This girl just SPIT in my face..

[toddC]

Okay fellas,

Going back to my older threads, this is still about the same girl.

A little background information: Me and this girl, lets call her J, hooked up a few times. At the same time she was hooking up with me she had another guy that she was hooking up with also. I didn't really care about him because I just wanted some a$$ but then I started developing feelings for her..

Anyway, this other guy, lets call him K, asked J to his frat's formal. J said yes and they went. Now the night before his formal she was with me and slept over and what not. Now this past friday was HER formal. She asked him to go. I found out from one of her friends that she invited him and not me because he invited her to his formal. I mean that could be the reason or maybe not, who cares...

Anyway, after her formal, my roomate and his GF come back to my apartment, along with K, J, and about 6 other people. Now here I am sitting in my own apartment feeling awfully awkward because this girl that I like is sitting there with pretty much my arch enemy kissing and what not. At this point everyone is coming up to me saying please don't freak out please don't freak out blah blah blah. I'm like I'm fine. So I'm thinking to myself this girl pretty much did the equivalent of SPITTING IN MY FACE right there. Its like she knocked on the door, I opened, and then she just spit on me and went on as if it never happend.

So I pretty much wrote this girl off. Even if she was the hottest piece I've ever had and I still have feelings for her, I put her in the shes a ***** category and wrote her off.

But now heres the next thing. This formal was on friday. Her sorority had a philantropy thing on saturday. Me and my roomate bought tickets from his girflfriend and we promised we would show up so we did. So I get there and I see J. Didn't even look at her nothing just went on as if she didn't exist. But she came up to me, hugged me started talking and I was just like hey whats up and then ignored her. My friends and I sat down at a table and she sat right next to me for the WHOLE night. Whenever I moved to get something and sat somewhere else, she ended up right next to me. Even though I ignored her for the most of the night, she pretty much just followed me. She was even leaning over the table to give me a nice shot of her a$$ and pretty much just trying to get me to give her the time of day... But I didn't.

But now here I am, like an idiot let me add, because I still have feelings for this girl but if there is to be anything between us again I feel that she should be working for it.

Whats your guys' takes on this?

 

[penkitten]

spitting in someone's face is a very disgusting and disturbing thing, that one has no more words to express themselves that they must resort to vile.

if ever a woman spits in your face, i want you to remember my words:
get up, collect your things, walk away with out one word and do not look back.
she is no lady and can not handle things beyond her CONTROL.

 

[Nighthawk]

PK, read it again, she only 'spat in his face' figuratively, not literally.

 

[penkitten]

PK, read it again, she only 'spat in his face' figuratively, not literally.

oh my bad, i just saw spit in face and thought "nasty".

 

[L B]

Sounds like you created an expectation in the beginning that it is ok for her to be with other people. For all she knows, you're just a fb. You might be adding drama to the mix by having feelings for her and punishing her for acting the way she normally does.

 

[JackPrescott]

spitting in someone's face is a very disgusting and disturbing thing, that one has no more words to express themselves that they must resort to vile.

if ever a woman spits in your face, i want you to remember my words:
get up, collect your things, walk away with out one word and do not look back.
she is no lady and can not handle things beyond her CONTROL.

Negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is full. If a woman spits in my face, she gets spit on back in her face, period.

 

[MotownMack]

Whats your guys' takes on this?

Your falling victim to the same concepts people use in this forum to attract women-yeah, they can work on guys too. You want her because she is playing hard to get, and in most cases, what's fair is fair-game her back.

Why I am not saying to do this with this chick is cause she is obviously really suffering from LSE or just has issues-her making out with someone guy in front of you was a classless move. Regardless of what anyone tells you, there is a code of honor to this game-otherwise, you'll end up hating yourself at some point. She clearly crossed the line.

Add to that, you're saying you have feelings for her. You probably really don't, you just think you do. But even if you think you do, and you try to tame this obvious Viper, there is a good chance you'll come out on the losing end.

 

[penkitten]

Negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is full. If a woman spits in my face, she gets spit on back in her face, period.

why sink to the same vile lowness ?

 

[Interceptor]

So I'm thinking to myself this girl pretty much did the equivalent of SPITTING IN MY FACE right there

Whats your guys' takes on this?

That you are extremely immature, have weak Personal Boundaries, and are OVER REACTING and seem prone to exagerrating an offense.


It doesnt matter if the girl was doing more than kssing the guy, you 're the one who develeoped 'feelings' for her.

You're also the one who thought that this particullar female is obligated to you in any way.

And you obviously dont know how to correctly interpret a personal offense, and place it in the proper perspective.


You need to develop the skill of proper THREAT ASSESSMENT.
And understand just how much Damage can something like this really do to you.
Which is ...not much at all.


If you are THIS sensitive NOW, and start having these kinds of EXPECTAIONS NOW this early in life, you will be up for a miserable time in your adult life.

Quit over exagerrating peoples behavior.
Learn to understand that no one can truly hurt you in this way.
It is all in your head, your beleifs of what SHOULD have happened, and what She SHOULD have done.

This is not in your control.
You are not responsible for her behavior.
Stop having the belief system that
"People SHOULD do this for me, and SHOULD act that wayfor me."

Let it go.
You'll get a lot stronger, and feel freer.


And stop being so sensitive. When I saw the thread title I thought you WERE REALLY Spit on.

It was figurative.
Which is silly and immature.

"OMG!! Like...she totally ..like spit on me! Like OMG!!! GASP!!"



First, understand that no on eis here to live up to your personal expectations and standards.
Let this notion go.

Second, develop a strong personal boundary so that you can control yourself and your emotions, so that these things dont really 'get to you'.
You are in control of your resources and emotions, not HER or anyone else.
Let her do what she wants to do, because she WILL ANYWAY.
She's the one RESPONSIBLE for her behavior and her actions and decison about you, not YOU, man.

When you observe a person like this, you are in a much stronger postiion to CUT THEM OUT of your LIFE

You let go of any Emotional Attachment because you REALIZE that they are no good for you.

Do you want to love and be in love, and give away your precious personal resources to someone who DOES NOT APPRECIATE THEM??No , of course not. That would be irrrational!

Well, guess what?
Thats what youre doing.
So stop it, right now.

And dont let another person get into your head and emotional resources and run the show FOR YOU.

Dont give them that kind of control and power ove ryou and your peace of mind.


And please, please, please, STOP this hyper sensitive "OMG ! She Spit on me" nonsense.

 

[toddC]

Motown, I definately understand where you are coming from. I think I'm pushing for this because I rarely ever work for a girl I usually let them come to me ( I know not the DJ way but something I just do lol) but this was the first girl I've worked in a while and it felt good to pull her and I just don't want to come out as losing to another guy or whatever...

Also I have the WHOLE summer with her. We both go to school in Ohio, but she lives in IN and I live in NJ. BUT, we are both staying summer session (another 6 weeks of school together) and then she is staying in NYC for the remainder of the summer, which is yet another reason I would like to still be getting with her...

 

[chancer]

Get away from her completely.

 

[Enryu]

First of all good work with ignoring her next thing is forget her!!
Remember what does it mean having feelings for someone?
I read an excellent sentence somewhere here about feelings sorry cant seem to find it again but let me rephrase: "Being in love is nothing special its a emotion you can have for everyone."

Move on to your next "target" you should've moved on a long time ago when she was dating another guy. Thats a absolute no-go except you want to end like Spencer from King of Queens or your average AFC .

Yeah those are some Double-Standards you are allowed to meet other women but for her you have to be the only one! Remember you are a DJ you are the prize not her and i bet her A$$ aint the finest around .

Oh and you can repay her by getting a new women but the nr 1. thing you have to do is to forget her

 

[MotownMack]

I just don't want to come out as losing to another guy or whatever...

Right, that's understandable, but with this as your mindset, you're already putting yourself in a compromising situation, particularly with the way this girl has carried herself.

I am not gonna sit here and act like "not giving a sh1t" is so easy to do, or that I am good at it. At some level, the whole "not caring thing" takes some of the fun out of things. But when a girl behaves like this, and you have feelings for her and a mindset that makes her the prize, I can pretty guarantee you it's going to end with you getting screwed over.

Until you can honestly say you are not emotionally attached to the outcome, that you don't care if you lose her to another guy at some point-I would not pursue it.

 

[JackPrescott]

why sink to the same vile lowness ?

Because I fight at the same level as an enemy, any enemy.

 

[Eaglecreek]

spitting in someone's face is a very disgusting and disturbing thing, that one has no more words to express themselves that they must resort to vile

PK, read it again, she only 'spat in his face' figuratively, not literally.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
Reputation points for penkitting!

 

[BluEyes]

If anyone spits you in the face, diplomacy has failed.

Smack her in the front of the head, hard.

 

[Enryu]

no better yet kick her in the balls

 

[splinterkb]

Give her a nice punt to the cooter and sock her in her tits.

 

[Effington]

It sounds like it was established that you are friends with benefits, and you're trying to screw it up. She's sleeping around, so you should too.

If you can't handle that, then it's your fault.

 

[Señor Fingers]

You are throwing pearls before a swine here. Your emotions should be reserved for a woman who earns your trust. Right now it seems like you are just physically addicted to her, and confusing that for something real.

The solution to your problem is ridiculously simple.

Date other girls

This does 2 things for you

(1) Decreases her importance and your so-called "feelings" for her

(2) Gives her a taste of her own medicine.