's hard but dammit it's WELL worth it. Your confidence will rebound and your past will be behind you. Cheers to becoming the best you that you can be!
 

SemperDJ

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2012
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Thank you for your service,

Life after the military followed by divorce is very overwhelming as I myself have witness many individuals going
through the same thing right after their contract was over, some manage to get back on their feet while others
were unlucky and took many months of counseling and rehab
(Alcohol/Drugs, common problem for many veterans).

As for now I think you're already on the right track as far as realizing your flaws and fixing them

And welcome to the community!
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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HyperAnalyze

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2013
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Washington, D.C.
Open your mind to knowledge. Read the DJ Bible. At least once a day for 30 minutes.

Starting working on yourself, go to the gym, eat healthy, get your finances in check and start posting field reports of all your experiences so that we can help you improve.
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
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midwestern cow field 40
MartinARMT said:
How has it worked out for you?
Well, the woman who divorced me regrets her decision. Moving on and having good relations with the women of your future is the best way to leave the marriage of your past.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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