"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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This sucks, wtf!

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Love_Games?!?

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I'm really not sure what to do anymore guys. I've just recently got into the whole sex scene. Basically for the first few times with this girl I was having trouble getting and maintaining a hard on with her. I went to the doctor and was prescribed Viagra. He informed me it was performance anxiety and that after using it a few times I would be good to go.

Well I took the Viagra and it seemed to be working. So we began... however after about 30-40 minutes we both kinda gave up... for some reason I couldn't get off in her. This drove me crazy because she immediately got upset and started thinking that I was not attracted to her.

Now just last night, another girl came over to my spot and we began fooling around. Same issue... had an erection but then I could feel it starting to fade so I popped a 50mg Viagra pill. However this time nothing... I'm not sure if I didn't wait long enough but this is getting ridiculous. I was drinking that night, but it wasn't excessive.

What the hell am I going to do guys, this is really killing me. I'm starting to become more afraid of sex because of the let downs its causing me.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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hover411

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worrying is only going to make it worse.

it is performance anxiety.

you are so worried about putting on a good show, that you sabotage yourself. if you could just relax and enjoy the moment, you would be fine.
 
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Love_Games?!?

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I realize its all in my head, but relaxing is much easier said then done. Considering this has happened around 5 times its so hard not to think about it happening.

That's the main reason I went to the doctor for Viagra. I tried to stop thinking about it and just have fun and I wasn't able to do it.
 
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Deadly_Ripped

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Maybe you should just talk with this girl and tell her "let's not have sex right away" and then you won't be all worried about it. Then you can get comfortable around her, and once you're comfortable with her the two of you can do it like they do on the Discovery channel.

Take it slower, because clearly it's stressing you out big time. Have fun! With no pressure to HAVE SEX AND KEEP IT HARD, you'll probably get far more into it than before.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Warrior74

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Love_Games?!? said:
bump... really could use some advice
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you've been given advice, now go use it. Stop looking for a magic answer to all of your problems. If that doesn't work, consult a sex therapist.
 
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thecurtainfalls

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I had performance anxiety the first 5-10 times or so that I had sex, had many of the same panicky thoughts you do.

You probably don't even need the meds. Just get some more experience under your belt (LOL) and you'll be good to go. Eventually you're less shocked that you're having sex and more just concerned about blasting a two-roper across her chest.
 
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