This site has rejuvenated my manly confidence

[MoreThanSmooth]

Non-dating post.

I've been out of the office for a couple of months working at home, basically just slightly less time than I've been posting and chatting with guys on here.

I think my work environment (and let's face it, many work environments nowadays) is just very ultra-ultra liberal, touchy-feely and b*tchy. No physical confrontation, no raised voices, tons of passive aggression and backbiting. Excessively "feminised" in a way, for want of a better way of putting it.

It was starting to rub off on me a lot and I was incredibly frustrated, without even realising. I'm single and I really don't have many manly, heterosexual friends to just talk about manly, heterosexual man stuff with. Combined with my sterilised clinical work environment I was becoming far more passive and non-confrontational than I realised.

I was turning into a eunuch.

Going back the other week, I felt an immediate change in my confidence and masculinity levels that was pretty awesome actually, just based on having good chats on here with some decent guys. Even giving advice to others has made me realise that I haven't been addressing things the way my natural "man instincts" tell me I should.

I'd been letting people push me around, sat around listening to BS all day, invited to gossip etc. etc.

This time around though, I just excused myself at lunch when I was bored stiff of the b*tchy BS. I just ignored the topics I found tedious asf because I don't have time for it. Walked off when the gossip started.

I no longer take s***, I no longer give a f*** about asking for dates, I just work hard and do whatever else I want. It feels great.

TLDR:

So I guess basically I'm saying: don't let your passive aggressive, air-freshened white collar workplace emasculate you. I did and it sucked.

I think this site is a great sanity refuge for manliness, it's like a non-destructive non-insane more mild Fight Club. Thanks lads

 

[Murk]

Yes it's a great site, I found it in the summer and my first thread was when my ex went to ibiza and I was getting paranoid, I think marmel ripped me to shreds as he often likes to do and I realised this place had a lot of red pill to offer. It's great for no nonsense advice, but you can't be defensive, if guys are calling out your behaviour then you're probably doing something wrong, embrace the wisdom, I've taken lots of great advice from here and plan to stick around for a long time.

 

[ExoticOne]

While we're on this topic, can you guys please help suggest me something for inner game?

My confidence, my mental state, all have taken a DEEP huge blow, knowing that I'm at a very low level right now, no friends no girls, hardly some money, I'll be honest, I'm lost as ****... I know money and all that don't matter, but what can I offer a girl right now except for my company and an invite to my crib lol

 

[Spaz]

That sentence, " i was turning into an eunuch " is hilarious.

Good post.

I seriously think a man must go back to the jungle, preferably alone, hunt, camp a night or 2 at least once a year to get in touch with himself.

Ur male mojo will be rejuvenated after a night or 2.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

While we're on this topic, can you guys please help suggest me something for inner game?

My confidence, my mental state, all have taken a DEEP huge blow, knowing that I'm at a very low level right now, no friends no girls, hardly some money, I'll be honest, I'm lost as ****... I know money and all that don't matter, but what can I offer a girl right now except for my company and an invite to my crib lol

If you're feeling low like this step 1 is getting a handle on yourself before you start thinking about girls etc.

What's your fitness level like? A good way to build core confidence is to hit the gym, so before you even start thinking about cash/girls/owning a yacht/whatever, go to the gym and get yourself to the point where you feel like you look good regardless of what you're wearing.

Secondly, I'd get some new hobbies or interests, or develop ones you already have. You'll meet new friends if you pick a social hobby, and if you also have a more introverted hobby you can relax and you won't miss having a GF or whatever.

Thirdly is career. Are you happy with your career? If not, what can you do about it? Be proactive about it and you'll feel better.

IMO money, girls, friends, material possessions...all that stuff is peripheral. It's a booster when you have it, but it doesn't count for a lot if you feel like s*** about yourself. And it's all interchangable - a girl you think you love this week might be nothing to you next week. You might be rich this year and poor the next. Maybe you'll be really into playing football this month and be fed up with it next month.

The only constant in all this is you.

Before you do anything at all, make sure you're happy with yourself.

(Personally atm my body is a great source of irritation for me. I'm muscular but have stubborn belly fat that I've not got round to getting rid of. It may sound silly but that is literally priority one for me right now, before anything else. Purely so I can feel good about me before I start looking at the stuff on the fringes of my life).

 

[ExoticOne]

If you're feeling low like this step 1 is getting a handle on yourself before you start thinking about girls etc.

What's your fitness level like? A good way to build core confidence is to hit the gym, so before you even start thinking about cash/girls/owning a yacht/whatever, go to the gym and get yourself to the point where you feel like you look good regardless of what you're wearing.

Secondly, I'd get some new hobbies or interests, or develop ones you already have. You'll meet new friends if you pick a social hobby, and if you also have a more introverted hobby you can relax and you won't miss having a GF or whatever.

Thirdly is career. Are you happy with your career? If not, what can you do about it? Be proactive about it and you'll feel better.

IMO money, girls, friends, material possessions...all that stuff is peripheral. It's a booster when you have it, but it doesn't count for a lot if you feel like s*** about yourself. And it's all interchangable - a girl you think you love this week might be nothing to you next week. You might be rich this year and poor the next. Maybe you'll be really into playing football this month and be fed up with it next month.

The only constant in all this is you.

Before you do anything at all, make sure you're happy with yourself.

(Personally atm my body is a great source of irritation for me. I'm muscular but have stubborn belly fat that I've not got round to getting rid of. It may sound silly but that is literally priority one for me right now, before anything else. Purely so I can feel good about me before I start looking at the stuff on the fringes of my life).

Thanks... that sounds exactly what I'm feeling right about... fitness and gym #1 , I remember when I was ripped, going consistently, I was happy and everything in life always fell into place somehow... I'm looking ok right now, but got a big belly due to nothing but carbs and ****ty food the past a bit over a year... I am going to the gym today for the first time in a LONG time. I don't know why but it also feels crappy knowing I have no hair, I've been trying to research good looking beard styles and piercings to add some flavor to myself!

My career is non-existent at the moment due to me having to go live at a sober living for 6 months sometime this month, to finish my probationary terms, but I will be able to job hunt in there and get hired. I worry more about my look than I do about the money stuff... I guess it's just that I've been girl-less for almost 2 years, and now that I am finally home I have no gf anymore (and do NOT want her back) and no friends really to talk to it hurts to be lonely... I guess I'm expecting overnight success which is stupid, I was never in such a bad position before. I was looking forward to getting back on this website for a LONG time.

I was going to look into Yoga classes and other groups on MeetUp to start socializing again and try to find some good hobbies.

 

[ohrein]

While we're on this topic, can you guys please help suggest me something for inner game?

My confidence, my mental state, all have taken a DEEP huge blow, knowing that I'm at a very low level right now, no friends no girls, hardly some money, I'll be honest, I'm lost as ****... I know money and all that don't matter, but what can I offer a girl right now except for my company and an invite to my crib lol

Youtube search "Jordan Peterson". Clean your room, stand up straight with your shoulders back, work on making your life 1% better every day. You have to offer value to women but remember they have to offer value to you as well.

 

[ohrein]

Non-dating post.

I've been out of the office for a couple of months working at home, basically just slightly less time than I've been posting and chatting with guys on here.

I think my work environment (and let's face it, many work environments nowadays) is just very ultra-ultra liberal, touchy-feely and b*tchy. No physical confrontation, no raised voices, tons of passive aggression and backbiting. Excessively "feminised" in a way, for want of a better way of putting it.

It was starting to rub off on me a lot and I was incredibly frustrated, without even realising. I'm single and I really don't have many manly, heterosexual friends to just talk about manly, heterosexual man stuff with. Combined with my sterilised clinical work environment I was becoming far more passive and non-confrontational than I realised.

I was turning into a eunuch.

Going back the other week, I felt an immediate change in my confidence and masculinity levels that was pretty awesome actually, just based on having good chats on here with some decent guys. Even giving advice to others has made me realise that I haven't been addressing things the way my natural "man instincts" tell me I should.

I'd been letting people push me around, sat around listening to BS all day, invited to gossip etc. etc.

This time around though, I just excused myself at lunch when I was bored stiff of the b*tchy BS. I just ignored the topics I found tedious asf because I don't have time for it. Walked off when the gossip started.

I no longer take s***, I no longer give a f*** about asking for dates, I just work hard and do whatever else I want. It feels great.

TLDR:

So I guess basically I'm saying: don't let your passive aggressive, air-freshened white collar workplace emasculate you. I did and it sucked.

I think this site is a great sanity refuge for manliness, it's like a non-destructive non-insane more mild Fight Club. Thanks lads

I recommend finding a couple of bros you can vent about that **** with outside of work. I have quite a few and while now I'm pretty unfazed by most of it, it's good to go vent about all the far left bs with some like minds.

 

[Macaframalama]

Definitely, find inner peace and happiness, before trying to meet women. Being around other men better, than yourself is the best way to find perspective. Weightlifting gyms, combat sport studios and hell, even your local VFW, where you can talk to some of the old vets will make you realize how insignificant some of our problems are. I highly recommend finding something you are interested in, that you compete against other men and get knocked around a little. BJJ, boxing, powerlifting or a CrossFit box. I wouldn't get into the mindset of thinking you need to have the perfect body at a specific body fat level or a specific amount of money in your account, before you start seeking out women though. That day may or may not ever come, but one thing is for certain, that you won't be living, during that time regardless.

 

[Von]

Youtube search "Jordan Peterson". Clean your room, stand up straight with your shoulders back, work on making your life 1% better every day. You have to offer value to women but remember they have to offer value to you as well.

I am addicted to Jordan Peterson, his work is so simple yet effective (he basically says in modern terms what's been said around for centuries)

Jordan Peterson is a good addition.

Funny, I found out today that he's a no sex before marriage advocate


Find your purpose, Know who you are, get duties, act, respect

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

The first rule of non-destructive non-insane more mild Fight Club, is that you don't talk about non-destructive non-insane more mild Fight Club.

HIS NAME WAS AMANTE SILVESTRE. HIS NAME WAS AMANTE SILVESTRE.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I recommend finding a couple of bros you can vent about that **** with outside of work. I have quite a few and while now I'm pretty unfazed by most of it, it's good to go vent about all the far left bs with some like minds.

It's not even just politics though, it's stuff like workplace attitudes to professionalism and respect being ridiculous.

Perfect example: I booked some metalworking manufacturing equipment I needed at work 2 weeks in advance. The man (let's call him Man A) who maintains this equipment has a bad reputation for just being lazy asf.

But everyone is nice to him, sucks up and never complains, because emasculated BS.

Anyway, I go to use the equipment and find that Man A has just casually let my time be delayed for 10 hours while he does something he wanted to do instead. So I have to wait 10 hours at work on my Sunday off to use it...only to find it shuts down when his job is finished and becomes unusable. Wasted my whole weekend.

I was absolutely livid and my line manager was like "Oh you can't complain. Remember who he is, and who you are. Remember the hierarchy. You have to respect him."

That made me even angrier. I'm supposed to just be cuddly with a guy who's actively screwing up my job? My attitude was "Why? Why the f*** do I have to respect this guy? If someone treats me like s***, I'm going to do the same to them. F*** you as well." I went and told Man A exactly what I thought of his selfish unprofessional attitude.

2 days later he's grovelling to me, fixing everything, and balance is restored. But the fact that my other co-worker was telling me to just s*ck this guy's d*ck after his ridiculous behaviour...absolutely unbelievable IMO. That's what modern work environments are like.

 

[Murk]

Ok good work on sticking up for yourself, a wasted weekend/time is a legit reason to be angry, but remember, always pick and choose your battles, play the game.

I would be more tactful when addressing a line manager, i.e. yes tell him you're fuming, but don't tell them to f*ck off.

You also don't want to be seen as the crazy guy that flies off the handle, just the guy who doesn't take sh*t. It's a really thin line to walk and takes a lot of social skill and self control.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Ok good work on sticking up for yourself, a wasted weekend/time is a legit reason to be angry, but remember, always pick and choose your battles, play the game.

I would be more tactful when addressing a line manager, i.e. yes tell him you're fuming, but don't tell them to f*ck off.

You also don't want to be seen as the crazy guy that flies off the handle, just the guy who doesn't take sh*t. It's a really thin line to walk and takes a lot of social skill and self control.

Hahaha yeah it's true I do get a temper when these things push me. Though I didn't actually tell my manager to f*ck off. I just politely-but-firmly told him to stop telling me what to say to the guy because I wasn't in the mood to talk about it with him. (And frankly it wasn't his business anyway).

 

[ohrein]

Funny, I found out today that he's a no sex before marriage advocate

Is he? Do you have a link? It doesn't surprise me too much, I'm sure a psychologist is well aware of the impact of trivializing sex. Still, I wouldn't have expected that of him.

 

[ohrein]

It's not even just politics though, it's stuff like workplace attitudes to professionalism and respect being ridiculous.

I recommend just practicing how to stand up for yourself within the politics of your work environment then. It's a tricky balance because you don't want to be passive aggressive but you also don't want to be aggressive. Firm would be the word. Honest and firm. End of the day you're always subordinate to or forced to work with people so sometimes you just have to ignore it.

 

[ExoticOne]

You’d be shocked if I told you how many women out there long for nothing more than that

Well... I hope I can orchestrate that with one of the girls off OkCupid, just signed up on it haha. I'm even nervous just typing **** to women **** man. A little off topic but maybe a link to another thread discussing online game (or OkCupid in particular) ?? Would much appreciate

 

[ExoticOne]

Forget OLD. That’s for old men and guys who don’t have the balls to crash and burn an approach.

Approach women like a real man and don’t take anything serious.

There’s guys out there who you are better looking than, more stable, less deserving and have more potential than, getting laid with beautiful women. And it’s only because they’re not ashamed of their masculinity

I agree. I personally believe there's an advantage to being fearless and approaching a girl face to face instead of text... to be honest, I just don't have the availability right now to go out and do approaches, or go to bars or clubs... I'm alone at home with no phone, no social media, I'm waiting for a 6 month rehab to accept me so I can get it over with (as part of my probation terms since being released from jail few days ago)... I just think OkCupid (or the like) is the best option for me to get laid at this present moment. I go to the gym with my sister, and today (1st time in 2 years) I went and saw a load of hot girls! Except I just don't know wtf to say to a girl in the gym wearing headphones!