this is ridiculous

[DJArlington]

Guys,

I feel like I've reached a low point in my life... I have been out with three girls this year. They weren't all that great but I didn't score, make out with, etc.. any of them. This was the same story last year. I'm not aggressive enough with chicks. I feel like an AFC. I have lived my life so conservatively - I feel like I don't have balls anymore. In college, I had balls but I was also helped by the fact that everyone was drunk at the party so it was pretty easy to hook up - especially at a party school.

I'm in my mid 20s and I wanna have some fun before it's time to settle down. I know it's time to go "balls to the wall" but there's something holding me back. I just can't get out of this rut. I'm overworked, fat (30 pounds overweight) and need to get laid.

yes i know i sound like a pathetic little bastard but i really need your help. where are my balls? why can't i talk to every hot girl i see. what the heck is wrong with me. i am a very sociable person. something isn't right. may be i'm too nice or something...

can someone point me in the rigth direction?

 

[ryanvalmont]

Originally posted by gOLDENBoy83
If you can't approach women, then a social phobia might be the reason. There are lots of books that help you to cure your fear.
Or you just lack self-confidence due to your weight problem.

You should shape your body and improve your lacks as good as you possibly can.
If you don't have the time because you're working so much, you should consider to reorganize your life.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consult a psychotherapist.

So what about if you have MASS CONFIDENCE,look the part,and STILL can't approach like me?...Due to the fact i can't find a godd opener.

 

[ChunLi]

This is my guess about you. Whenever you are on a date, you talk about the casual stuff, such as hobbies, what you studied, etc. Eventually you can tell that your date is bored and you start to panic and run out of things to say and the rest of the date is just dead air. If this is true, then you are not suffering from social phobea, you simply lack humour.

Realistically, one of the best way to continuously make any conversation not boring is humour. If you have a better way, then please feel free to suggest or use it, but I personally find that humour is the best weapon at impressing girls. If you were able to ask 3 girls out on a first date, I seriously doubt that you lack confidence, assuming that you did it on your own merit.

Just how powerful is humour, you ask? Well, this one time I worked at Second Cup, I flirted with over 30 girls as an experiment, using strictly humour. Only one thought it was cheesy and left right away(meaning that she's probably a hard@$$), the others continued the conversation, laughed and had good time because they stayed on afterwards to chat with me a little. A few even sang a few songs and did a dance for me. This is how powerful humour is.

ChunLi

 

[Frank Zappa]

Re: Re: this is ridiculous

Originally posted by ChunLi
This is my guess about you. Whenever you are on a date, you talk about the casual stuff, such as hobbies, what you studied, etc. Eventually you can tell that your date is bored and you start to panic and run out of things to say and the rest of the date is just dead air. If this is true, then you are not suffering from social phobea, you simply lack humour.

Realistically, one of the best way to continuously make any conversation not boring is humour. If you have a better way, then please feel free to suggest or use it, but I personally find that humour is the best weapon at impressing girls. If you were able to ask 3 girls out on a first date, I seriously doubt that you lack confidence, assuming that you did it on your own merit.

Just how powerful is humour, you ask? Well, this one time I worked at Second Cup, I flirted with over 30 girls as an experiment, using strictly humour. Only one thought it was cheesy and left right away(meaning that she's probably a hard@$$), the others continued the conversation, laughed and had good time because they stayed on afterwards to chat with me a little. A few even sang a few songs and did a dance for me. This is how powerful humour is.

ChunLi

Yeah... you're right. The thing is we often forget about these things and try to stay near a comfortable base. You got to pull your balls out before they're in anybody's mouth. Take risks and you will fail, but even if you succeed once that's one on the scoreboard. This is coming from a guy who's cheering crowd doesn't involve the same guy riding around on a bicycle.

~Zappa

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Here's the problem bro:

Your not happy with yourself, so how can you project a self-confidence to others?? One of the first steps to becoming good with chicks is to learn to love yourself. Yeah that's right, literally love who you are, inside & out. If your not happy with something(s) about yourself, change 'em. The only person holding you back from happiness is YOU.


Anyone can hook up in college. A few drinks, and its on...

You really prove your skills when you have the ability to pull girls wherever you go.


PIMP

 

[Shot Callin]

Not Happy

Hey, I know what you are feelin man. It's not easy to get out of a rut. But that is why you have to do something big, almost drastic.

Do you work out? You said you are overweight so I will assume no.

Working out is awesome because it does two things for you.

1. Confidence. You just feel better looking at yourself, feel better about yourself, and have less negative thoughts about yourself (i.e. "i'm such a pudgy b*stard")

2. Its gets your brain to produce natural endorphins. This will help to balance you out and make you happier overall. Just as people start to put on weight in their 20s they also will experience less natural endorphins.

Sounds like you are doing something to approach women, but something is putting them off.... most likely it is your attitude. But the good news is you can change that! That is what DJ is about, self-adjusting your attitude.

When your attitude is right you will be a fun person to be around.

 

[ChunLi]

Originally posted by gOLDENBoy83
@ ryanvalmont

You don't need a good opener.
Just say "hi".

Actually, I find that having a good opener, or punchline as I call it, can work wonders because it grants good initial impression points, which can only work to your advantage. You don't need state of the art openers, just ones with a little humour is more than sufficient.

ChunLi

 

[Hollowpoint]

Join me at www.wannabebig.com forums and start a training journal there.

There is tons of good information about losing weight and getting fit.

 

[DJ_Dork]

Uh, confidence/working out is not going to get you girls. It gets you to places in life..It may attract more girls but it doesn't mean it will make it easier for you.

Basically it's this ,if the girl feels comfortable with you..and likes your background..it really DOESN'T matter if you're funny, good looking, etc. I've seen dudes that are ugly and not funny, yet they feel comfortable with themselves and the girl who is above average holding their hands.