This is driving me crazy.

[Canadian Catnip]

Some quick background first. Back in my AFC days I had no game. I used to go into a corner coffee shop a few years ago and there was this cute girl that worked there. I went in there a few times per week and got to know her. Eventually I asked her for her number and asked her out and like a true AFC I was rejected. It hurt, and I moved on.

After I got some game I made a rule for myself. Don't date girls that work as servers at coffee shops. It was a direct result of the rejection I got a few years ago. After all, they are friendly to me because it's their job to be. I promised myself that I'll never fall into that scenario again.

Fast forward back to today and now whenever I go into any Coffee shop I am always practice my game on these women that work in there.

Well it's frustrating because I have had several times where these girls have started coming after me. It's driving me crazy that I made this rule not to date any of them, and it's the rule that is making them like me.

It works out well for a while, there is friendly banter and smiles from them, but then It gets to the uncomfortable part. They get all upset that I am not chasing after them. It usually ends with them thinking that I tricked them by faking to be nice and friendly to them. Then they get mad at me.

I think they believe that I am going into the coffee shop to chat with them. It's not true. I go in for the coffee. Then after a few weeks they get upset that I have not asked them their name or whatever.

It's always when you don't care about the outcome that you seem the most attractive to women.

Seems the more I leave them alone the more they try to find out about me. I've even tried to completely ignore them and they try even harder to get my attention.

Has anyone else had this happen and what is the best way leave them alone and to not get these women angry at me?

 

[WC2]

Well you say you don't care about the outcome, but personally I think you're just avoiding an outcome. Don't date girls who work at coffee shops? What kind of rule is that? Why are you thinking about dating any ways.. if you're interested in these women you should be thinking about getting their numbers and meeting up. The fact that they treat you nicely because you are a customer is besides the point. If they want to pursue you they will, if they don't they don't. If you avoid rejection, you will never taste the sweetness of success.

 

[Crazy Asian]

WC2, if u read his post closely, he is saying how by not caring about the outcome, you attract whatever you are avoiding.

I've experienced this too.
2 years ago, my Oneitis got a boyfriend and it broke my heart.
I told myself that I was going to try and ignore her a little.
She eventually started flooding me with attention.

 

[WC2]

WC2, if u read his post closely, he is saying how by not caring about the outcome, you attract whatever you are avoiding.

I've experienced this too.
2 years ago, my Oneitis got a boyfriend and it broke my heart.
I told myself that I was going to try and ignore her a little.
She eventually started flooding me with attention.

Gotcha. Well I read his post closely and I know what he said. Of course when you ignore a woman, she will almost always give you more attention. Most women want attention. The question is, is this the right way to go about attracting women? I don't know, I'm not a big fan of ignoring women to attract them. From time to time it's necessary to cut off attention, but ignoring a woman all the time isn't the right way to go about things. I call that avoiding the situation.

 

[Canadian Catnip]

WC2, if u read his post closely, he is saying how by not caring about the outcome, you attract whatever you are avoiding.

It's funny how people here read a post and then put it through their filters and then give advice on what they think is best for them.

I got rejected, made a rule to avoid it happening again, now it seems to make them chase me more. A pretty simple post on my part. I just wish people would stop reading other things into it.

But thanks for seeing what I wanted to say. I want to be friendly to these women, practice my game with them, but I don't want them getting angry at me for not asking them out or escalating.

I just want to practice a specific part of my game on them, nothing more.

I can't seem to practice it successfully without them getting pissed that I did it. They feel cheated.