This One Guy

[Crazy Asian]

I think I'm on the edge of changing my personality.
Right now, i'm sort of mean to people, and I don't want to be like that anymore.

When I first started changing myself, I wanted to be a guy that was nice to people, and gave compliments, but also stood his own ground. A guy with a purpose in life, and goals.

But I've really admired this guy on my swim team for a while. Although he's a freshmen, he's more muscular than most people on the team. He looks like a junior. He draws **** on his arms, wears weird clothes, and is just what I would call raw power. He doesn't give a ****, and yells at whatever the f*ck he wants. He does stuff like jack vacum(sp?) cleaners for no reason, and has a mohawk. He is what my definition of a masculine guy is. and without a doubt, his gf is smokin hot.

Now usually, I would avoid people like this, but there is also a likable side to him. I can't explain it. He is just so raw, but yet he is awesome to be around.

But, I don't know who I should be.
I guess i'm kinda of both right now.
I'm the guy that aims for good grades and has very important passions in my life. But I can also be unpredictable and wild. Like today, I just walked around with my sweat pants half way down (i had shorts on), and when people would look at me, i'd just be like "what the F*CK are you lookin at?" if it's a guy , or "don't act like this doesn't turn you on!" if it's a girl.
It's really fun doing stuff like this and not giving a sh1t about what anyone thinks of you. But I also have goals like becoming state champ in the 100 breast, or making 1st violin in all state.

But i feel like I don't get any respect.
EDIT: i shouldn't say i don't get respect, but i want to be the person that people go out of their way to help, or to be nice to. You know, that guy that everyone knows and admires. I only have a few b1tches at my command right now.

I act like the sh1t, but i don't truly believe it.
I know i'm still doing this stuff to try to impress people deep down.

Can I be both?

ps, I'm not good at writing thread over a paragraph long, so you might not be able to understand a part of it

 

[Crazy Asian]

i don't see the point in this thread. of course you can be alpha and have goals at the same time. being a dominant alpha male isn't about being a fvcking retard and walking around with your pants down and dissing everybody who looks though. you're getting it all wrong man

i didn't really see a point in this thread either.
i'm just confused.
I want to be like that guy on my swim team, but I don't know if i can pull it off, or if that's who i really want to be.

 

[Crazy Asian]

yeah in my post, i said that deep down, i was doing these things to impress people. but aren't we all? i mean it's natural to want attention from the opposite sex.

and yes i agree with you about the guy, how he doesn't let anybody f*ck with his reality.

but why can't i be like him?
i just need to believe it, and clash my beliefs with the beliefs of the people around me. If mine are stronger, i win.

 

[Jitterbug]

Pull your pants up, kid. Being a gangsta rapper wanna-be isn't alpha. It just makes you look like yet another MTV fad victim.

 

[ready123]

you're buying into the ******* frame too much. you don't need to be like that and yell at people to get status. figure out your own style of what works for you

let your life experiences dictate whether or not you're really the sht. get outside your comfort zone and eventually you won't have to fake it anymore. that conflict in your head is incongruence because you're trying to be somethign that you're not

and don't fvck up your grades over identity probs

 

[Last Man Standing]

Hey 16 year old kid, if you were my son, I would beat you down with a canoe paddle!! Why a canoe paddle, you ask? Because a ping pong paddle wouldn't do enough damage!!!!

Lift your pants up and quit being a slave!!! Your mind is warped in the matrix, and for you to believe that being in a degraded state elevates you, tells me that you are following the blind into the ditch!!! Why follow the blind, when you have eyes that see? Or do they?