Ive never been to a bar alone, but have wondered off on my own lots of times, and approach girls, one reason is because sometime my wingman straight up sucks at talking to women or because I just like practicing game regardless.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
This is why you don't go to bars/clubs alone
- Thread starter chad2k5
- Start date
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
When all your friends are nerds? And the few that are not nerds, you are not alpha enough or close enough to them to tag along?San Jose California said:
What other option do you have then but to go alone? Im in that position. A lot of alpha people that are "friends" but are not that close to me in terms of friends. On top of that I got a social stigma of a newb in the group so it's hard to break free from that label. They dont treat me like pure craap....they just don't see me as the guy who picks up chicks...just someone to chill, beer pong and ****. Suggestions?
Of course I don't go alone to bars. But i try my best to talk to girls when I do go to the bars with friends(as a big group...once in a month or so) or when we go to house parties.
You live in IV? I do....anyway I agree with you there, that would be weird. the type of clubs/bars ive been going to have really poppin off dance floors so thats where i usually meet my girls and get separated from my friendsSan Jose California said:
No it's called Being Social.San Jose California said:
If you can walk into a bar with no one knowing you before hand, and leave with numbers, invites to parties, or even more, then what's the weirdness of it?
Who's talking about just sitting there? interact! You're right that it would be weird for a guy to just sit there and do nothing... SO DO SOMETHING!
Here's an example, walk to up barstool, order something, make a comment on girl sitting next to you (necklace, bracelet, whatever) keep it light and friendly and then plow! For all you know you're about to make new friends and voila, you aren't alone anymore.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
daygameguy
Master Don Juan
Being alone also means that you must be driving. So you can't even get a drink. How very liberating. Now add to it the fact that you can't dance or don't look too buff like all the other huge doods who are overshadowing you. Add to it the fact that you are from another country and English is technically your second language. Add to it the fact that you just saw a Jaguar, a bentley, and a Lambo parked outside.Aragon034 said:
Try giving value to people, spreading love! yeah right.. lol it needs some serious inner game, I mean some ROCK SOLID inner game to totally LORD the night in that situation.
So there are some serious issues guys.
But once you get good at going out alone, your personality and game will be better than any mofo on the planet. You will become absolutely untouchable. Which is why I have a love-hate relationship with cold approaching, or sarging in general.
I don't deny any of your points there. It is hard. but you're also right about your game becoming much much better than any "mofo on the planet" by sticking at it.daygameguy said:
About looking buff and being overshadowed though, that's not really the point of discussion. outer game is up to the individual, but Inner Game is what matters here. Peacocking might make it easier to break the ice though.
Solomon
Master Don Juan
San Jose California said:
SAN JOSE
Reason why I went out initally by myself is because I wanted to become more confident(and it was my own boot camp back in late 08). Going out as a black man (I gotta emphasize) in the boondocks of wisconsin(where it's 98% white and redneck) helped my inner game out a ton. I didn't know anybody to lean on (no saftey nets)and I had to learn how to open/build rapport/escalate etc etc. Until I became comfortable with myself. By the time I went back out with my boys in the city it was breeze for me to game cause I already went out by myself and my confidence level was crazy higher. I have tons of homies I could go out with, but the main problem comes down too, one guy wants to go to one bar, another here. I like to check out various places depending on the night, on top of that too many dudes, and you in competion with your wings over the same chicks @ time. She might feel your man but you feeling her etc etc
I rather go out with one or two wings, less is more
daygameguy
Master Don Juan
So let's get practical here.
What is the best strategy to have when you are alone? Should you aim at building a few good friendly base sets that like you. Or be a pimp from the first set you approach?
What is the best strategy to have when you are alone? Should you aim at building a few good friendly base sets that like you. Or be a pimp from the first set you approach?
fertileTurtle
Master Don Juan
I go to bars by myself all the time. I like it better than going with friends, because they can really get in my way sometimes and it's a lot easier for me to get some from a chick who usually is with a friend or two. I got a threesome going with 2 chicks after I took them to my car to smoke green. It's really not as bad as people think it is and you have a lot more freedom to do what you want at a whim. I do on occassions run into an ass who wants to fight, but I don't get very drunk most of the time so I can usually get myself out of there or whatever I need to do to avoid a fight. I also stay away from bars that I have had a lot of trouble in. And I have also found that a lot of bouncers are really jealous little pricks who have to stay around the bar scene all the time in order to score with dumb whaore drunks, otherwise they couldn't get much play out of their element. Most of them are too dumb to do anything else, so I don't pay them much attention anyway.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
fertileTurtle
Master Don Juan
My thoughts exactly. If you don't have much game, the bar is not the place for you, because woman will go off on you if you come across as either a weak little punk or you do that neg-hit shiit the wrong way they will have some dudes jump your punk-ass. Plus you have to factor in that alcohol and drugs in people's systems make them do crazy ****, so you have to have a knack at avoiding drama.KontrollerX said:
I also agree that having a rape-pack of dudes roll with you will not help you either.
fertileTurtle
Master Don Juan
If you need someone to hold your hand, there is always people at the bar who will hang with you. I run into people by themselves all the time, mostly dudes just out chillin. Play pool or find a group of 2 or 3 and you can hang out if you need someone with you. Meeting people at a bar is the easiest thing to do in the world.San Jose California said:
If all you do is walk in the bar by yourself and gaze at people, then you are going to be labeled the weirdo. If you're going to go out to a bar by yourself, you must start getting into conversations right away. Otherwise, people are going to think you look weird, and yes, people notice that, women especially. You be many things, obnoxious, assh0le, whatever, but one thing girls are universally turned off from is CREEPY. And a guy just standing against a wall in a bar by himself day after day is going to have creepy written all over him.
fertileTurtle
Master Don Juan
You go anywhere and act like that people are going to talk about you.speakeasy said:
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
I go alone alot,my friends are married-I don't pull them out away from their wives often. Call my friends to see if they can go out? What? I'm 50, not in middle school. I can meet people I know there or meet new people. There's always idiots out there trying to put you down so they can feel better-f'em. The old Arabic proverb " the dogs bark,but the caravan keeps travelilng" comes to mind
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.