"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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this is a must read...most of us have been here

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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J

Jukeboxhero

Senior Don Juan
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Wow, that really sucks man.

But when you say most of have been there, do you mean St. Lauderdale or having friends who were shot by cops? I've been fortunate enough to have NEVER had anyone that I know of be shot by the police.
 
P

pimpfromdayone

Master Don Juan
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It all could have been avoided if the drunk dumbass knew how to put his foot on the brake or put the e-brake on. His drunk ass probably had the thing in reverse with his foot on the gas for all we know....
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

S

spider_007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
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Location
ontario
i thought the guy was shut with a shot gun, what the hell is a cop doing with his shotgun out (they don't exacly carry that on their belt.)
 
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