This makes me sick

[iqqi]

Smart man. I'm liking you a lot in 08.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

interesting question by victory unlimited...wow.

Joekerr wrote:

grrr - you've confounded me VU.

:yes: Yeah guys...


And I had two reasons for putting that question out there, too:

1. To see just how many "mature men" would ignore it and/or sidestep it------which seems to be the custom around here lately whenever issues of personal accountability tend to come up...:trouble:

AND

2. To once again shock some of us awake to the REALITY of life. Which is: No person, no situation, no circumstance, and as a matter of fact----NOTHING else in life is or ever will be "perfect". Many of us here often seem to suffer from the delusion that WE are perfect, and so therefore we deserve perfect women with perfect situations and under perfect circumstances too.

Examples:

"I'd never date a chick who has ______."

"I'd never date a chick who has done ______."

"I'd never date a chick from _______."

But the irony of it all is that MANY TIMES, some of us who make these kinds of almost dogmatic statements-------are actually guilty of doing, being, or having the SAME barriers to connecting to someone as "the chick" we've just disqualified has.

I guess what I was trying to get at, is that we should maybe be a little more mindful of just how harshly we may be tempted to CONDEMN the women we meet. Qualify them very stringently, but at the same time being realistic in our standards? YES. But condemn them to the pits of hell? NO.

Because I sometimes wonder how many of us here could really stand up to the level of scrutiny in both the SAME, and DIFFERENT areas of our own lives that we are often tempted to judge others (see----WOMEN).

And this is no accusation to ANYONE here in particular, just food for thought for all of us, I suppose. This is the Mature Man Forum, isn't it???

Now PLEASE, no one misunderstand my point on purpose:

I'm NOT saying that we shouldn't always AIM HIGH, because we should-----because only by aiming high can we ever hope to raise our chances of getting the best women, in the best situations, and under the best circumstances.

And I'm also NOT suggesting that men should necessarily suddenly start targeting only serial aborters or single mothers of three (with 3 DIFFERENT daddies) for relationships, either.lol

No, I'm not suggesting "settling" at all. But what I AM suggesting is that we should always juxtapose whatever our ideal is against what's real, and THEN make our choices in women according to how close we can find one that meets our ideal qualifications----but NOT necessarily one who is "perfect" (whatever that means to each of us...).

Sometimes people actually CHANGE. And if most of us DIDN'T believe that, I doubt we'd be here learning how to change OURSELVES right now.

So, to boil it all down, I guess I posted the question to remind us all that Master Don Juan/Masculine Man status aside-----life is rarely the nice, neat, perfect little package that we'd like for it to be.

Rather, the truth is that life is often MESSY and CLUTTERED with the things you want, intertwined with some things you may NOT want.

Many times people are like a Blue Plate Special. As much as we may want to substitute, or rake off, SOME of the unwanted items from the plate------there are times when it's NOT realistically possible. That's when a high but REALISTIC standard must be applied to our choices. And just like SOME women are like Blue Plate Specials, so are we as well.

Because no matter how HOT we may be, there'll always be some chick who disqualifies us becuase WE may have kids, WE have had a past criminal record, or WE may not have our own place because we've chosen to move in and care for a terminally ill relative, or whatever...l

So it seems to me, that ONE of our wisest missions as mature men might be to at the very least continue to hold OURSELVES up to the same amount of scrutiny that we hold women up to----and to also make our judgements of them based more on the spirit of our "DJ" Law as opposed to just the letter of it.


Peace...one day.

 

[wjh]

I can't bring myself to ever bust inside of a woman's guts. Condom or not. Scares the crap out of me. Just thinking about it makes me limp.