"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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This is different....

frusciante1234

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ok so heres the deal.....hb9 I went to high school with. Always very much wanted to **** her. I haven't actually seen her in years, but about 9 months ago I was very drunk and sent her a 3 paragraph message on facebook EXPLICITLY and in great detail stating the things I wanted to do to her. I realllllly don't know what I was thinking but whatever, I wasn't too worried about it. She gave me some awkward response and I gave her some awkward apology and that was that. It certainly reeked of desperation, which is where I was at at the time. So why am I concerned? Well I'm pretty sure I'm going to be running into her somewhere in a few weeks and obviously I'm going to feel like a complete LOSER around her now because of this. And not only do I want to avoid humiliation, but I would still love to game her! I'm just very curious to hear how some of you DJs would handle this
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Atom Smasher

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"Read any drunk messages lately?"

Then just go into the "How are you doing" routine. Don't apologize, just say the line and move to chit chat as if you couldn't care less about it.

It will dispose of the elephant in the room immediately and show that you are aware but unaffected.
 

frusciante1234

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ahhh I like it. You know I used to have some moderate DJ skills but I went through some things in my life which destroyed my confidence and my sense of self. This is how I probably would have handled this back in the day
 

VladPatton

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You sure as fück don't bring it up for starters. You get amnesia. It never happened. In the unlikely event she brings it up, you come in with "pffft, that? That was a crazy night, the doctor said I am much better now!"

You diffuse it and make it into a joke and continue to talk to her. Smoothly. Ultra smoothly. You now have no room for error. Next time, keep your head and your wang in check.

Never give them written proof. I hope for your sake she didn't forward that letter to all her friends as a gag.
 

Atom Smasher

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Vlad has a good point... I should have said that you should only bring it up and joke about it if you do see that the elephant is indeed in the room. Otherwise forget about it as if it never happened. Just don't go up to her and start apologizing about it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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goundra

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If I EVER lost control of my mind or body enough to get drunk, I'd suicide. WTF is in people's heads, anyway. Do you hate yourself THAT much? Are you not aware of the risks that you are running? Someone could EASILY kill you and get away with it, while you are drunk. Much less sodomize or beat the crap out of you. Your judgement is GONE, so you don't CARE if you drive while endangering others, etc.
 

Atom Smasher

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When I was a lad of 18, that was the legal drinking age. For two years I would hit the bars, get drunk, the usual stuff kids do.

After 19, it was out of my system and I went about the business of life. I couldn't do it anymore. Loss of self-control is indeed risky and can open up a world of sorrow, which you won't even know about till you sober up.
 

TheWolfMan

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Just act like it never happened, and try gaming her. Or if you want to just get it out of the way and dismiss it use Atom Smasher's suggestion.
 

frusciante1234

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thanks guys. and please don't judge. If you haven't been there, you'll never know. I've now been clean from drugs and alcohol for 4 months
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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