This girl is confusing me...am i LJBF/ or lover?

[solo1]

Man this girl is freakin weird, i thought i was and might still be gaming her.

date 1, kino and all the sorts. instant chemistry...attempted to kiss close. and all i got is the corner of her lips. end of date, She grabbed my hand and told me she had a great time. I did not # close her cause i wanted to wait till next week.

Date 2, even more kino..went skating. Ok she told me she's the only guy im seeing and she thinks im interesting. arm around shoulders, my hand on her lap, on the subway back and before her head leaned on my chest. I did not kiss close and left abruptly.

Get together in school, ****block friend joined. I just gave her a hug and we all had lunch as if we were friends. When we parted, we hugged and me/her kissed on cheeks. No real kino or anything this day.

yesterday she asked for my Chat sn.
Ok today museum...hugged kissed on cheeks.
lots of great kino, arm around shoulders and waist the whole time, hand even around hips too. She actually responded well and likes it when i do this. I lead her to a differenct art peace each time.

Then at the end we sat down and talked for a bit (which i now realize should never have done). Talked about stuff, told me how she was going to go away for 2-3 months back home ..and i said im going to miss her..(which was totally afc. )
I guess she tried to figure me out, she told what she thinks of me as a person from looking at my face. That i'm straightforward, honest ..blahblah type of guy. And i am, but i was dumb enough to confirm this. Anyway during this time i did try to grab her hand to comment on her nail colors, but it didnt seem like she wanted to let me.
Told her to close her eyes , that i had a present for her. Pulled Halls candy and put it in her hand..."you said you had a sort throat so i got you this." her, "aww thank you, i love honey flavor."


Then she brought up the fvckin friend word to my face...im thinkin OK SHYT, I NEED TO PULL HER BACK. ok a little while later, i go in to kiss like i did the first time...Again i got the freakin side of her lips.

Then she goes on about explaining her response to my first kiss close (the same with only getting the side of her lips). She siad something about not having my # and how abrupt it was cause she didnt expect it...(then wtf about this one?)
Ok, then i said...Ahah!! you're the shy type, i knew it!
Then i also say, "well it goes to show looks can be deceiving and you dont know everything about me!"

Then we exit museum, i put my hand around her waist, and she does too! so on...train, leave. end of day.

I realize im probably a little mellow with girls...and probably need to up the spontonaeity. I probably should be slightly more ****y and assertive with this chick...but im working on it.

Am i wrong to be honest? like if she asks me what train stop im getting off or how my day went, or whatever it's bad to be honest?
I fear that honesty may be one of my weaker traits with women.
Of course im not 100% honest, im not stupid enough to give away my mystery.

Anyway we have a blast talking about stuff, and we always have fun together. It's strange with this chick cause we have so much **** in common, and sometimes i can even read her like a psychic it's not even funny....
I have a good idea that she's the inexperienced and picky type of girls. but since the beginning till now she's been chasing me.
Anyway i think the next date i set, we're going to the damn theaters...ill make out with her all i want or force her!

 

[chili kat]

She's thinking about that 2-3 months she'll be gone and whether you're the type of guy to get mixed up with before that happens. The only thing you're doing now is probing into the trust/cheating/long term relationship area. It's a no win situation for you. You'll either have to make yourself out to be a swell, A-ok, I love you and will wait for you kind of guy or you'll just keep pushing her with your advances until it turns into a session on the couch with a psychologist (you), with life stories and past relationships included.

Keep it simple until she gets back and then try to take it further.

 

[solo1]

Originally posted by chili kat
She's thinking about that 2-3 months she'll be gone and whether you're the type of guy to get mixed up with before that happens. The only thing you're doing now is probing into the trust/cheating/long term relationship area. It's a no win situation for you. You'll either have to make yourself out to be a swell, A-ok, I love you and will wait for you kind of guy or you'll just keep pushing her with your advances until it turns into a session on the couch with a psychologist (you), with life stories and past relationships included.

Keep it simple until she gets back and then try to take it further.

it's around may/june she'll be gone for a few months.
You think so? well, if i only i truly was psychic. But i couldnt even say if this is what she's thinking.

Anyway all the signs point to --> lover
But we dont even hold hands or have gotten a proper kiss yet...which is quite frustrating....which points to ---> LJBF

 

[MacDiddy]

All signs points to waning attraction and interest levels...

You're doing to much asking being nice and dreamy, and not enough taking this booty for granted.

 

[AmIAFC]

Hugging, kissing, and all that mess doesn't always equate to high interest. I've been with girls that did all that mess, but when it was time for me to get my rod polished, they flaked. You've got to understand that being LJBF'd doesn't always equate to a total lack of intimacy. There are girls there who will gladly let you kiss them, hold their hands, and snuggle up with them, but nothing beyond that. I'm not saying that's the case with you, but keep this in mind.

 

[backbreaker]

If you have to ask, your LJB

 

[Monroe]

Hane you ever read "the art of seduction" by robert green? It contains useful info that can help you identify when a woman is playing YOU. Once you've identified her tactics it's much esier to counter.

 

[tmpgstx]

I'd have to agree with Chili (are you a woman)? Women that like men always think in the future in a LTR sense. In the beginning she chased you and said you were the only guy she was seeing and then brought up the 'friend' bit. It's sounds like she is confused and unsure and most likely attributed to what Chili said.

Don't try to force it .. let her do that more. You're not making it much of a challenge for her anyway by being somewhat sappy and accepting kissing on the cheeks. She knows she has you if and when she wants you, which may be enough to keep her confused and not decisive in going for you. Put some value on yourself and be somewhat distant.

 

[solo1]

Originally posted by tmpgstx

Don't try to force it .. let her do that more. You're not making it much of a challenge for her anyway by being somewhat sappy and accepting kissing on the cheeks. She knows she has you if and when she wants you, which may be enough to keep her confused and not decisive in going for you. Put some value on yourself and be somewhat distant.

you're probably right, i've been seeing her for a little over 2 weeks. Lately this week she's been txting me daily and such but i reply and end up saying "ill ttyl, or we'll talk more tomorrow."
And end up asking how each other's day went.

But what's strange today is that she complimented me a lot. From the way i dress, to my personality type, to wanting to see my design work...I on the other hand rarely compliment her.

anyway she's revealed a lot about herself to me, and i think my IL is starting to wane. Cause each time i see her, i can barely think of anything to ask about her.

As for the kissing thing, it might just be my fault cause both times my lips were slightly chapped. And it probably was too abrupt (out of the blue)

Perhaps it would be best if we didn't talk so much...or saw each other less often.

 

[flexion_]

Sounds like she has LJBF'd you. I'd just chill out and make contact in a few months when she gets back.

 

[Distant Light]

Seem to me you did dp this naturally. From day 1 (depending how long yall were together) you should have kissed her. From way it sounds it sounds like you went real slow and seems like you didn't attract her enough. Sound to me like your in "Friend Zone"

I think what you did was rush through everything pretty quick and didnt make the kino flow naturally. By time you even went for the kiss close you should have atleast alrdy did some of the following:

Hand holding
Arm in Arm
Sitting on lap
embrace
Smelling

You could have done a few kino tests to see if she is comfortable with your touching. I think you lacked in that, because then kissing would be like a big thing when i finally do it.

 

[solo1]

I am pretty comfortable with the kino thing and she loves it when i kino her. Her on the other hand it appears takes some time for her to open to the idea of kinoing me. She's taking it really slow.

Anyway i have a strange feeling she's insecure about her sexuality. Today she was wearing this sweater that was slightly revealing with a V shape of her collar bone to chest. But she ended up using her scarf to cover it. I can tell she's the inexperienced type of girl cause she's picky.

whether she's open to a relationship or just wants to be friends i dont think i'd mind, guess ill just have to see how i play this. And if im correct that she is inexperienced, then she's looking for the LTR material. Because since the beginning, she hasnt played any games with me and is very honest about everything.

In addition, if she does want to go the slow LTR route...being a mystery/challenge does go out the window...so all the DJ rules taught here dont apply completely.

Anyway it was weird, the whole time today my tone of voice was lowered to match hers...probably subconscious. I dont know why i did or if this should be normal?