"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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This girl is.. confusing me at best

Reckoning

Don Juan
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So there's this girl. She's kinda hot, 8.5/10 I'd say.

We have a lot of mutual friends and we flirt whenever we meet. We went to school together (20 min walk or so) 3 or 4 times and I'm charming her and flirting with her, with her doing the same, we really have fun. Whenever she sees me, she puts on this huge grin on her face and is all over me, punches me in the shoulder playfully and whatever. Now I know this will go straight to the friend zone if I don't do anything like ask her out.

There's the problem. The other day when we met ( I was going with a guy friend and she was going with 2 other girls, all 5 of us know each other well), she asks me "Wanna go home with me after classes? *grins*" Me: Well give me your number so we can meet up easily, I don't intend to hunt you after classes to go home with me.

She is still playful and basically says "no" after that. What the fvck.

Also, she seems to be a narcissist and sees most people as unworthy of her attention and time, which is why she only hangs out with a set of people. That's what I concluded and she said a mildly different version of it when we met once.

I feel like I have her in my palm, but something doesn't click, I mean why wouldn't she give me her number. Should I ask her for it again when the situation is right?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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TheBucketOfTruth

Master Don Juan
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Either way she is toying with you.

Scenario A is that she is interested in you, but is wanting to make things more of a game for her personal entertainment. In this case, you have to up your game. These are the kinds of girls that negs usually work well on. Bust her chops, and make fun of her. It will frustrate her to no end. If she keeps leading you on and then shutting you down, just ratchet down the attention you give her.

Scenario B is that she has no interest in you and is just flirting for fun to get a rise out of you and inflate her ego. In this case, there's really no reason to proceed further unless you think you can turn that around (usually you cannot). If this is the boat you end up in, then when she asks you something like "do you want to come home with me after class?" just say something like "I'd bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

She is just trying to wield some power here by messing with you. You thought everything was going your way, and then you had a "WTF moment." This is what she wanted. If she's resistant to giving you her number, then don't "ask" for it at all. Instruct her to give it to you when the time is right, or just isolate her later in the night after you guys have hung out in a group. Treat her like your bratty little sister is something many have recommended in the past, and I'm certain that there is already some of this dynamic going on. Just push on with the things that are going well and don't let her ruffle your feathers too much with her mind games.
 

Reckoning

Don Juan
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TheBucketOfTruth said:
Either way she is toying with you.

Scenario A is that she is interested in you, but is wanting to make things more of a game for her personal entertainment. In this case, you have to up your game. These are the kinds of girls that negs usually work well on. Bust her chops, and make fun of her. It will frustrate her to no end. If she keeps leading you on and then shutting you down, just ratchet down the attention you give her.

Scenario B is that she has no interest in you and is just flirting for fun to get a rise out of you and inflate her ego. In this case, there's really no reason to proceed further unless you think you can turn that around (usually you cannot). If this is the boat you end up in, then when she asks you something like "do you want to come home with me after class?" just say something like "I'd bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

She is just trying to wield some power here by messing with you. You thought everything was going your way, and then you had a "WTF moment." This is what she wanted. If she's resistant to giving you her number, then don't "ask" for it at all. Instruct her to give it to you when the time is right, or just isolate her later in the night after you guys have hung out in a group. Treat her like your bratty little sister is something many have recommended in the past, and I'm certain that there is already some of this dynamic going on. Just push on with the things that are going well and don't let her ruffle your feathers too much with her mind games.

Wow, thanks. That's exactly what she is doing, I wonder how I didn't see it before.
 
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