This sh*t is chess, it ain't checkers.

[Likki]

I know what I'm going to be talking about may seem a bit ridiculous, but bear with me folks. I'm looking for interesting methods and suggestions that you guys would personally use if you were in my shoes. Lets start now.

There are currently three different girls I have my eye on at school (all which I share the same lunch period with). Now, before you go thinking I'm greedy, hear me out. Lets start with girl #1, who happens to be a foreign exchange student.

Scenario 1:
When this school year started I befriended her as soon as possible, by sitting with her at lunch and better acquainting myself with her. After a while, I decided not to sit with her any longer because it seemed as if I was the ONLY one asking questions. She would be extremely quiet and wouldn't say a thing for 45 minutes. I need someone who I can hold a conversation with. Anyway, during the time I spent sitting elsewhere, I noticed she gradually formed her on small group of friends which she sits with at random tables. The good thing about it is she still acknowledges my presence when she sees me by saying "Hi," which is a good thing, unlike girls who act like you're a nobody when they get a bit of attention. Do you think it would be wise to go back and sit with her and her new friends just to keep the friendship going? And if so, how would I go about doing it?

Scenario 2:
The second girl I have my eye on seems into me. We generally go to lunch at the same time and wait in the same line. When we make eye contact, she tends to flirt with me a lot, and I flirt in return. I really would love to go sit with her one day and get to know her ('cause it seems like she's feeling me), but it difficult because: 1. She sits with her own group of friends (all females with the exception of a male) and 2. She always sits outside with them to eat lunch. You might be thinking, what's the big deal about going outside? Well, if I were to RANDOMLY approach her and her group of friends at their own disclosed table, it would be really uncomfortable if I had no place to sit or I wasn't welcome. And even if I were to go through with it anyway, I would be stuck there if the experience was bad. I have yet to talk to this girl, but any suggestions regarding how I could break the ice would help.

Scenario 3:
Okay, last one guys. There is a girl who I had a slight crush on last year. She kind of dissed me without getting to know me at all, but a year has passed and I think its time for a new start. I would like to sit with her and her friends at lunch too and become a potential friend, but like the two previous scenarios listed, its quite the task being a newcomer and just showing up at someone's table that you don't even know and sitting with them.

I know that was a lot, but I really would appreciate your thoughts on what you guys would do in every scenario, or *a* secnario. Or which scenario is even ideal for me to choose in the first place. I hope this makes an interesting thread. Thanks in advance.

- Likki

 

[the_ajp]

#1:

Foreigh exchange students are always cool because it's a STR with a clear ending. You say you can't keep a conversation going with her. I think I would have given up but you might want to find out what her intrests are I mean talk about horses if she likes horses if she still isn't talking then theres no hope. So how much attention you should give her depends on how much you've tried. Never exclude the shag factor though.

#2:

Casually try to get a conversation started in the line and just walk with her to the group and say bye when she sits down. Try this a few times she'll probably will invite you to sit down with them (note: introduce yourself). And if not ask. Because the group has seen you before they won't mind. Now I know this isn't the best setting to ask for a phone number but you got in, now just find the right moment to ask her digits.

#3:

I think this is the hardest one there are some residual memories with her that might not be all to positive which makes an approach more dificult. I would try to meet her in a VERY happy envionment like a club or dance or pub or whatever not at school to much earlier associations

 

[Likki]

Nice!

Thank you for your thoughts on all three scenarios. Your advice is very helpful to me and I will be sure to use it. Anyone elese care to give their two cents? Would anyone prefer an alternate route in handling these situations. Let me hear what you have.

P.S. Thanks for responding!

 

[Likki]

Bump

C'mon guys. I want to hear more responses.

 

[Nocturnal]

First of all, you shouldn't be worrying about it so much. Let who you are make the decisions. It's ok to make mistakes, that's how you learn, and it's better to find something out the hard way a lot of times.

Here are a few things you should know that should be applied to all of the girls but more specifically the ones I describe.

1) Ask open ended questions. Ask hypothetical questions. Try to get her talking. Don't be dry or dull, make her excited about the conversation and try to be colorful. Since she's a foreign exchange student she might just be taking a long time to open up to people. Judge her reaction to you by her body language.

2) Sometime you see her away from the lunch table start a conversation with her. Go from there.

3) Be C&F (applies to more than just this situation though). Talk to her but don't make it a primary objective, just if you get the opportunity take it.

The sooner you act the better, and make sure you let them know you're attracted to them with your body language and humor.