"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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This girl i like is scared of me, what to do? Help Needed!

polsdofer

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Im gonna try and run this down for you with out trying to make it complicated or long.

So this girl i like started dating someone i dont like in may, i told her that i liked her a couple of days later. I talked to her alot after that and i told her how much i liked her and that i want to make her happy and i also said that the more i tell you the more im ****ing this up for me but she said i wasnt. It was in the middle of June that her BF went away for awhile so she came to my town to hang with me and according to my friends she was really liking me to the point where she was trying to break up with her BF cuz of his drug problem but she said it was actually cuz of other reasons and that i was the other reason and the way we were talking it sounded like we were gonna be together in a couple of days. Then her BF came back and said she realised that she missed him and that i would have to wait.

She was always telling me she had stuff she wanted to say to me but didnt want to cuz she didnt want to feel guilty about saying it while she is with her BF.

Last weekend i told her i miss her and she said "awwwwww i miss you too" and i convinced her to come see me. I was trying to get her to say what she wanted to say to me but couldnt so i told her to pretend that her BF is not an issue and she said its kinda hard to when im talking to him right now, she told me there she was trying to break up with him again cuz of his drug problem. Another girl that hates the girl i like saw us together and told her BF that we were together and thought she was cheating on him with me so she told me she thought it would be a good idea if we didnt see or talk to eachother for awhile. I texted her the next morning and told her i couldnt help but text her to say goodmorning beautiful to her and she said awww to me back.

Then maybe 5 days ago i told her i was sleepy and was gonna take some pills with vodka as a joke, i didnt mean anything by it. She told me not to, i asked her if i was worrying her and she said yes and i said dont worry it will be over soon and she said WTF? I asked whats the matter, she said nothing and that she dont care and that she was gonna find something to do goodbye. Of course i realised that it was a mistake and i apologised to her and she said i was fine and i knew it wasnt fine but i said i understand if you dont want to talk for awhile, she said ok.

I talked to her a couple days later but it wasnt the same, it wasnt where she was like showing me signs of her liking me anymore.

Yesterday i was talking to her telling her to go to town with my but she said she cant and then i said ill see you in a little bit and she said shut up lol, i then asked what she would do if i showed up and she said she would freak out and i asked why? do i scare you or something? and she said yes, i told her to tell me and she said why and i said cuz i want to know what i did to scare you and i havent talked to her since yesterday afternoon.

So my questions are
Should i stop talking to her? for how long? Should i wait for her to text me?

I honestly can not see myself with out her, just need help please.

Also what does DJ mean?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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MaxLove

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Dude. Cut her loose. You are scaring her. Read the DJ Bible. You are being a freaking chump right now.
 

dereklovesugly

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Ya, you're being a Wuss. You shouldn't be telling girls how much you like them, you should he showing her.... With your d!ck. Also, please stop with the run on sentences..... It's annoying.
 

Blackmm

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Any time a woman says anything to you about you beginning with "awwwwwwww", red flag. They need to save that sh!t for puppies and kittens.
 

Rogue

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Never be the first to say, "I like you." Never be the first to say, "I miss you." Never verbalize game—these things must organically bubble up through sexual tension (from her), so if you need to verbalize yourself that means the sexual tension is not there.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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DJDamage

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polsdofer said:
Should i stop talking to her? for how long? Should i wait for her to text me?

I honestly can not see myself with out her, just need help please.
You are so far up the friendzone ladder and have done so many mistakes that I cannot see this girl ever wanting to be with you even if you start being smooth today. Sorry that is the harsh reality but the faster you accept this the sooner you can move on.

Stop talking to her for good, she won't leave her boyfriend and even if she does it won't be for you. All her promises of being with you is to not hurt your feelings as well as for you to keep giving her the attention she craves while giving you false hope.

Read the DJ Bible, you are a classic AFC (stands for Average Frustrated Chump). Hopefully once you read the DJ Bible and apply it to your life, you will understand what you did wrong and you won't do it again.
 

Jblitz59

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So this girl i like started dating someone i dont like in may, i told her that i liked her a couple of days later. I talked to her alot after that and i told her how much i liked her and that i want to make her happy and i also said that the more i tell you the more im ****ing this up for me but she said i wasnt.
Mistake #1,2,3
Why tell a girl you like her?
1.) OK 'I have/had a Crush' is ok, but 'I like you' makes some girls eyes widen in fear..
2.) Instead of telling her you like her, show her you like her. Kino's more subtle and her subconscious mind will tangle with your conscious mind
3.) You told her how much you liked her ruining the mystery of what typically torments the girl. I agree talking is easy, actions are hard. But we all gotta speak through our actions if we want to come out on top.
Are you with me?
 

sexysuave

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I honestly can not see myself with out her, just need help please.

Also what does DJ mean?

You will be fine without her.. 2 years from now you will be laughin at your self for feeling like this... 10 years from now you will have felt like this about probably 3 or 4 different girls.. each of these girls you will feel like you "can't live without" until you meet the next one that you like better,,, and trust me... you ALWAYS meet someone you like better.. your mind is playing tricks on you due to lack of experience.. just totally forget about this girl bro and commit your time to meeting tens and hundreds of girls and improving your life in every category.. education, fitness, finances,, more girls.. things will come around for you.. but whatever you do, do NOT contact this girl anymore.. let it go my man, let it go!! chalk it down as a loss and move on, you never even had her!
 

Warrior74

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Leave it.

Leave it.

Leave it.

Life goes on after your parents and siblings die and your children grow up and stop calling. Life goes on after this chic. Leave it.
 

Konada

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Read the DJ bible before asking questions like this. Much of it covers chump behavior you're showing right now
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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