"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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this girl gave me this response today

rapidfire

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ive known her for a short while and we get along okay. we were talking and i hypothetically asked her if i asked her out if she would say yes. her response was it would depend on how i asked. now what exactly does that mean? i was going to ask her out at that point but she is very good looking so i didn't know whether to proceed or not.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Buddha_Mind

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It means, ask her out casually and in a positive way -- something fun. If you make it sound like a chore or that her acceptance will validate your life, than this will turn her off.

Just be fun, light. Ask in a way that doesn't set you up for failure (ie, "I was about to go ______ [some fun thing], want to join me?")
 

rapidfire

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Buddha_Mind said:
It means, ask her out casually and in a positive way -- something fun. If you make it sound like a chore or that her acceptance will validate your life, than this will turn her off.

Just be fun, light. Ask in a way that doesn't set you up for failure (ie, "I was about to go ______ [some fun thing], want to join me?")
yes she did also say if i asked her out in a dorky way that it would be bad
i'm going to ask her out next time i see her but i have a hard time thinking she is into me because she's really good looking, like out of my league.
 

Buddha_Mind

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She is clearly giving you some major signs here buddy -- and be happy she said that.

Just go in confident, she's just a person like you and me. Don't let her looks cover up the fact that behind them is a human mind, all full of insecurities and fears.

Make her feel comfortable and light, believe in yourself.

Most importantly -- believe in yourself :)
 

xdreamz

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rapidfire said:
i hypothetically asked her if i asked her out if she would say yes.
how did you hypothetically ask her?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Warrior74

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rapidfire said:
ive known her for a short while and we get along okay. we were talking and i hypothetically asked her if i asked her out if she would say yes. her response was it would depend on how i asked. now what exactly does that mean? i was going to ask her out at that point but she is very good looking so i didn't know whether to proceed or not.

ouch. you got into a hypothetical conversation. That's never good. The only way to proceed now is with boldness.

She said it would depend on how you asked. In my opinion that means, don't be the type of chickenshyt who ask hypothetical question and then ask "well what do you want to do". When you ask her out, ask with confidence, tell her where you guys are going, and tell her its going to be fun. Remove all doubt about the chickenshytness you showed by asking a hypothetical. Good luck.
 

King_Supreme

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it doesnt seems like shes interested at all. if she was then she wouldnt have said "it depends" she wouldve said "yes". shell probably just go wit u for the hell of it but i doubt shell even let u kiss close. its possible but i doubt it. dont waste ur time trying to game her, just keep her as a friend. besides if u were going to ask then u shouldve did it right then.
 

( . )( . )

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rapidfire said:
i hypothetically asked her if i asked her out if she would say yes. her response was it would depend on how i asked. now what exactly does that mean?
It means when you stop asking girls ridiculous questions you stop getting ridiculous, cryptic and ultimately meaningless answers.
 

JDA70

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yes she did also say if i asked her out in a dorky way that it would be bad
i'm going to ask her out next time i see her but i have a hard time thinking she is into me because she's really good looking, like out of my league.
Out of your league? what kind of horsecrap is that?
Don't think like that dude it's loser boy thinking.
Shes totally in your league.
 

horaholic

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Holy shyt! titties is back!

Anyway, to the op: What she meant by that was "I might go out with you if you grow a pair and ask me straight up, while you still have 'manpoints' with me, instead of this 'hypothetically,' pvssiness, but until then, you're going to sink into the friendzone."
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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rapidfire

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i say out of my league not because i am ugly or anything. i actually like my looks and think i'm okay. i say out of my league because i've never really gotten much dates, especially with really good looking girls. she is really good looking so it's like "whoa, can't believe it".

i am going to ask her out next time i see her. i was going to ask her to come along today because i did some fun stuff right after but i started thinking about whether i'd say it right so i lost my nerve heh, :\

thanks
 

slaog

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rapidfire said:
i say out of my league not because i am ugly or anything. i actually like my looks and think i'm okay. i say out of my league because i've never really gotten much dates, especially with really good looking girls. she is really good looking so it's like "whoa, can't believe it".

i am going to ask her out next time i see her. i was going to ask her to come along today because i did some fun stuff right after but i started thinking about whether i'd say it right so i lost my nerve heh, :\

thanks

So what? If she asks turn it around by telling her you're very picky about who you date. ;) This usually makes a good impression on women.
 

Desdinova

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I really love how you pretended to ask her out, and in turn she pretended to give you a vague non-answer.

If you're going to ask out a woman, just fvcking do it instead of being a pvssy and using hypothetical bull5hit
 

jophil28

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horaholic said:
Holy shyt! titties is back!

Anyway, to the op: What she meant by that was "I might go out with you if you grow a pair and ask me straight up, while you still have 'manpoints' with me, instead of this 'hypothetically,' pvssiness, but until then, you're going to sink into the friendzone."
^^ Yep, That is the 'womanspeek' translation of her reaction.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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jophil28

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Duece.
 

jophil28

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rapidfire said:
ive known her for a short while and we get along okay. we were talking and i hypothetically asked her if i asked her out if she would say yes. her response was it would depend on how i asked. now what exactly does that mean? i was going to ask her out at that point but she is very good looking so i didn't know whether to proceed or not.
Geez, if you are going to go 'hypothetical' , at least say something at least amusing or entertaining, and a little ****y.

You to a HB," Hey, let me float this by you . Hypothetically speaking, if an interesting guy asked you, would you be open to going out ?"

She, "Hypothetically ? Maybe, who is he?"

You, " Oh, just a guy I know who thinks that you are moderately attactive."

HB drops jaw to the floor and says," MODERATELY ! WTF !"

You, "Yeah, he is extremely picky- much like myself. "

HB. ( big grin but detects a loss of the frame) " Oh really ! What makes HIM so special?"

You, " OK, I can hear your intrigue already. What's your number. He will call you ."

Blah blah ...

You dig ?
 
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