Hey guys,
I was having trouble picking what to write about at this late hour but I think I finally found it. I want to write about the battle. The battle which goes on everyday between you and the rest of the world. Call it interaction if you will.
We live in a world where each force reacts to another. A world where there can be no action without reaction.
When was the last time you were happy with yourself. Not happy, but proud? When I recall such times, though not many, they are all around my victory over my urges, my emotions.... myself. In todays world, we try to protect ourselves from a number of things. That is why we have limits on our life, to protect us from what's on the other side. You shut the door on religion because the other side doesn't please you. There are many such "limits" around our life but there is one that we don't have a limit against.... and that is yourself.
Remember, and it's not the only movie, in LotR 1 when Frodo asks Aragorn "Can you protect me from yourself?". Did that sentence touch you? Cause it hit me hard. I pondered today, can I protect my loved ones from myself? Am I evil? Am I root of some negative action? Am I a threat to my self and to those around me? Indeed... I am. We all are. We are all dangers to the world around us. We are dangerous because we can control that world in a positive and negative way.
Well I now recount the times when I had to protect myself from myself and protect those around me from myself. Just a few days ago, my parents got on my nerves. They were dealing out policies that were absurd and misplaced. Anger was flowing through me. This was untolerable.... I started raising my voice and I was speaking my mind. They did not chose to back down however so I stormed off. Emotions over took me. Much was anger... irritation. But I stayed in my room and within minutes, the emotions were suppressed. I was full ready to give everyone the cold shoulder until these policies be removed and basically make everyone's life horrible while being polite. But somewhere, a little voice said no. No, you will not be like that. No, you will stand up, you will suck it up, you will be a MAN and don't show that it affects you. That is how you will win. And so, I happily danced in my room having defeated such great emotions.
How does this relate to women? See the next story:
At the begining of this school year, I was a ladiesman. Always was. Natural to some extent. And so, every hour of every day, I had some new chick holding on to my arm or holding my hand or caressing some part of my body. I never claimed any of these girls. They were not worth my time. So easily seduced... so... vile. But one chick, about a 5... maybe 5.5, caught my interrest, She didn't do what everyone else did... she just came and talked to me and she was damn funny. Convos were so great and we roamed around alot just the 2 of us. It was really fun. I was running my game on her all the time and she fell for me. Over at my place, with about 8 friends, we'd watch a movie, play pool etc and I would end up having her in my arms(vile stench about her too) and holding her hand during the movie... I was.. ready to take her!
I have high standards gentlemen, but I wanted this chick even though she lacked physically. And so one day, nature put me to the test. Rather, I put myself, unconsciously, to the test. I invited her over on a sunday after noon to stay at my place for 3 hours. I was "Feeling" stuff for her. She came over and we were in a room alone with a big bed. Nothing happened for awhile, usual talk even though we both felt the big moment coming. And she sat there, her eyes showing her complete readiness, and I kneel before her with my hands on her legs, massaging her. Her parents show but they chat with mine. For 20 minutes, we stood there gazing into each others eyes. Time was pressing. If I was gonna do something, it was now or never. I was horny as ****. My d*ck was hard and ready for some god forsaken enjoyment. I wanted her BAD. And time continued to pass...Until finally... I had made up my mind. I made my move:
I got up, offered her my hand and said "It's time to go."
On that day gentlemen, I can not express what I felt. Both before and after. Before I felt what was the culmination of a long while in puberty desperatly seeking action while my mental standards were so high that I took nothing. It came back and hit me so hard I was fantasizing about that ugly chick. I was completly over taken by physical demands that I was about to blow away in 1 second everything I ever was. I had become desperate... physically, not mentally. On that fateful sunday.... I believe I performed an action worthy of being called a MAN. After that event, I was on top of the world. I was faced against the toughest challenge, the one against myself and I had WON! On that day, everything I ever believed in, myself, my abilities, my looks, my beliefs,my feelings, my past , all was justified. All was made official. I was not a fake. I fought for what I believed for and won, and THAT made me a man.
On that day, I realised that staying true to myself was far more rewarding than my physical urges. It allowed for the next story:
I finally got the one quality chick my age I had ever met in my 15 years to ask me out. I had oneitis for her for awhile but it ended about a month before we got together (side note: I think it's funny that after dreaming of having her for so long that one day I could forget about her and really not give a **** about her and THEN get her is ridiculously funny. When I least wanted it, I got it. ahh... nature.
). Anyways, this is a LTR and I went to my best friends party and she couldn't go (while we were together, first month). Well, it's a party. Room getting hot, dancing with a lot of chicks, putting quite a few to the wall. This one chick gets me and puts me against the wall. I'm really horny by now, I've gotten real close to alot of chicks physically that night. She starts rubbing my junk and it feels good. So could I think I might cvm if she keeps it up much longer. We're in a dark area where no one can see us and we are almost lip to lip. I'm getting her excited, putting my hands where they shouldn't have been and honestly, that was the horniest I had EVER been my whole life. She's about to lean in for the kiss and "it" happened. By "it" I mean those moments where time freezes and you spend an eternity on one instant. I was right there, so ready to get puzzy, so horny and hormone crazed. It was about to happen, I was going to atleast get head from this rather hot chick. But that little voice came back. It didn't even need to argue. It just said my girlfriends name. I had a girlfriend. I had wanted her for a year and a half and now that I had her, I was going to drop her over action I could get from her? But I was horny... What can I say? I was over taken. Unfortunatly, Time ran it's course and she leaned in. A split second before our lips met, my finger seperated our 2 lips. Both breathing hard in absolute teenage horniness, I pushed her back and walked away.
I didn't cheat on my girlfriend. I was worth more then that. I had more honor then that. I had a quality girlfriend and it was a rare commodity. I was not going to lose it over nothing. More importantly, I was not going to cheat. I was not going to betray, not only my girlfriend, but also myself and that just wasn't going to happen, not on my watch.
On both occasions, I was made stronger. I was put to the test and I was being judged where the odds were most against me. I was judged not by how I was in time of prosperity but in time of temptation and probable failure. Many such events similar to these 2 have happened to me in the past. These I find are the 2 worth the most notice on these boards. I can only hope that you can learn from them what I did. I can only hope that it makes you want to be better then yourself. To defy and beat yourself. If you can beat yourself, and this is from firsthand experience, than you can defeat anything. Some don't have the mental stength to do so, others just don't believe in such ways. Such words as "valor" and "honor" or "virtue" are all foreign words to them. Do you choose to ignore these words? Do you choose to give more worth to your life? Do you choose to make yourself a better person?
Some one on these boards once said (I'm sorry but I've searched and can't find the author) that we could say that personality is how a person is before others and character was who the person really was when no one was watching. Do you have good character?
I believe we all get desperate. Be it with women or with life in general, we all eventually want something really bad. When you get desperate, you lower your standards. In the end, you arn't happy because mentally, your choices didn't concur with your principles. We have all been there many times, admit it. How did you handle it? Everytime we go, we lower our standards and we arn't happy later on yet we don't learn our lesson. We keep falling prey to our desires. No more gentlemen, no more. Learn your lesson and accept defeat. The past however does not hold a grip on the outcome of the future. You can walk the same path or you can march along side me, on the higher road. The road to happiness.
Choose your path.
Lik
I was having trouble picking what to write about at this late hour but I think I finally found it. I want to write about the battle. The battle which goes on everyday between you and the rest of the world. Call it interaction if you will.
We live in a world where each force reacts to another. A world where there can be no action without reaction.
When was the last time you were happy with yourself. Not happy, but proud? When I recall such times, though not many, they are all around my victory over my urges, my emotions.... myself. In todays world, we try to protect ourselves from a number of things. That is why we have limits on our life, to protect us from what's on the other side. You shut the door on religion because the other side doesn't please you. There are many such "limits" around our life but there is one that we don't have a limit against.... and that is yourself.
Remember, and it's not the only movie, in LotR 1 when Frodo asks Aragorn "Can you protect me from yourself?". Did that sentence touch you? Cause it hit me hard. I pondered today, can I protect my loved ones from myself? Am I evil? Am I root of some negative action? Am I a threat to my self and to those around me? Indeed... I am. We all are. We are all dangers to the world around us. We are dangerous because we can control that world in a positive and negative way.
Well I now recount the times when I had to protect myself from myself and protect those around me from myself. Just a few days ago, my parents got on my nerves. They were dealing out policies that were absurd and misplaced. Anger was flowing through me. This was untolerable.... I started raising my voice and I was speaking my mind. They did not chose to back down however so I stormed off. Emotions over took me. Much was anger... irritation. But I stayed in my room and within minutes, the emotions were suppressed. I was full ready to give everyone the cold shoulder until these policies be removed and basically make everyone's life horrible while being polite. But somewhere, a little voice said no. No, you will not be like that. No, you will stand up, you will suck it up, you will be a MAN and don't show that it affects you. That is how you will win. And so, I happily danced in my room having defeated such great emotions.
How does this relate to women? See the next story:
At the begining of this school year, I was a ladiesman. Always was. Natural to some extent. And so, every hour of every day, I had some new chick holding on to my arm or holding my hand or caressing some part of my body. I never claimed any of these girls. They were not worth my time. So easily seduced... so... vile. But one chick, about a 5... maybe 5.5, caught my interrest, She didn't do what everyone else did... she just came and talked to me and she was damn funny. Convos were so great and we roamed around alot just the 2 of us. It was really fun. I was running my game on her all the time and she fell for me. Over at my place, with about 8 friends, we'd watch a movie, play pool etc and I would end up having her in my arms(vile stench about her too) and holding her hand during the movie... I was.. ready to take her!
I have high standards gentlemen, but I wanted this chick even though she lacked physically. And so one day, nature put me to the test. Rather, I put myself, unconsciously, to the test. I invited her over on a sunday after noon to stay at my place for 3 hours. I was "Feeling" stuff for her. She came over and we were in a room alone with a big bed. Nothing happened for awhile, usual talk even though we both felt the big moment coming. And she sat there, her eyes showing her complete readiness, and I kneel before her with my hands on her legs, massaging her. Her parents show but they chat with mine. For 20 minutes, we stood there gazing into each others eyes. Time was pressing. If I was gonna do something, it was now or never. I was horny as ****. My d*ck was hard and ready for some god forsaken enjoyment. I wanted her BAD. And time continued to pass...Until finally... I had made up my mind. I made my move:
I got up, offered her my hand and said "It's time to go."
On that day gentlemen, I can not express what I felt. Both before and after. Before I felt what was the culmination of a long while in puberty desperatly seeking action while my mental standards were so high that I took nothing. It came back and hit me so hard I was fantasizing about that ugly chick. I was completly over taken by physical demands that I was about to blow away in 1 second everything I ever was. I had become desperate... physically, not mentally. On that fateful sunday.... I believe I performed an action worthy of being called a MAN. After that event, I was on top of the world. I was faced against the toughest challenge, the one against myself and I had WON! On that day, everything I ever believed in, myself, my abilities, my looks, my beliefs,my feelings, my past , all was justified. All was made official. I was not a fake. I fought for what I believed for and won, and THAT made me a man.
On that day, I realised that staying true to myself was far more rewarding than my physical urges. It allowed for the next story:
I finally got the one quality chick my age I had ever met in my 15 years to ask me out. I had oneitis for her for awhile but it ended about a month before we got together (side note: I think it's funny that after dreaming of having her for so long that one day I could forget about her and really not give a **** about her and THEN get her is ridiculously funny. When I least wanted it, I got it. ahh... nature.
). Anyways, this is a LTR and I went to my best friends party and she couldn't go (while we were together, first month). Well, it's a party. Room getting hot, dancing with a lot of chicks, putting quite a few to the wall. This one chick gets me and puts me against the wall. I'm really horny by now, I've gotten real close to alot of chicks physically that night. She starts rubbing my junk and it feels good. So could I think I might cvm if she keeps it up much longer. We're in a dark area where no one can see us and we are almost lip to lip. I'm getting her excited, putting my hands where they shouldn't have been and honestly, that was the horniest I had EVER been my whole life. She's about to lean in for the kiss and "it" happened. By "it" I mean those moments where time freezes and you spend an eternity on one instant. I was right there, so ready to get puzzy, so horny and hormone crazed. It was about to happen, I was going to atleast get head from this rather hot chick. But that little voice came back. It didn't even need to argue. It just said my girlfriends name. I had a girlfriend. I had wanted her for a year and a half and now that I had her, I was going to drop her over action I could get from her? But I was horny... What can I say? I was over taken. Unfortunatly, Time ran it's course and she leaned in. A split second before our lips met, my finger seperated our 2 lips. Both breathing hard in absolute teenage horniness, I pushed her back and walked away.I didn't cheat on my girlfriend. I was worth more then that. I had more honor then that. I had a quality girlfriend and it was a rare commodity. I was not going to lose it over nothing. More importantly, I was not going to cheat. I was not going to betray, not only my girlfriend, but also myself and that just wasn't going to happen, not on my watch.
On both occasions, I was made stronger. I was put to the test and I was being judged where the odds were most against me. I was judged not by how I was in time of prosperity but in time of temptation and probable failure. Many such events similar to these 2 have happened to me in the past. These I find are the 2 worth the most notice on these boards. I can only hope that you can learn from them what I did. I can only hope that it makes you want to be better then yourself. To defy and beat yourself. If you can beat yourself, and this is from firsthand experience, than you can defeat anything. Some don't have the mental stength to do so, others just don't believe in such ways. Such words as "valor" and "honor" or "virtue" are all foreign words to them. Do you choose to ignore these words? Do you choose to give more worth to your life? Do you choose to make yourself a better person?
Some one on these boards once said (I'm sorry but I've searched and can't find the author) that we could say that personality is how a person is before others and character was who the person really was when no one was watching. Do you have good character?
I believe we all get desperate. Be it with women or with life in general, we all eventually want something really bad. When you get desperate, you lower your standards. In the end, you arn't happy because mentally, your choices didn't concur with your principles. We have all been there many times, admit it. How did you handle it? Everytime we go, we lower our standards and we arn't happy later on yet we don't learn our lesson. We keep falling prey to our desires. No more gentlemen, no more. Learn your lesson and accept defeat. The past however does not hold a grip on the outcome of the future. You can walk the same path or you can march along side me, on the higher road. The road to happiness.
Choose your path.
Lik