"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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This forum is like the movie Groundhog Day

evansblue

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It's one thing that always bothered me with this site and I could never put my finger on it. It seems like it's stuck in a "time warp". The advice, the members, the techniques, the problems, etc. It's all a monotonous, regurgitated parallel that's never really evolved or advanced. I've been a long time lurker (since 2004). It doesn't seem like anybody really makes any progress. Sure, people say they do, but just looking through the pages and using the search bar paint a different picture. It's the majority of the members dealing with the same obstacles over and over and over and over. It's persisted for years, and I'm not talking about the people who just recently registered and have no direction. They're the exception.

It's frustrating because I'm clicking on all cylinders in my dating life and have given some pretty good advice that I know guys here have appreciated, but for some reason they relapse and ask for advice on a topic I, or somebody else has already addressed. Using logical reasoning, this doesn't make any sense to me. It's gotten to the point where giving helpful advice is completely redundant.

"Is this a sh!t test?" "Should I cut contact?" "Why hasn't she called back?"

Anybody who's been here longer than three weeks has no business asking those questions, yet for some reason it comes from the ones who've been here for years. I think people need to take an introspective approach and ask themselves what this forum is really about, because apparently overcoming hurdles and succeeding is in another realm. The history of the content has proved it.

Can somebody explain to me what is going on here?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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The Experience

Don Juan
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There are a number of reasons, but mostly because they just rather post then look through the golden information that's right in front of them. This is probably because they think that their problems have never seen before (lol).
 

Mike32ct

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To be fair, it's always easier to give advice than to take it. An outsider can be objective and tell him to dump the b*tch. But when you're the guy with the oneits, it's not so easy. Even experienced guys get tripped up sometimes.

But I'm not disagreeing with your post. I'm just giving a different angle.
 

handle

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You may need to take into account that people who've figured it out probably stop posting. I found this place less and less useful (more detrimental, really) once I got on my own two feet.
 

Alex DeLarge

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Yeah, I know what you mean. I think most posters on this site go for typical bar/club trash that just looks good on the outside, but is severely rotten on the inside though. It's really their fault for the problem.. Yet they rely on others to solve that problem. I've been here myself too so I'm not excluding myself from this statement.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Scars

Master Don Juan
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This place (or rather, SOME of the people here) have evolved. Unfortunately, the majority of the members here are still clinging to old beliefs. If you've been here since 2004 then I'm sure you've heard the term "unplugged", or "matrix" thrown around a few times. Reading the bible is the first step. Then you begin to apply it to real life situations, and then develop your own theories and try them out (everything here is NOT set in stone) which is one of the reasons why I also call the bible garbage at times. It is valuable, but rather, I'd like to see people come up with their own theories and try them out, and understand why it worked/failed.

Eventually, having dated awhile, or simply just OPENING your eyes, you will come across the Matrix. Many guys have acknowledged it's existence, but a lot of guys here don't want to believe it, thus, still clinging on to old beliefs. They still want to believe there are GOOD "quality" women out there, who won't hurt them, and are "different". You might have to "unplug" yourself several times before the idea finally sinks in fully. A lot of the men here are going through this as we speak.

This is why this forum is divided into two groups. You have the morality DJ's (old believers, who still cling to the bible, and pooks old texts, hoping one day they will find their "love"). Then you have the realists/a-moral DJ's who understand woman completely in it's true ugly form, and have no "morals" as far as lying/cheating or doing something ruthless in order to get what he wants (sex).

Now, there is a popular trend (that I have found myself jumping into a lot) is the idea that most men here suffer from some sort of personality disorder, and in turn, attract other women with personality disorders. The whole NPD male running into BPD girl etc...

If you honestly feel like you are "stuck" or feel you can't "advance" anymore in your game, then pick up a psychology book. It's what I've been doing lately, and I'm learning new sneaky little tricks (that weren't even originally intended for seduction) and putting them into use constantly.

Point is, I believe this place has changed a lot. Granted, some of the best members (IMO) have left us. KontrollerX was one of them, for sure.

But you must understand, this place is divided in half basically. This is generally why arguments start. Someone tries to pass off advice that contradicts their beliefs, or rather "moral radar". It is what it is. There are still some amazing posters here though. Just keep your eyes peeled, you'll know when you spot them, and pay close attention to what they have to say.

-Scars
 

Solomon

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handle said:
You may need to take into account that people who've figured it out probably stop posting. I found this place less and less useful (more detrimental, really) once I got on my own two feet.
^^This!

When I first started here 3 years ago, there were some solid guys posting FR's guys like Jon24, Snowplowman, Rushingdude123,Noob, Guywhoneedshelp, Slickaz, Daddythepimp, Daygameguy. etc etc

There were so many solid and great Fr's that were filled with quality and now it's nothing but KBJ phaggotry
 
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