This site vs reality

[BeTheChange]

No strong opinion but looking around I don’t see too much of this singles epidemic, which is lauded as evidence of the end times amongst many posters here.

I work in a team of 10 and we were all discussing our plans for Valentines. Turns out I’m the only one who’s single. I don’t see this as a bad thing but was surprised.

Here’s my team’s breakdown:

HB 5 girl – Early 30s, married, kids

HB 4 girl – Early 30s, boyfriend

HB 5 girl – mid 20s, boyfriend

HB 7 girl – mid 20s, live in boyfriend

7 guy – early 20s (gf works in another team and is at least 32!)

7 guy – late 20s, girlfriend

6 guy – late 30s, married, kids

6 guy – early 40s, married

6 guy – early 30s, girlfriend


Also amongst my close friends (particularly those with good careers) 9 out of 10 are either in LTRs. Practically all of my male friends are in the 7 – 8 category with one or two 9s. All of them are with women who are one or two points below them in current / projected SMV. Many are married or engaged. It’s very likely I’d still be in an LTR if I had had a more well adjusted personality in the past. However I'm one of the few people I know who isn't willing to LTR anyone "beneath" them.

It seems perhaps the epidemic of MGTOW and incel men is blown out of proportion on this site – those without success prefer to imagine things are just that way for everyone, rather than looking at their own deficiencies and shortcomings. Something to think about.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Its better to be off social media and sites like these and actually living.

 

[lamath]

No strong opinion but looking around I don’t see too much of this singles epidemic, which is lauded as evidence of the end times amongst many posters here.

I work in a team of 10 and we were all discussing our plans for Valentines. Turns out I’m the only one who’s single. I don’t see this as a bad thing but was surprised.

Here’s my team’s breakdown:

HB 5 girl – Early 30s, married, kids

HB 4 girl – Early 30s, boyfriend

HB 5 girl – mid 20s, boyfriend

HB 7 girl – mid 20s, live in boyfriend

7 guy – early 20s (gf works in another team and is at least 32!)

7 guy – late 20s, girlfriend

6 guy – late 30s, married, kids

6 guy – early 40s, married

6 guy – early 30s, girlfriend


Also amongst my close friends (particularly those with good careers) 9 out of 10 are either in LTRs. Practically all of my male friends are in the 7 – 8 category with one or two 9s. All of them are with women who are one or two points below them in current / projected SMV. Many are married or engaged. It’s very likely I’d still be in an LTR if I had had a more well adjusted personality in the past. However I'm one of the few people I know who isn't willing to LTR anyone "beneath" them.

It seems perhaps the epidemic of MGTOW and incel men is blown out of proportion on this site – those without success prefer to imagine things are just that way for everyone, rather than looking at their own deficiencies and shortcomings. Something to think about.

I have seen the same thing in my age group id say 15% single. The single one are either super low smv or recently seperated like me.

I also thing that your sample size from work might not be representative of the reality, depending of the type of work it is.
From what ive notice most educated professional usualy are more serious about relationship.


Younger 30 and below its where it look like most ppl can stay in a ltr, maybe a generation thing idk.

 

[Serenity]

It seems perhaps the epidemic of MGTOW and incel men is blown out of proportion on this site – those without success prefer to imagine things are just that way for everyone, rather than looking at their own deficiencies and shortcomings. Something to think about.

It is exaggerated. Many people in general fail to actually see reality, what they think of as reality is their immediate environment, the people surrounding them. Not the thousands of ordinary people walking around on the streets, holding hands and obviously not being single. But these people usually don't hang around at places where singles are concentrated, couples usually have other activities. So for the singles who hang around tons of other singles it seems like there's so many single people that they falsely assume that's how the world is in general, it is not.

I'm also noting that grandiose delusions is also running pretty rampant in red pill and MGTOW communities. They think they're the 1% of men who get it, that the vast majority is a bunch of spineless betas. Like they have some secret insider knowledge that makes them special. This is an easy trap to fall into for a guy who used to be the loser, who didn't previously have much of a sense of self-worth. It's over-compensation, inflating their own ego and pretending to be better than everyone else.

I think most people are happy in their relationships. Maybe you or anyone in this community doesn't think their girlfriends or wives are good looking enough for a particular guy, but maybe they don't give as much of a sh!t about the looks as you or they do. Maybe these women who are "beneath" their men have qualities that makes them not as much beneath after all, qualities that aren't apparent unless you're the husband/boyfriend.

This forum would most likely not rate my GF high from pictures. She's not ugly, but she's not a model either. She's attractive to me though and I don't give a fvck what other guys think, just can't be bothered to impress the bois. What would I gain from that? Respect? The fvck is that worth? But impressing other men is what it is about for many men, although few would admit it, why this is so is beyond me, there's nothing in it. She's got qualities that MGTOW and red pillers just seem incapable of finding, maybe because no woman is ever good enough for them. They focus on the negative, they actively look for things that are wrong with a woman and are somehow proud to find the flaws. Which they will find, because fvcking nobody is flawless.

 

[BeTheChange]

I have seen the same thing in my age group id say 15% single. The single one are either super low smv or recently seperated like me.

I also thing that your sample size from work might not be representative of the reality, depending of the type of work it is.
From what ive notice most educated professional usualy are more serious about relationship.


Younger 30 and below its where it look like most ppl can stay in a ltr, maybe a generation thing idk.

Yeah. I'm 30 now and 1 in 10 single sounds about right. It actually takes a tremendous amount of willpower not to just fall in line and settle with the nearest decent piece of ass that shows interest when all your friends, social and professional circles are pairing up like they've got tickets to Noah's Ark.

I am dating a girl (HB7) for over four months who I know is below my potential. My greatest fear is that in 6 months I will settle for exclusivity because I am working so much and have so little time to game. Thankfully I don't see that happening.

I think most men/women in my demographic (degree educated, middle to upper middle class, professionals) are comfortably in LTRs or looking for LTRs by their mid 20s and certainly by 30.

The singles epidemic (if there even is one) is amongst the lower classes, ghetto communities and to a lesser degree amonst old/ extremely highly educated women. Everyone else seems to be doing just fine.

In fairness to the "market" crowd, I don't see too many HB8s+ settling down and this is a different game altogether. If you want stability with a HB8, then yes you probably need to be a 9 and that's not easy. But for your typical HB7 and below I don't think it's so hard to find a relationship.

 

[lamath]

I think most people are happy in their relationships. Maybe you or anyone in this community doesn't think their girlfriends or wives are good looking enough for a particular guy, but maybe they don't give as much of a sh!t about the looks as you or they do. Maybe these women who are "beneath" their men have qualities that makes them not as much beneath after all, qualities that aren't apparent unless you're the husband/boyfriend.
.

Well said.
Sex and look is good but there is more than that , otherwise most ppl would just use prostitute.

 

[jaymbrs]

This is a site to help guys obtain women, get over a woman or how to deal with a situation with a woman. This isn't a site for guys who are happily involved in LTRs.

 

[BeExcellent]

It’s been my observation and also my own experience that if people are desirable they have choices. Furthermore sought after people pair off with other people who offer some kind of value and who they personally desire. Most people at the end of the day, even widely desirable people, would prefer a rewarding relationship rather than a rotation of randoms.

It is common for desirable people to pair off early in life...and if those people come back on the market again later for some reason (death or divorce or breakup) they are still desirable. I see this with both women and men. I don’t see an appreciable decline in womens’ choices among single women I know personally but I’m in an area where people take fitness and keeping up looks seriously so my friends are all trim, fit, pretty & successful. None of us are having issues meeting good men although several of the gals I hang with really are focused on children & career as a higher priority than dating.

So I’d agree with BTC. We have to know the community has a bias around here. Everyone designs their own life to their own satisfaction and that may or may not line up with what is seen and heard about on SS.

 

[Serenity]

This is a site to help guys obtain women, get over a woman or how to deal with a situation with a woman. This isn't a site for guys who are happily involved in LTRs.

K, then. I'll fvck right off then and take with me my experience and knowledge that lead to me successfully getting over, getting and dealing with a woman...


Seriously though, I came here to become happily involved in a LTR, I stayed to help out whoever else might have the same interest. Without us (I'm by far not the only guy here in a LTR) this place would be a massive circlejerk of incels validating each others views of how sh!tty the world is and how they have no chance.

 

[lamath]

K, then. I'll fvck right off then and take with me my experience and knowledge that lead to me successfully getting over, getting and dealing with a woman...


Seriously though, I came here to become happily involved in a LTR, I stayed to help out whoever else might have the same interest. Without us (I'm by far not the only guy here in a LTR) this place would be a massive circlejerk of incels validating each others views of how sh!tty the world is and how they have no chance.

Lots of bitterness and bad experiences that is why people come here.
I've learn lots of hard truth here and it does help me see some situation for what they really are.
However advise are often on the extreme side and not always calibrated to the situation.

 

[Dash Riprock]

No strong opinion but looking around I don’t see too much of this singles epidemic, which is lauded as evidence of the end times amongst many posters here.

I work in a team of 10 and we were all discussing our plans for Valentines. Turns out I’m the only one who’s single. I don’t see this as a bad thing but was surprised.

Here’s my team’s breakdown:

HB 5 girl – Early 30s, married, kids

HB 4 girl – Early 30s, boyfriend

HB 5 girl – mid 20s, boyfriend

HB 7 girl – mid 20s, live in boyfriend

7 guy – early 20s (gf works in another team and is at least 32!)

7 guy – late 20s, girlfriend

6 guy – late 30s, married, kids

6 guy – early 40s, married

6 guy – early 30s, girlfriend


Also amongst my close friends (particularly those with good careers) 9 out of 10 are either in LTRs. Practically all of my male friends are in the 7 – 8 category with one or two 9s. All of them are with women who are one or two points below them in current / projected SMV. Many are married or engaged. It’s very likely I’d still be in an LTR if I had had a more well adjusted personality in the past. However I'm one of the few people I know who isn't willing to LTR anyone "beneath" them.

It seems perhaps the epidemic of MGTOW and incel men is blown out of proportion on this site – those without success prefer to imagine things are just that way for everyone, rather than looking at their own deficiencies and shortcomings. Something to think about.

Come back and report again on the same group in 90 days.

My guess is at least 30-50% of the non-married people will be with different people or single again. I bet for the married people in your group, 50% regret it or are at least "unhappy" based on unrealistic quasi-Disney expectations most young couples have (but probably wouldn't admit).

Some people may be lying too because to be seen as single on Valentines has a strong negative connotation especially for women.

I posted a few days ago about the Paradox of Choice and I'm convinced it's the demon and downfall of relationships and especially OLD today.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Come back and report again on the same group in 90 days.

My guess is at least 30-50% of the non-married people will be with different people or single again. I bet for the married people in your group, 50% regret it or are at least "unhappy" based on unrealistic quasi-Disney expectations most young couples have (but probably wouldn't admit).

Some people may be lying too because to be seen as single on Valentines has a strong negative connotation especially for women.

I posted a few days ago about the Paradox of Choice and I'm convinced it's the demon and downfall of relationships and especially OLD today.

Yeah and then ask all them about their sex lives ... they prolly have sex more with their phone in 1080p than they do with their wives.

 

[Trump]

It seems perhaps the epidemic of MGTOW and incel men is blown out of proportion on this site – those without success prefer to imagine things are just that way for everyone, rather than looking at their own deficiencies and shortcomings.

I think you are confusing the issues.

Being in a relationship or being married with a HB 7 or higher should not considered a “success”. But society is desperately trying to make men believe it so because soceity benefits from men believing it.

Hollywood -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl
Music -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl
Magazines -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl
Tv -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl

Sacrificing your mental and physical health for constant access to a (hot) women’s body is very beneficial for the rich and powerful, they make a lot of money this way and keep their power. As a result, all of society’s messages promote it.

Because all your friends are married doesn’t mean they are living it up behind the scenes. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors. You don’t know what their wives are like when no one is watching. All you think about is they are having passionate sex with the hot wife begging to get pregnant by him.

This site has never said don’t get into a loving committed deep passionate relationship with a good looking young girl.

This site has said don’t get into a loving committed deep passionate relationship with a good looking young girl at the expense of your own emotional, mental and physical well being.

Be strong men.

 

[RickTheToad]

Come back and report again on the same group in 90 days.

My guess is at least 30-50% of the non-married people will be with different people or single again. I bet for the married people in your group, 50% regret it or are at least "unhappy" based on unrealistic quasi-Disney expectations most young couples have (but probably wouldn't admit).

Some people may be lying too because to be seen as single on Valentines has a strong negative connotation especially for women.

I posted a few days ago about the Paradox of Choice and I'm convinced it's the demon and downfall of relationships and especially OLD today.

Going to have to agree. There was even a study done on this by OKCupid. Around the 3 month mark, after the summer, after the New Year the ladies revaluate their relationships, mostly due to boredom. The men who chase do not have a chance. The one's who walk away, options or not, are the ones who can reestablish the relationship at a later date if/when they start missing you. Then again, only a fool takes the garbage back into his house after he's placed it on the curb.

Relationships used to last longer prior to the swiping generation. Tinder changed all of that. Ladies can now have a new man in a matter of minutes due to these dating apps. Some men can do the same. The apps have not helped relationships, they've hurt them. That's fine in your teens and early 30's, but most men, on SS or not, do not want to continue a rotation of ladies into their 40's, 50's and beyond. Even the founder of Tinder and Bumble didn't use an app to find her current husband. Who knows, maybe she'll use it to find her next one. Great for instant sex with hoes and thots, but not so good for building a LTR. Just my opinion.

 

[RickTheToad]

Some people may be lying too because to be seen as single on Valentines has a strong negative connotation especially for women.

Two ladies I am in contact with wanted to meet up, just not on VD. A day before, a day after, the weekend, etc. I went rock climbing in New Rochelle. I guess they went c*ck climbing. Funny sh!t.

 

[RickTheToad]

I think you are confusing the issues.

Being in a relationship or being married with a HB 7 or higher should not considered a “success”. But society is desperately trying to make men believe it so because soceity benefits from men believing it.

Hollywood -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl
Music -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl
Magazines -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl
Tv -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl

Sacrificing your mental and physical health for constant access to a (hot) women’s body is very beneficial for the rich and powerful, they make a lot of money this way and keep their power. As a result, all of society’s messages promote it.

Because all your friends are married doesn’t mean they are living it up behind the scenes. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors. You don’t know what their wives are like when no one is watching. All you think about is they are having passionate sex with the hot wife begging to get pregnant by him.

This site has never said don’t get into a loving committed deep passionate relationship with a good looking young girl.

This site has said don’t get into a loving committed deep passionate relationship with a good looking young girl at your own emotional, mental and physical well being.

Be strong men.

I'll be honest, I'd rather have the money and power over one of the hottest ladies in the world. Chances are, statistically speaking of course, the money and even the power would last longer my time with the lady.

 

[samspade]

I think you are confusing the issues.

Being in a relationship or being married with a HB 7 or higher should not considered a “success”.

I agree that it shouldn't be, necessarily. But it also shouldn't NOT be. If that makes sense.

Some men want to marry a woman and possibly raise kids, and therefore if they're doing that and doing it well, they're a success. That is to say, if they're doing what they want and how they want, that's great for them.

But you're right, speaking strictly objectively, having a hot wife doesn't mean squat. Having a wife at all doesn't mean squat.

Only the individual knows for sure if he's happy and being true to himself. The trap a lot of sosuavers fall into is thinking someone else is losing at life because he didn't choose to spin plates until age 50. (You didn't say that, just a generalization.)

I personally agree with @Grewd and I know when I'm being true to myself and when I'm not. I don't care if other guys or girls think anyone I'm dating is hot as long as I'm getting the boner.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I'll be honest, I'd rather have the money and power over one of the hottest ladies in the world. Chances are, statistically speaking of course, the money and even the power would last longer my time with the lady.

True. Just ask Jeff Bezos. His mistress, BTW, was/is a 11/10.

 

[BeTheChange]

I think you are confusing the issues.

Being in a relationship or being married with a HB 7 or higher should not considered a “success”. But society is desperately trying to make men believe it so because soceity benefits from men believing it.

Hollywood -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl
Music -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl
Magazines -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl
Tv -> sacrifice yourself for the hot girl

Sacrificing your mental and physical health for constant access to a (hot) women’s body is very beneficial for the rich and powerful, they make a lot of money this way and keep their power. As a result, all of society’s messages promote it.

Because all your friends are married doesn’t mean they are living it up behind the scenes. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors. You don’t know what their wives are like when no one is watching. All you think about is they are having passionate sex with the hot wife begging to get pregnant by him.

This site has never said don’t get into a loving committed deep passionate relationship with a good looking young girl.

This site has said don’t get into a loving committed deep passionate relationship with a good looking young girl at the expense of your own emotional, mental and physical well being.

Be strong men.

Lol ok bro. You are attacking argument I'm not even making. But whatever makes you sleep at night

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

It seems perhaps the epidemic of MGTOW and incel men is blown out of proportion on this site – those without success prefer to imagine things are just that way for everyone, rather than looking at their own deficiencies and shortcomings. Something to think about.

Could be one drawback of the highly connected. I read (can't remember where) some study that showed once you go down ANY rabbit hole, predictive search algorithms will keep you showing that same content.

The example was that white kid who shot up a black church. They experimented a bunch of times, and all you really need to do is type in ONE search query, click on it, and google/facebook/youtube will keep showing you similar content.

A guy hears MGTOW once, types it in and that that becomes the majority of content he finds on social media, giving him a very SKEWED version of reality.

Nobody ACTIVELY searches for evidence to contract their confirmation bias, especially when it allows to flip a negative (I suck with women) into a positive (I'm enlightened and red pilled).