This makes no sense

[The LadyKiller]

Recently I made a thread about how things look bleak with the girls I see on a daily basis (mainly at work - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=194657&highlight=embrace+hate). They'll be professional/nice, but it's evident they don't want a lot to do with me. No matter what I've tried, it hasn't stuck.

But here's the twist: The most attractive co-worker I deal with might have the hots for me?

She is a HB 9.5 and that means every guy tries to hit on her; some follow her around, give her loads of attention or jump through hoops to tend to her needs. While there are some guys she hangs out with, many others are part of the herd. That's not my style of play, so I never really knew her. I continued to do my own thing. Recently, however, she's been "around" me a lot more.

HB 9.5 has been initiating conversations, constantly asking me questions on how to do certain work-related things (some things I'm pretty sure she knows the answer to), initiates a little kino and smiles at me a lot. Then there are conversations like this today:

ME: "I'm working on (project). If you come across any clips, please let me know."
HB: "I will absolutely help, I'll send some your way!"
(seems normal enough)...until, after a brief pause...
HB: I'll do anything you want me to do (smiling w/ bedroom eyes).

I honestly do not know how to react to this on the spot; there were other people nearby too. Somehow, I kept my composure, said, "Great, thanks" and went back to do what I was doing.

She is a big flirt and probably enjoys the attention. Very bubbly personality. But I can't imagine her last line is "normal," right? At the top of this post, I mentioned how I can't seem to get past the "nice/professional" stage with any girl where I am now. But somehow the most attractive of these girls is acting this positively? Something doesn't add up.

 

[Desdinova]

Women you work with should be off limits. You were raised in a setting where women were easily available to you (school) and now you're expecting to take that into the workplace. You need to step outside your comfort zone and approach women you do NOT interact with on a daily basis.

Don't stick your d1nk in the company ink.

 

[The LadyKiller]

Women you work with should be off limits. You were raised in a setting where women were easily available to you (school) and now you're expecting to take that into the workplace. You need to step outside your comfort zone and approach women you do NOT interact with on a daily basis.

Don't stick your d1nk in the company ink.

I should have made a disclaimer: While this is typically true, please don't apply it here. It's not useful. I don't need to be lectured about about ethics and responsibility. I can handle myself.

I work at a very large-sized company in the middle of nowhere. Everyone relocated for the job. We work long/strange hours and everyone we know here is from work. A lot of us are the same age. It's a different set of circumstances Desdinova; there aren't "other options." I also trust myself not to do anything stupid.

Please no lectures about not getting involved with girls from work. If anyone has advice on the situation at hand, I appreciate it.

 

[SharinganUser]

Don't read to much into what a woman says, just observe what she does. If I were you, I would just focus on work and act like they are bothering me. You'll not only get more stuff done but they'll wonder why you are ignoring them and it should drive up her IL.

On the other hand you could have said "I'll take you up on that." and shot her a look your self.

 

[switch]

hmmm do you have an important position at work??
she might be getting close to you so she can jump up the career ladder
"bedroom" tactics are widespread in the business world...

 

[MisterD]

You answered your own question in the first post: Big flirt/loves the attention

I've had girls say things more sexually suggestive than that and thought it was in the bag, but it never turned into anything.

I wouldn't put much thought into this until she starts offering date ideas. Things like "maybe we can do xyz", "maybe after work one day we can xyz", or you can present those ideas yourself and see what her reaction is.

 

[The LadyKiller]

hmmm do you have an important position at work??
she might be getting close to you so she can jump up the career ladder
"bedroom" tactics are widespread in the business world...

Nope, we're the same position. I've been here a little longer than she has, so I can usually do more things at work. However, I have no rank of superiority over her so it wouldn't be that.

The bedroom tactics are widespread for sure. Not the case her (I think), but those type of things do happen.

 

[floydb25]

Flirts and attention *****s want attention from EVERYBODY. If someone doesn't want them - it makes them crave their attention even more. They're never satisfied until they know everyone wants them, and will go to great lengths to achieve this. There's a lot of insecurity and narcissism involved; low self-esteem and huge egos. Which is why they tend to be so bubbly and loud, as well. They also dress to impress; they always want to be noticed, and desired.

I'd be very cautious, and not get lured into any bull****. Make sure any suggestions are met with actions. Don't be played or strung along. This is common with this type. They lead people on to feed their egos, and have some sort of power over them. They keep coming back to make sure everyone still wants them. Especially if they suspect no one else wants the person they are honing in on, and has low self-esteem - they'll target them, and feed them bull****.

Even beyond that, these people tend to have issues (hence, acting this way), and are very shallow. It wouldn't suprise me if she fools around a lot. Sex is about all you should want. That's assuming she's not just ****ing with you, or acts this way with everyone. But you're at work, so you're making things even more complicated.

Basically, a lot of bad. Escalate quickly and see what happens. Dont play cat and mouse games, or you'll lose. Don't accept rejections with enough leeway for her to come back and **** with you. These people are retarded. If you get rejected - don't try again, or get lured into doing so. If she is an AW - she WILL come back after rejecting you, and feed you BS - to make sure you still want her. You'll never know where you stand, but it seems like they MIGHT be interested. Mixed messages are rampant. It's a never-ending cycle of confusion.

 

[K2000kidd]

=Not the case here (I think), but those type of things do happen.

be careful OP you're not seeing the possible fallout here because you're attracted to her,
ignoring advice from others that don't support a favorable outcome is just asking to get bit

 

[Desdinova]

I don't need to be lectured about about ethics and responsibility. I can handle myself.

It has nothing to do about ethics and responsibility. I personally don't give a damn about that 5hit when it comes to women. The problem is if it doesn't work, how the fvck is SHE going to deal with it? Is she going to be cool about you moving on? Is she going to make your workplace a living hell?

When just one end of the party gets all fvcked up emotionally, it can have really awful outcomes. I worked in a place where both the secretary and the accountant were fvcking one of the guys in drafting. Not only did the accountant and the secretary hate each other, the guy's wife was calling the accountant and screaming at her. Eventually, the accountant got pregnant with his kid.

All three of them no longer work there.

 

[Trump]

I should have made a disclaimer: While this is typically true, please don't apply it here. It's not useful. I don't need to be lectured about about ethics and responsibility. I can handle myself.

I work at a very large-sized company in the middle of nowhere. Everyone relocated for the job. We work long/strange hours and everyone we know here is from work. A lot of us are the same age. It's a different set of circumstances Desdinova; there aren't "other options." I also trust myself not to do anything stupid.

Please no lectures about not getting involved with girls from work. If anyone has advice on the situation at hand, I appreciate it.

Dude you can handle yourself? You are already getting all hot and bothered when an attractive girl says 5 words to you in a workplace setting. Don't assume you can handle yourself when it comes to attractive girls, especially in a workplace setting when your livelihood is at stake.

As soon as you say "their are no other options" you will be screwed and this is exactly what she wants. "This guy is thinking about me when I say a few sentences to him, what will he do when I kiss and then ignore him? He may jump off a bridge...look how much power I have!"

Just continue about your business. If you really like her and don't care about the consequences of dating work girls, ask her out quickly, don't want 5 weeks hoping she'll fall in love with you. Better to get a no now than build up false expectations.

 

[Iceberg]

ME: "I'm working on (project). If you come across any clips, please let me know."
HB: "I will absolutely help, I'll send some your way!"
(seems normal enough)...until, after a brief pause...
HB: I'll do anything you want me to do (smiling w/ bedroom eyes).

Honestly, it doesn't sound like much of anything.

I mean even if this line WERE flirting (which I'm not sure it was, since I couldn't hear her tone), in the situations in life when girls are making moves on me, it just kind of finds a way to happen. They're not dropping porno-script pickup lines on me in the office. "I'll do annnnything you want me to." It sounds like a girl who might be flirting...but not a girl who's seriously trying to get you to f**k her.

The best way to find out for certain is to chat her up for a bit, become friendly, and get her out of work for some drinks. Once you're one on one, you'll get a better read on her.

Otherwise, we're just analyzing signals that may or may not exist.

 

[The LadyKiller]

Honestly, it doesn't sound like much of anything.

I mean even if this line WERE flirting (which I'm not sure it was, since I couldn't hear her tone), in the situations in life when girls are making moves on me, it just kind of finds a way to happen. They're not dropping porno-script pickup lines on me in the office. "I'll do annnnything you want me to." It sounds like a girl who might be flirting...but not a girl who's seriously trying to get you to f**k her.

The best way to find out for certain is to chat her up for a bit, become friendly, and get her out of work for some drinks. Once you're one on one, you'll get a better read on her.

Otherwise, we're just analyzing signals that may or may not exist.

This seems true. My birthday happened very recently; most people say "happy birthday," HB suggests we go out for shots. :yes: We were both working extremely late that day, so maybe down the road we'll do that.

Desdinova, that situation is really messed up lol. Crazy stuff. K2000kid, I'm taking in the advice, I just was annoyed at the "work" lectures. We're all aware of it and it gets beaten to death on the board. Floyd, good stuff with attention wh*ores. I dealt with one of these in high school, that girl was malicious. The silver lining is it helps me deal with these types now.

 

[floydb25]

Classic guide on what the AW is and how to deal with them. Clearly you have experience with it, as do I.

If only you knew... I've dealt with the worst of the worst for years and years. Definitely gained a lot of knowledge, but also picked up a lot of resentment with it. 'Tis the way of life, I suppose. Gotta get scarred to learn.