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This woman I've met... nonsense/red flag behavior

TheFinalLine

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The more I date some women out there, the more I observe how things are really messed up. Like I use to say: "Behind the curtains exists the most dirty secrets."
If men could suddenly look into women’s minds and see the memory pictures they have of their sexual encounters, society as we know it would immediately revert with women out in the cold until they snapped to.
 

mrgoodstuff

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If men could suddenly look into women’s minds and see the memory pictures they have of their sexual encounters, society as we know it would immediately revert with women out in the cold until they snapped to.
Describe what we would see? Describe the roles and uses she has for each of the men in her life? Describe how much she cares? Describe what she tells herself? Describe how she sees these men?
 

Serenity

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I thougth: ok, she met me on a hotel for the first time, she had sex with me and slept there with me. And she didn't know me... Now she is telling that. It didn't make much sense for me...
Had similar situation (not the rest of it) before. Met a girl at a party, we made out and she seemed REALLY into me. She wanted me on Facebook because she had to leave early, nothing more happened that night. A couple days later I ask her out, but she's dodging it, fair enough, sometimes that happens.

A year later I randomly meet her at a bar, we stop to talk for a little while (no hard feelings) and she invites me to a party she's having two weeks from then. I make note of it and I come to the party, we talk a lot, make out and are having a good time. The rest of the party deteriorates into some sort of pathetic drama and most people leave. I'm left with this girl who's the host, spend the night, we fvck and she's loving it. She's awkward the next day, I am not really. Try to contact her a couple days later and she tells me she wouldn't be comfortable alone with me even in a public place. I try to convince her in about 5 more back and forth texts before I just give up and move on.

Yeah, what the fvck is that?! I was at her house, naked in bed for an entire night, having sex and she's "uncomfortable" meeting me again? It truly doesn't make sense.

Now, I do suspect she just wasn't interested in anything beyond a ONS and I would prefer she told me that rather than serve me nonsense.

Also, regarding meeting parents after a first date, it would be a hard pass for me too. You could have flipped the script on that, told her you don't know her well enough to meet her parents. She sounds crazy though, you made the right choice.
 

Blacksheep

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Had similar situation (not the rest of it) before. Met a girl at a party, we made out and she seemed REALLY into me. She wanted me on Facebook because she had to leave early, nothing more happened that night. A couple days later I ask her out, but she's dodging it, fair enough, sometimes that happens.

A year later I randomly meet her at a bar, we stop to talk for a little while (no hard feelings) and she invites me to a party she's having two weeks from then. I make note of it and I come to the party, we talk a lot, make out and are having a good time. The rest of the party deteriorates into some sort of pathetic drama and most people leave. I'm left with this girl who's the host, spend the night, we fvck and she's loving it. She's awkward the next day, I am not really. Try to contact her a couple days later and she tells me she wouldn't be comfortable alone with me even in a public place. I try to convince her in about 5 more back and forth texts before I just give up and move on.

Yeah, what the fvck is that?! I was at her house, naked in bed for an entire night, having sex and she's "uncomfortable" meeting me again? It truly doesn't make sense.

Now, I do suspect she just wasn't interested in anything beyond a ONS and I would prefer she told me that rather than serve me nonsense.

Also, regarding meeting parents after a first date, it would be a hard pass for me too. You could have flipped the script on that, told her you don't know her well enough to meet her parents. She sounds crazy though, you made the right choice.
Thats weird man. I dont understand so well why they do such drama and games... But it was not necessary.

Maybe its a way to get out something without feeling guilty.
 

LARaiders85

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So I met a woman from a city that is 1 hour from here. We talked, I went to this city, got a hotel... She met me there, we had sex after 5 min of talk... then go out to a restaurant and she slept there with me. Ok, very good until now.

Then, I told her that she should come to my town next time, she could stay at my place... As I went there the first time. She told me ok... After that, she texted me telling me that she wanted me to go there again before she comes, cause she wanted to present me to their parent. I told her I wasnt comfortable doing that... And as I went there the first time, it would be good if she come now.

Some days passed... She decided that she would come this next weekens... BUT, aftera few days she told me: "I'm affraid of coming there, I don't even know you right... and I would be in your home and you can do something to me."

I thougth: ok, she met me on a hotel for the first time, she had sex with me and slept there with me. And she didn't know me... Now she is telling that. It didn't make much sense for me... But I realized that in somehow she wanted to desperate present myself to her parents (even telling me that she didn't know me so much)... Okay girl, you say that you don't know me and is affraid... but you want to bring this guy you don't know to your parents house so they can meet me? This is pure crap.

I told her that this is totally nonsense, and why she would bring me to her parents house if she said that... and told that for me it was another thing... like a excuse to don't come or maybe she found another guy out there and wanted a reason to leave. And said: "If you don't wanna come, just dont come... no need for all this story."

She got pissed off... called me selfish and that she was scared with my reaction to this. And started to spread negative words toward me. Then I said: "Ok, if you have such concept about me, and I'm such a bad guy... Why you're still here talking to me?" And then we stopped texting.

Next day: she called me, telling that she doesnt want to lose what we had, she would relevate that and forgive me this time. But both would have to make concessions for this to work... LOL.

I said that I understood her, that my intent wasn't be selfish... That I was just transparent with what I felt and had no reason to not tell that.

Then she said that if I want to be with her, I would have to go there meet her parents, and the first time she would come to my town, she would bring her parents!!!! (WTF?)

I again told that I would not do this... that I wasn't comfortable with that... That if she come here next time, I could go there the next.

So she took 1 day to answer and told: "Better we stop this, because I had a relationship like that... and my ex always tried to impose stuffs just like you are doing... and this is abusive. Better we stop that."

I just replied: "Yes, thats better. Its just interesting how you tell me I'm imposing something to you... but in reality you imposed something and start to play around that and got really mad at any no I told you. Just because I said I didn't want to do that."

And just blocked her.
The Wall isn't looks primarily, it's the ever increasing level of baggage they drag with them to every new encounter with men.
 

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Serenity

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Thats weird man. I dont understand so well why they do such drama and games... But it was not necessary.

Maybe its a way to get out something without feeling guilty.
I didn't sense she was being dramatic really, probably just afraid of being honest about "rejecting" me. I know many women have had bad experiences with some "nice guys" totally losing their sh!t when told no, so they start making excuses instead of being upfront. I get why some women are so indirect, especially if they're a bit shy and non-confrontational as she was.

In person she was a really chill girl, only her friends were crazy. With the exception of her best friend, she was cool too.
 

Blacksheep

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I didn't sense she was being dramatic really, probably just afraid of being honest about "rejecting" me. I know many women have had bad experiences with some "nice guys" totally losing their sh!t when told no, so they start making excuses instead of being upfront. I get why some women are so indirect, especially if they're a bit shy and non-confrontational as she was.

In person she was a really chill girl, only her friends were crazy. With the exception of her best friend, she was cool too.
Thats interesting man! And it seems a good strategy from preventing a crazy "nice guy" getting crazy.

There is a lot of guys that act like a psycho when a woman break up with him. So, its a useful tatic to prevent it.
 

Suave88

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So I met a woman from a city that is 1 hour from here. We talked, I went to this city, got a hotel... She met me there, we had sex after 5 min of talk... then go out to a restaurant and she slept there with me. Ok, very good until now.

Then, I told her that she should come to my town next time, she could stay at my place... As I went there the first time. She told me ok... After that, she texted me telling me that she wanted me to go there again before she comes, cause she wanted to present me to their parent. I told her I wasnt comfortable doing that... And as I went there the first time, it would be good if she come now.

Some days passed... She decided that she would come this next weekens... BUT, aftera few days she told me: "I'm affraid of coming there, I don't even know you right... and I would be in your home and you can do something to me."

I thougth: ok, she met me on a hotel for the first time, she had sex with me and slept there with me. And she didn't know me... Now she is telling that. It didn't make much sense for me... But I realized that in somehow she wanted to desperate present myself to her parents (even telling me that she didn't know me so much)... Okay girl, you say that you don't know me and is affraid... but you want to bring this guy you don't know to your parents house so they can meet me? This is pure crap.

I told her that this is totally nonsense, and why she would bring me to her parents house if she said that... and told that for me it was another thing... like a excuse to don't come or maybe she found another guy out there and wanted a reason to leave. And said: "If you don't wanna come, just dont come... no need for all this story."

She got pissed off... called me selfish and that she was scared with my reaction to this. And started to spread negative words toward me. Then I said: "Ok, if you have such concept about me, and I'm such a bad guy... Why you're still here talking to me?" And then we stopped texting.

Next day: she called me, telling that she doesnt want to lose what we had, she would relevate that and forgive me this time. But both would have to make concessions for this to work... LOL.

I said that I understood her, that my intent wasn't be selfish... That I was just transparent with what I felt and had no reason to not tell that.

Then she said that if I want to be with her, I would have to go there meet her parents, and the first time she would come to my town, she would bring her parents!!!! (WTF?)

I again told that I would not do this... that I wasn't comfortable with that... That if she come here next time, I could go there the next.

So she took 1 day to answer and told: "Better we stop this, because I had a relationship like that... and my ex always tried to impose stuffs just like you are doing... and this is abusive. Better we stop that."

I just replied: "Yes, thats better. Its just interesting how you tell me I'm imposing something to you... but in reality you imposed something and start to play around that and got really mad at any no I told you. Just because I said I didn't want to do that."

And just blocked her.
I have met women this kind. Any way.... The first indication of a manipulative person is when that same person accuses you of being manipulative.
 

Blacksheep

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I have met women this kind. Any way.... The first indication of a manipulative person is when that same person accuses you of being manipulative.
Yep, I also lived that with my parents... When someone accuses you and try to put you down all the time, it's a big red flag that something is not right with that relationship.

Better stay away from that.

When someone have a healthy attitude towards you... Even to tell you something difficult, he/she does not tell that on a negative way like accusing or trying to make you feel guilty.

This is something Buddhism teaches on the eightfold path... Having the right speech. Or, use your words carefully and on a ethical way.
 

Mauser96

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So I met a woman from a city that is 1 hour from here. We talked, I went to this city, got a hotel... She met me there, we had sex after 5 min of talk... then go out to a restaurant and she slept there with me. Ok, very good until now.

Then, I told her that she should come to my town next time, she could stay at my place... As I went there the first time. She told me ok... After that, she texted me telling me that she wanted me to go there again before she comes, cause she wanted to present me to their parent. I told her I wasnt comfortable doing that... And as I went there the first time, it would be good if she come now.

Some days passed... She decided that she would come this next weekens... BUT, aftera few days she told me: "I'm affraid of coming there, I don't even know you right... and I would be in your home and you can do something to me."

I thougth: ok, she met me on a hotel for the first time, she had sex with me and slept there with me. And she didn't know me... Now she is telling that. It didn't make much sense for me... But I realized that in somehow she wanted to desperate present myself to her parents (even telling me that she didn't know me so much)... Okay girl, you say that you don't know me and is affraid... but you want to bring this guy you don't know to your parents house so they can meet me? This is pure crap.

I told her that this is totally nonsense, and why she would bring me to her parents house if she said that... and told that for me it was another thing... like a excuse to don't come or maybe she found another guy out there and wanted a reason to leave. And said: "If you don't wanna come, just dont come... no need for all this story."

She got pissed off... called me selfish and that she was scared with my reaction to this. And started to spread negative words toward me. Then I said: "Ok, if you have such concept about me, and I'm such a bad guy... Why you're still here talking to me?" And then we stopped texting.

Next day: she called me, telling that she doesnt want to lose what we had, she would relevate that and forgive me this time. But both would have to make concessions for this to work... LOL.

I said that I understood her, that my intent wasn't be selfish... That I was just transparent with what I felt and had no reason to not tell that.

Then she said that if I want to be with her, I would have to go there meet her parents, and the first time she would come to my town, she would bring her parents!!!! (WTF?)

I again told that I would not do this... that I wasn't comfortable with that... That if she come here next time, I could go there the next.

So she took 1 day to answer and told: "Better we stop this, because I had a relationship like that... and my ex always tried to impose stuffs just like you are doing... and this is abusive. Better we stop that."

I just replied: "Yes, thats better. Its just interesting how you tell me I'm imposing something to you... but in reality you imposed something and start to play around that and got really mad at any no I told you. Just because I said I didn't want to do that."

And just blocked her.
Let me guess? You met her on an online dating site?
 

Blacksheep

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Let me guess? You met her on an online dating site?
How do you know that man? haha

Unfortunately yes... I'm stopping using those apps... My dates when I met someone direct on instagram or in person and the girl do not use Tinder, those are the best dates I have.
 

Blacksheep

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Oh. Woman met you to fck and then you went afc she joked with her parents blah blah blah. Find another woman and keep it spinning 2020
Thats what I did... After that, she started calling me from a different number. Said she was sorry about that and that she would come.

But, too late. With that mentality I cannot allow her to know where I live and actually come to my place. Idk what kind of crazy sh1t she can do here.

Have another better plates for now.
 

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Mauser96

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How do you know that man? haha

Unfortunately yes... I'm stopping using those apps... My dates when I met someone direct on instagram or in person and the girl do not use Tinder, those are the best dates I have.
Because 99% of women on there are nutjobs, that's how I know.
 

Blacksheep

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So the problem is that she DOES want to have sex with you? I don't get it.
No, this one wanted to present me to their parents on the second date... I told i didnt want that... That she should come to my town in the next date.

And she get crazy and say a lot of nonsense stuffs... But I realized she was testing me or playing some game.

We had sex on a hotel in the first date, she slept there with me.
 

bat soup

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No, this one wanted to present me to their parents on the second date... I told i didnt want that... That she should come to my town in the next date.

And she get crazy and say a lot of nonsense stuffs... But I realized she was testing me or playing some game.

We had sex on a hotel in the first date, she slept there with me.

It's pretty weird, but at least she left the BS until after you had sex. I'd tell her it's a bit early for that.
 
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