"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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This young woman has problems

051AV

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I've talked about her before I met her 2 years ago she was friendly enough she's married so I was friendly with her. Then she had a emotional break down life got too hard she left her job and disappeared, she cut me off of social media, WTF did I do. We live in the same community she never moved away, she just went nuts and became a recluse.

She's working in financial advisor place so now I see her on a fairly regular basis. Strange how she acts around me, shy and giggly, nervousness mixed in there. You were not like that when I first met you, it was lets be friends vibe. Now its I want to be with you, no thanks I'm not breaking up a marriage and getting involved with a chick with couple little ones. She would be a good fvck she's cute, has a nice body on her. A smart guy doesn't stick his **** into crazy it doesn't get you anywhere but trouble.

Women that haven't had a good father figure in her life sure screws up a woman, she's grew up with her non biological father. Seen her husband just recently never really seen him, he's not a big guy, I wouldn't get my ass kicked by him that's for sure lol.

Why do I seem to attract the broads with issues, its not like I'm looking for them? There's this other woman I've talked about she's divorced, she gives me the I want to be with you eyes. Not a chance your a single woman with kids. Sure she would be a good fvck as well but you have to pay the price of her getting clingy.

Interestingly my brother has the same problem attracting chicks with issues he's tells them to fvck off. Its frustrating, I look around and its I'm staying single, not worth the headaches getting involved with the available women.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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MoreThanSmooth

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Why do I seem to attract the broads with issues, its not like I'm looking for them? There's this other woman I've talked about she's divorced, she gives me the I want to be with you eyes. Not a chance your a single woman with kids. Sure she would be a good fvck as well but you have to pay the price of her getting clingy.
I asked a woman I knew this very same question once. In my case it's because I seem to attract hippie girls who love to do drugs, even though I hate drug abuse. I also attract women with sh*tty baggage from past relationships.

This girl told me it's because I'm easy going, relaxed and I tend to be understanding and open to talking about serious issues. That's good for building LTRs with quality girls, but it also means I have a tendency to attract damaged women too. Because they're craving the support I can give them emotionally.

So it's not necessarily a bad thing about you or anything like that. It's probably just you're building subconscious attraction with damaged people due to the best aspects of your personality.
 

wifehunter

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Its frustrating, I look around and its I'm staying single, not worth the headaches getting involved with the available women.
Yep, I rather be lonely, than with some toxic wench.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I've talked about her before I met her 2 years ago she was friendly enough she's married so I was friendly with her. Then she had a emotional break down life got too hard she left her job and disappeared, she cut me off of social media, WTF did I do. We live in the same community she never moved away, she just went nuts and became a recluse.

She's working in financial advisor place so now I see her on a fairly regular basis. Strange how she acts around me, shy and giggly, nervousness mixed in there. You were not like that when I first met you, it was lets be friends vibe. Now its I want to be with you, no thanks I'm not breaking up a marriage and getting involved with a chick with couple little ones. She would be a good fvck she's cute, has a nice body on her. A smart guy doesn't stick his **** into crazy it doesn't get you anywhere but trouble.

Women that haven't had a good father figure in her life sure screws up a woman, she's grew up with her non biological father. Seen her husband just recently never really seen him, he's not a big guy, I wouldn't get my ass kicked by him that's for sure lol.

Why do I seem to attract the broads with issues, its not like I'm looking for them? There's this other woman I've talked about she's divorced, she gives me the I want to be with you eyes. Not a chance your a single woman with kids. Sure she would be a good fvck as well but you have to pay the price of her getting clingy.

Interestingly my brother has the same problem attracting chicks with issues he's tells them to fvck off. Its frustrating, I look around and its I'm staying single, not worth the headaches getting involved with the available women.
I experienced quite a bit but I spin plates, I spam cold approach, and I recognize that pattern. Bar stars party girls, single moms, sluts, and *****s.

You are always sifting through it unless you are complacent and therefore, get what you deserve.

#nextset

Every solution is #next.

Low libido, next.

Not in the mood? Next her.

Spin plates. If it doesn't take, let it stop. Go get baes. Spin more. Cold approach.

It doesn't stop until d falls off or death.
 

051AV

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Pretty sure this young lady is trying to have her ego stroked she's turning 30, been married for 8 years or so, she's been with the same guy since she was in her 20s. She's probably not getting her ego stroked by her husband.

I've had a damaged woman meter installed in my brain after being with a BPD, I can sense fvcked up women fairly easily now, I could tell this woman has issues as I got to know her. Quite a few women I've come across they've had issues, there is lots out there with obvious issues, failed marriages, the ones that have rode the **** carousel.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Serenity

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I'm easy going, relaxed and I tend to be understanding and open to talking about serious issues.
That's just generally very attractive. You'll just see more damaged women because those have the highest amount in circulation (being single). I think this problem applies to any attractive guy, we all attract the damaged one's too.

Most of the women I wanted when I was single was those already taken, most of the women who wanted me was fvcked up in some way. It's like going to the grocery store and watching people pick fruits or vegetables, they pick the best one's first and leave the bad one's behind. The sexual marketplace isn't much different IMO, the best one's get picked and most of what's left is available for a reason.

I think this is a reason for the constant complaining about the sexual marketplace, how so many women are sh!t etc. It's not because most women are sh!t, but because most of the good ones aren't to be found in the marketplace. Guys don't see all the good ones when they're out sarging, because all the good ones are already cuddled up in some guys arms, not out looking for a guy. Guys mostly meet the ones who didn't get picked.

Your experience isn't unique to you or tied to some of your traits, it's just the nature of the sexual marketplace. If you're attractive you gotta be on guard.
 

resilient

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Solid analogy Grewd. I've been absent from the board for a while, however, I felt compelled to respond to this post.

A wise person once told me to "be a fruit detector". It was spoken in a different context, yet us DJs can take the wisdom in it to discern people all the same.

We can't fix the bad apples.

OP, I think she has chosen you because she recognizes your strong traits (and confidence). She's attracted to that natural leadership and wants to be directed by you, yet I use caution and pause here.

Much of the damaged past can be dealt with by the person, they just have to take personal responsibility and seek professional help... yet that takes the strong initiation of the person to do it and not be coerced/nagged, or otherwise.

Most often though, I've seen that dating through other guys are just band-aid distractions to them from treating the inner deep-seated issues that linger.

Continuing with the food analogy. It's like being a little kid in a candy store. The kid wants to go for the quick easy sugar fix, yet will scoff at given a healthier alternative with a higher nutritional value. The brain craves novelty and shortcuts... that gives the best and quickest dopamine release.

It takes a strong person to stand alone, go single for a while, and get help psychologically, mend, and put forth the best foot forward. People who fall prey to co-dependency or fall fast for others often haven't taken that important self-actualizing step necessary to become mentally healthier.
 

Visionist

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All women have baggage from previous relationships. Sometimes, that baggage is in the form of kids. Some women simply hide it better than others.

Most women have daddy issues too. They're the women who flip flop from one guy to the next, terrified at the idea of having No Man In Her Life. They cling to even mediocre men (jobless, druggies etc).
 

Desdinova

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Why do I seem to attract the broads with issues, its not like I'm looking for them?
You're not the problem here. The problem is the men these women chose to stay with. They became "Mr. Good Enough". Once they get comfortable in a relationship, they become boring. All it takes for these women to become attracted to a different man is for him to be more interesting than the men they're already with. If you've made yourself into an interesting, confident, attractive man, you're going to see this a lot. What you choose to do with your ability to lure women away from their boring BFs is up to you.
 

051AV

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You're not the problem here. The problem is the men these women chose to stay with. They became "Mr. Good Enough". Once they get comfortable in a relationship, they become boring. All it takes for these women to become attracted to a different man is for him to be more interesting than the men they're already with. If you've made yourself into an interesting, confident, attractive man, you're going to see this a lot. What you choose to do with your ability to lure women away from their boring BFs is up to you.
You are right about the "Mr Good Enough" I've seen it with women I know they are with guys that make me think to myself "really". The guy this girl I'm talking about married an average guy I wouldn't see him having women flocking to him.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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