Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

This is why you don't go to bars/clubs alone

chad2k5

Banned
Joined
Mar 19, 2005
Messages
44
Reaction score
1
Age
37
Me and my buddies always go to a favorite bar of ours (busy place, lot of hot girls). I know some of the staff. Anyway we always see this one guy walking around by himself, with a drink, trying to talk to girls... which is cool he's doing his thing, but one of the bartenders said to me "Hey what's with that weirdo who comes in by himself all the time?" He said this in front of some pretty hot girls who are also regulars. They started laughing.

people do notice

This is why you don't go to these places alone. this guy is a joke and he doesn't even know it
 

MaTuA

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 10, 2002
Messages
61
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Location
A small point on planet Earth
Thats some bullshvt, and the bartender knows it. The bartender is just mad cause he wouldn't have the ballz to do it hisself if he wasn't behind the bar. He is th fvcking flake just like the bvtches he needed to validate his weak ascertation. What do you think?
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,021
Reaction score
2,057
Location
Inside her mind
chad2k5 said:
Me and my buddies always go to a favorite bar of ours (busy place, lot of hot girls). I know some of the staff. Anyway we always see this one guy walking around by himself, with a drink, trying to talk to girls... which is cool he's doing his thing, but one of the bartenders said to me "Hey what's with that weirdo who comes in by himself all the time?" He said this in front of some pretty hot girls who are also regulars. They started laughing.

people do notice

This is why you don't go to these places alone. this guy is a joke and he doesn't even know it
RESPECT

To the guy having the balls to approach, even if it is by himself. The thing is people wanna judge that's fine, you transcend to another level when you go against the grain, when you do things that aren't "social normal" or "acceptable" . I use to go to bars/clubs by myself all the time. Some of my most memorable moments are when I went out by myself, and I've posted some of the experiences here.

What's the point of picking up women when you got a bunch of guys in your clique going after the same one?

Less is more
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
4,485
Reaction score
182
This is advanced game for the truly confident DJ.

Until you get confidence and the gift of gab you should probably roll with a wingman.

I'd never advocate going on a hunt with a group of guys though that just scares the sh!t out of women and gives you extra unnecessary competition.

Anyway once you become truly confident and your game is tight going out alone is the best way to do it.
 

ketostix

Banned
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
3,878
Reaction score
55
chad2k5 said:
no, the bartenders actually a pretty nice guy.
The bartender is not a nice guy and neither are any of the people there. No one is playing nice in a bar. But you bring up a good point, people are going to pre-judge and label. Being seen alone at a bar is social proof hole that's hard to get out of.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
i don't go to bars alone, or if i go to any by myself it's this redneck sh*thole where i don't have to worry about anything like that. not that i'd give a fat rats ass what some loser male bartender with his clique of gold digging hoe's thinks. if you're going to do the alone thing do it somewhere else. at least i don't have the confidence to meet women by myself in a bar. luckily for me though when i have gone out alone, i knew i was going to see other people i knew out at the same place. now on the flip side there are some guys that are out by themselves every single weekend harrassing the sh*t out of every woman that walks through the door week after week. if he's that guy then yeah, he's a loser. we have several of those here. but if he isn't out by himself that often, then the bartender has a small set of nuts and just wanted to look cool in front of the ladies who only laughed in the hopes that this AFC bartender would give them free shots or something.
 

evesman

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2008
Messages
91
Reaction score
2
I've had very different experiences. Sometimes I'm not really ready to approach when I go out alone, but on other occasions, have had a great, great time, meeting girls or sometimes meeting some cool dude who can be a good wing.

Being weird is being weird; going out solo in and of itself does not make you weird. Besides, that brave individual is not seeking a bartender's approval: and it certainly should not be your goal either.

Ask yourself this: do you want to stay home playing World of Warcraft or do you want to go out, even if your friends don't want to do so?
 

DJDamage

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2004
Messages
5,666
Reaction score
103
Location
Canada
evesman said:
I've had very different experiences. Sometimes I'm not really ready to approach when I go out alone, but on other occasions, have had a great, great time, meeting girls or sometimes meeting some cool dude who can be a good wing.

Being weird is being weird; going out solo in and of itself does not make you weird. Besides, that brave individual is not seeking a bartender's approval: and it certainly should not be your goal either.
Which is why I suspect that the guy who was laughed at was probably wierd or socially awkward. You can't go to the same hang out place by yourself over an over again without getting chummy with the staff and the regulars there otherwise you are just asking for it. Because of that fact, I probably also suspect that this guy may be bad in picking up women as well.

Being socially awkward and going alone is a deadly combination.
 

daygameguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2008
Messages
998
Reaction score
27
Location
NY
Going out alone = less male crowd = less competition

Whenever I managed to get a wing, I ended up discussing PU stuff with him and our nights just went bad.

But if I go out alone, I have to talk to people, even though I might get myself in a LJBF zone, I still approach lots of people. In fact, there is nobody watching, at least nobody I personally know in real life.

And of course, as said earlier, it's a bit intimidating to be alone at night, but it's better than playing some game at home and feeling like a KBJ Pimp.
 

evesman

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2008
Messages
91
Reaction score
2
A lot of the pua literature is designed, actually, to prevent wingmen from screwing each other over, hence wingman rules and such. Of course, you can skip all wingman drama altogether by simply going out solo.

From what I've seen, people go out alone all the time and is seen as completely normal. Or, you go out with other people, and you're alone at the bar, or alone separated from your friends. Or you are "with" a group of people you've just met, or have known briefly. Who's to know? Who cares?

Look at it the other way: you roll in with three pua wings. Four pua's. All male. Is that "normal"?

I really don't see how it would be logical to draw such broad conclusions based upon one flippant comment from a bartender (who may be extremely jaded from what it appears).
 

Trader

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
991
Reaction score
71
chad2k5 said:
Me and my buddies always go to a favorite bar of ours (busy place, lot of hot girls). I know some of the staff. Anyway we always see this one guy walking around by himself, with a drink, trying to talk to girls... which is cool he's doing his thing, but one of the bartenders said to me "Hey what's with that weirdo who comes in by himself all the time?" He said this in front of some pretty hot girls who are also regulars. They started laughing.

people do notice

This is why you don't go to these places alone. this guy is a joke and he doesn't even know it
This post says more about you than it does about that supposed *weirdo*
 

Juan_Man

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2001
Messages
1,102
Reaction score
28
A lot of people go to bars by themselves. The bartender was probably just upset that the guy didn't tip nor buy enough drinks.
 

Smack

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2008
Messages
415
Reaction score
13
Location
Britain
I suppose going alone has the advantage of less competition, and perhaps less hard feelings from your buddies if you get a really nice girl and they can't, but going alone has its disadvantages as well.

For example, the original post in this thread. If you can't pull it off good, then you'll crash and burn.

Also, most bars/clubs here don't let people that are themselves in; you have to have at least some friends with you, and preferably some girls as well. This is because they don't want loners there harassing the girls, or PUA type guys.
 

Hughman

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2009
Messages
480
Reaction score
4
Location
Birmingham, UK
It depends wholly on the guy in question. If he's always by himself and his game sucks (even though he has some semblance of balls), then it's going to get noticed. If he sometimes comes in with his friends, other times to just have a quite drink, then it's a good combo.
It sounds like this guy is looking to hookup, which without good calm game is going to get you ****ed over (and this were the pissy, *****, submissive 'let them come to me' attitude comes from). If he's in the bar enjoying a drink or two, looks cool and alphaesque, and occasionally will strike up a convo with his neighbors, then the bartender is a douche.
 

MaTuA

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 10, 2002
Messages
61
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Location
A small point on planet Earth
Listen San Hoesay: I don't need to validate my game to someone who's still wet behind the ears, and is just starting to get bass in his voice. I go to bars and clubs by myself all the time one: I bounce do security at them, 2: I have more fun and meet prettier and more abundant women out for a good time, as opposed to cvck-blocking scrubs like you.

I'm in the field doin work, while you on your mommys couch giving it a jerk....
 

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,388
Reaction score
1,092
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
Seriously, if you got confidence, money, balls, or a combination of these, you can go to the club alone if you know what to do.

If you heard about a party that had a 100 women there and 5 guys, would you bring 4 other guys with you or just go alone?

I know I'd go alone and I'd know there's a lot less male competition as opposed to me bringing the whole Star Trek crew.

If you can socialize, that's an alpha male trait. Use it. If you stand in a corner waiting for a girl to approach you, that's an omega male trait. Don't do that.

You'll see guys who look cool, nerdy, and like FBI agents ready to take down a drug lord. Be the cool guy and the bartender will be a douchebag.
 

Killer_Demo

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2003
Messages
172
Reaction score
0
Location
Northern Cali
ive been to clubs by myself and gotten more action than with friends...your bartender friend is sipping too much haterade...plain and simple
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
7,994
Reaction score
4,495
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
This bartender was trying to score points with the girls at this guy's expense as well as shut his game down. That's uncool and kind of cruel. At least the dude is trying. On the other hand, if the guy is harrassing the women and creeping them out, then that's a different story.

I go out alone nearly all the time out of necessity. Most guys my age are married, engaged, or have a girlfriend.

Plus, I've gotten used to not having a wingman and don't really want one anymore for the following reasons:

1. It's way too easy to talk to your wingman all night and not approach. I think we've all had that experience.

2. It's especially bad if your wing is REALLY picky with girls. You keep waiting for PERFECT 10s who never arrive and don't end up approaching anyone. At least if you are alone, you can approach any girl you are attracted to (even if she's fat lol) and you can't be judged.

2. Sometimes you are having a good night and your buddy is having a cr&ppy night or vice versa. Should you leave the club or stay?

3. Your wing likes and/or does well at a given club, but you hate that place and prefer another. Which one do you go to?

4. You feel like you're tag-teaming every set and ganging up on the girls by approaching with your wing.

5. Even if you meet a two-set, what are the odds of you hitting it off with girl 1 AND your wing hitting it off with girl 2 simultaneously? Very slim.

6. Competition. It's like Murphy's Law that the girl you are most interested in somehow is attracted to your wing, not you.

7. If your wing doesn't watch his mouth, he can get both of you dragged into a fight.

Of course, there are two sides to everything. There are downsides to going out solo like some posters have mentioned:

1. It is unbelievably hard if you are socially awkward and girls will judge you harsly for being alone unless you are very socially savy or have a REALLY GOOD excuse for being out alone such as you are waiting for a friend, you are in the city on business, etc.

2. You need to stick to classier, safer places since you have no wing to back you up if some guy gets hostile.

3. It can be very hard to extract a girl from any set. The girls don't want their friend to leave with a strange guy because they are concerned about her safety. This means your best targets are lone wolfs. However, most lone wolfs at bars and clubs are old cougars. Young hotties don't have the confidence to go out alone. The rare exception might be a business traveler woman at a hotel bar who is there alone because she's in town on business and felt more comfortable going to her hotel lounge than a local bar.
 

Aragon034

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 31, 2008
Messages
574
Reaction score
15
Location
T-dot
i've noticed that those who have actually tried (and persisted) at going out alone are the ones defending the concept, while the ones who say it's weird haven't mentioned trying it.

Typically i go out with friends, but i've been on my own several times and as long as you can strike up some conversations, dont just stand in a corner and be an "omega male" (I'm so stealing that Nismo, i LOL'ed) then i really don't see the problem with going out alone. I've had some damn fun nights on my own!

any DJ worth his time spent studying should be able to strike up a conversation with AT LEAST a fellow dude. and that's if it's by far teh worst night ever.

If you're not dying of AA then you can talk to chicks at bars, or at the absolute least, get a few dances on.

don't hate it till you try it, base your opinions on personal experience rather than assumptions.
 
Top