(edit: Sorry that this post is kind of long, but I want to nail all the details on this thing to clear out any ambiguity)
So, I met this girl under pretty random circumstances about 4 months ago that I decided to go after because it was my final semester of undergrad and I was still a virgin, thus I was getting kind of desperate. She's kind of below my standards (probably could use to lose about 17-20 pounds) and she isn't quite on my wavelength intellectually (she's a Catholic whereas I'm an atheist, she seems a bit conservative, and she gets **** grades in her classes while I graduated magna *** laude and care a lot about academia), but regardless of these differences, we hit it off really well. There's something about talking to her that is just a lot of fun (probably just oxytocin and other hormones kicking in), and over time, I've started to think she's kinda cute actually.
So upon meeting her for like the second time, I decide to ask her out to go get some coffee right there. In my head, I'm thinking "Eh, she's kind of chubby, what could possibly go wrong if she rejects you? You've got nothing to lose" before biting the bullet and asking her out.
Considering that it's the first date I've ever been on, the coffee date goes well and we have a lot of fun conversing with each other. I find out that she's into karate, and as a sort of joke, I offer to show her how to grapple someday and she's all about it. She's sort of touchy feely (nothing beyond friendly stuff, though) and pretty flirty with me throughout the course of this whole thing.
During the week that follows the first date, we decide to go see a concert towards the end of the week with one of her friends. On the day of the concert, I tell her that I can't make it because I need to finish writing a gigantic paper due the following morning, and in response, she says something like "I have karate anyways and Beth couldn't make it." So I just shrug and say whatever because I don't really care if Beth can come or not.
A couple days later, I ask her if she wants to go see a movie at the drive-in theater sometime and she seems to be interested as we go through a bunch of movies we'd like to see. What threw me off here, though, is that she once again tells me her friend is going to come along. After clarifying that I intend for this drive-in thing to be a date, she tells me something along the lines of "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." While she had broken up with her bf of 2 years a month before this, I (rightly?) interpret the aforementioned statement as "I'm not into you in that way." So, after this, I cut my losses and end up questioning my entire approach to women after failing with a chubby girl, which leads to insane depression, and when combined with other things going on in my life last summer (graduating from college as a virgin with no friends due to being a commuter student the whole time, employment prospects being extremely shaky, and just general extreme confusion about where my life is heading), the thought of suicide crosses my mind at least a few times.
The most annoying thing during that time period is that this girl still insists on talking to me over AIM whenever I sign on as if she never rejected me before. I block her on AIM and facebook thinking that it will get rid of her, but it doesn't, because I end up bumping into her at the library while finishing up my senior thesis that summer and she insists on being friendly with me. So, I give in and decide to just be friends with her. At this point, I drop all my flirtatiousness and she seems to also, but the whole thing eventually fades out towards the end of the summer.
This brings us to a few weeks ago, when I had thought I had finally gotten her out of my head, she starts talking to me on AIM again every single time I sign on. I tell her that I might be dropping by the university library (I live right next to the school) to pick up some books to read between now and grad school this spring, and she insists upon meeting up while I'm.
When we meet up, one of the first things she brings up is my new job as an auditor and how much I make (it's a really good salary for a recent grad). During the time we spend hanging out that day, we get coffee and then go see a movie. The whole time, she's ramped up the flirty vibe hardcore and she starts touching my biceps when she wants to get my attention. During the coffee, there's some sustained direct eye contact, tons of teasing, and it generally feels like the first date I had with her, but a lot more intense on the flirting aspect. During this conversation, she also reminds me that I offered to show her how to grapple and that she'd really like me to teach her how sometime (wtf, this is certainly not the kind of **** you do with a guy unless you want him to pop a boner). On top of this, she keeps telling me how I'm way different from most of the people she's met, and how cool and funny I am.
So that brings us to the movie in which a lot of weird **** happens that I'm not sure about. We end up deciding to see some ****ty film with Johnny Depp in it, and she sits very close to me the entire time. I end up falling asleep with my head on her and she places her head on mine. After a while, she tries to wake me up by playfully touching my face. After I sleep through most of the movie, she finally succeeds in getting me up by elbowing me, and after this, I place my arm around her and kinda squeeze her a little bit. While she doesn't look bothered at all by this, I figure that if she wanted me to go any further, she'd place her head on my chest or something, so it ends up going nowhere. On the way back to my car from the movies, she tells me she had a lot of fun and that we should definitely hang out more.
What alarmed me some during the conversations we had is that she mentioned how most of her friends are dudes and somewhat adoringly mentioned this 29 year old grad student (she's like 20) a couple times she knows from karate. On top of this, she also mentioned how she'd be staying at a beach house with all her karate friends that weekend. Taken together with her telling me that she can't get drunk b/c she gets really affectionate, it doesn't take much of a leap in logic to conclude from these statements that she was probably trying to **** this grad student while there (it wouldn't blow my mind if she were a virgin, too, because she just gives off this vibe of inexperience big time). I've always heard that chicks don't tell this sort of stuff to guys they're interested in, so this really throws me off.
So, I've come to the conclusion that this chick was completely ****ing with my head during the last time I hung out with her, loved doing it, and doesn't see me as anything more than a platonic friend. This brings us to tomorrow in which I'm supposed to hang out with her again. What do I do? This thing has dragged on WAY longer than I initially wanted it to and I've invested way more feelings and thought into it than I ever could've even conceived I would for a girl I originally found to be sub-par.
Does her behavior during the last time we hung out suggest anything more than a platonic relationship? If not, **** it, I am just going to blow her off tomorrow, as I've spent way too much time on her for a girl that I only am attracted to because she's the only one in my life atm.
So, I met this girl under pretty random circumstances about 4 months ago that I decided to go after because it was my final semester of undergrad and I was still a virgin, thus I was getting kind of desperate. She's kind of below my standards (probably could use to lose about 17-20 pounds) and she isn't quite on my wavelength intellectually (she's a Catholic whereas I'm an atheist, she seems a bit conservative, and she gets **** grades in her classes while I graduated magna *** laude and care a lot about academia), but regardless of these differences, we hit it off really well. There's something about talking to her that is just a lot of fun (probably just oxytocin and other hormones kicking in), and over time, I've started to think she's kinda cute actually.
So upon meeting her for like the second time, I decide to ask her out to go get some coffee right there. In my head, I'm thinking "Eh, she's kind of chubby, what could possibly go wrong if she rejects you? You've got nothing to lose" before biting the bullet and asking her out.
Considering that it's the first date I've ever been on, the coffee date goes well and we have a lot of fun conversing with each other. I find out that she's into karate, and as a sort of joke, I offer to show her how to grapple someday and she's all about it. She's sort of touchy feely (nothing beyond friendly stuff, though) and pretty flirty with me throughout the course of this whole thing.
During the week that follows the first date, we decide to go see a concert towards the end of the week with one of her friends. On the day of the concert, I tell her that I can't make it because I need to finish writing a gigantic paper due the following morning, and in response, she says something like "I have karate anyways and Beth couldn't make it." So I just shrug and say whatever because I don't really care if Beth can come or not.
A couple days later, I ask her if she wants to go see a movie at the drive-in theater sometime and she seems to be interested as we go through a bunch of movies we'd like to see. What threw me off here, though, is that she once again tells me her friend is going to come along. After clarifying that I intend for this drive-in thing to be a date, she tells me something along the lines of "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." While she had broken up with her bf of 2 years a month before this, I (rightly?) interpret the aforementioned statement as "I'm not into you in that way." So, after this, I cut my losses and end up questioning my entire approach to women after failing with a chubby girl, which leads to insane depression, and when combined with other things going on in my life last summer (graduating from college as a virgin with no friends due to being a commuter student the whole time, employment prospects being extremely shaky, and just general extreme confusion about where my life is heading), the thought of suicide crosses my mind at least a few times.
The most annoying thing during that time period is that this girl still insists on talking to me over AIM whenever I sign on as if she never rejected me before. I block her on AIM and facebook thinking that it will get rid of her, but it doesn't, because I end up bumping into her at the library while finishing up my senior thesis that summer and she insists on being friendly with me. So, I give in and decide to just be friends with her. At this point, I drop all my flirtatiousness and she seems to also, but the whole thing eventually fades out towards the end of the summer.
This brings us to a few weeks ago, when I had thought I had finally gotten her out of my head, she starts talking to me on AIM again every single time I sign on. I tell her that I might be dropping by the university library (I live right next to the school) to pick up some books to read between now and grad school this spring, and she insists upon meeting up while I'm.
When we meet up, one of the first things she brings up is my new job as an auditor and how much I make (it's a really good salary for a recent grad). During the time we spend hanging out that day, we get coffee and then go see a movie. The whole time, she's ramped up the flirty vibe hardcore and she starts touching my biceps when she wants to get my attention. During the coffee, there's some sustained direct eye contact, tons of teasing, and it generally feels like the first date I had with her, but a lot more intense on the flirting aspect. During this conversation, she also reminds me that I offered to show her how to grapple and that she'd really like me to teach her how sometime (wtf, this is certainly not the kind of **** you do with a guy unless you want him to pop a boner). On top of this, she keeps telling me how I'm way different from most of the people she's met, and how cool and funny I am.
So that brings us to the movie in which a lot of weird **** happens that I'm not sure about. We end up deciding to see some ****ty film with Johnny Depp in it, and she sits very close to me the entire time. I end up falling asleep with my head on her and she places her head on mine. After a while, she tries to wake me up by playfully touching my face. After I sleep through most of the movie, she finally succeeds in getting me up by elbowing me, and after this, I place my arm around her and kinda squeeze her a little bit. While she doesn't look bothered at all by this, I figure that if she wanted me to go any further, she'd place her head on my chest or something, so it ends up going nowhere. On the way back to my car from the movies, she tells me she had a lot of fun and that we should definitely hang out more.
What alarmed me some during the conversations we had is that she mentioned how most of her friends are dudes and somewhat adoringly mentioned this 29 year old grad student (she's like 20) a couple times she knows from karate. On top of this, she also mentioned how she'd be staying at a beach house with all her karate friends that weekend. Taken together with her telling me that she can't get drunk b/c she gets really affectionate, it doesn't take much of a leap in logic to conclude from these statements that she was probably trying to **** this grad student while there (it wouldn't blow my mind if she were a virgin, too, because she just gives off this vibe of inexperience big time). I've always heard that chicks don't tell this sort of stuff to guys they're interested in, so this really throws me off.
So, I've come to the conclusion that this chick was completely ****ing with my head during the last time I hung out with her, loved doing it, and doesn't see me as anything more than a platonic friend. This brings us to tomorrow in which I'm supposed to hang out with her again. What do I do? This thing has dragged on WAY longer than I initially wanted it to and I've invested way more feelings and thought into it than I ever could've even conceived I would for a girl I originally found to be sub-par.
Does her behavior during the last time we hung out suggest anything more than a platonic relationship? If not, **** it, I am just going to blow her off tomorrow, as I've spent way too much time on her for a girl that I only am attracted to because she's the only one in my life atm.