This crap has got to stop... rant

[slitherjef]

Sorry, I just got to vent some... about myself.

With the ladies, it just feels like I can't get no where. I mean, the most success I have had was with the hot mom at work, I got her number, and it went down hill fast and now things are a bit awkward. Oh well, screw it. I will not lie, I still would not mind being with her, but right now I am to the point I don't even care. So that pretty much is all of my success. I got a phone number and got no where. Whoo hoo.

Of course I feel like I can't get now where, but can't get anywhere unless you try right?

I missed a couple chances... wait, scratch that, I rejected myself is more like it.

Tonight on the bus, I was sitting down on the way home from work listening to my tunes. A pretty latin girl got on the bus and sits in the seat in front of me. Of course I don't let her see me checking her out, a quick glance and that was it. WTF!?

I instantly start thinking how can I get to her, then some one does me a favor... and old friend (I am guessing) sits next to her and talks some, and unbeknownst to them, giving me something to open up a conversation with, that is, if the guy leaves and she stays on the bus.

A few stops later, she has her guy friends phone number (I assume) and he gets off the bus. Now she is alone. Hmmm... I should try to talk with her, even had the conversation piece. Just needed to get her attention and talk. How to go about that?

How about this, the hottie starts asking around for a pen, starting with the lady in the next seat on the other side of the bus. Then to the two girls sitting behind me, all the time I had my headphones on... Trying to think of a way to get her attention...

I seen she was asking for something, looking in my direction (not at me, the two girls behind me) so I pull off my headphones and lean in a bit....

She ask for a pen. Of all the damn things. A pen. I did not have one what is worse I had her attention... a situational opener ready (Something like, "its great seeing friends you have not seen in a while" or something along that track)

But she turned back around and I put my headphone back on. W.T.F!? This should have been a strike out, but there was another chance. Out of the corner of my eye, I see another guy a bit further back with a pen, I grab it from him to give to her. Hmmm... headphones still on and her back is to me, how to I get her attention? Tap her shoulder stupid! So I did. She turned and I handed her the pen. Another chance to talk to her. Nope. She scribbled something down, probably the guys number. Turns back around gives me the pen to pass back. Hey, hows about yet another chance to talk her up.
Strike, what, 4? 5? At anyrate, my stop is comming up and I am running out of time....

Shesh... I had like 10-15 min to talk to her. Ample chances to just chat her up. Did not even need to get her number. Just chat with her, get used to conversations and stuff with an attractive woman, who seemed friendly.

Shesh... now I feel bad. And a bit niffed that I did not have the balls to talk to this girl. I mean, shesh, what is she going to do? Move to another seat, tell me to fk off? Slug me? Ignore me? Give me her number? Get off at my stop and come home with me?

Guess I will not know now. But at least I might start to carry a pen, but then at this rate, It will probably just dry up.

Sorry, I just had to vent. I feel a little better know. I just need to stop, grab my nut sack and go for it. Thats all I got to do. Screw what people think, right? I don't have to impress anyone.

Why did I not just go for it with her? Probably a bunch of reasons, most likly THINKING too much.

 

[Obsidian]

haha, "hot mom" is code for "hot hor." Can't you do any better than raising someone's dna?

So you're upset because you "struck out" with a single mom and a girl who just got done getting sarged by some other guy? Give yourself a break. You can't pick up every girl in the world. And even if you could, you most likely wouldn't want to.

 

[backbreaker]

I instantly start thinking how can I get to her, then some one does me a favor... and old friend (I am guessing) sits next to her and talks some, and unbeknownst to them, giving me something to open up a conversation with, that is, if the guy leaves and she stays on the bus

you are thinking yourself out of ass. don't think, just react.

I"m a smart guy. I'm actually very smart. however, it was when I dumbed down in the sense where I stopped thinking so damn much when I got anywhere. let your instincts do the talking

 

[slitherjef]

Yeah, thats my problem... thinking. That and I have a really bad habit of checking out some one or look at them and when they look at me, I look away, acting like I don't want to get busted looking at them. And I often think negative. This is what has got to stop.

I mean, seriously, what is a hot girl gonna do to me if she sees me checking her out? Or look her in the eyes, which I have trouble doing also.

Last week I actualy locked eyes with a cute girl at work, just to see if I could do it. And I did, and I think I broke contact. Okay, it was not full on eye contact, she looked at me out of the corner of her eyes. Must of lasted liked 5 seconds while I was talking to some one else. Her eyes are blue

Anyway, Got to think of the plus side of that, nothing bad happened, but I started to get the feeling something happaned. Over the course of a couple hours, she made her way back to my area in the back room several times, a route that she did not really have to take. I have talked to her, mostly fluff talk, as I am not totaly sure I even want to attempt to go for her, not because she is 18, or that she works there, I am just unsure if I want her.

At any rate, nothing bad happened. I just got to stop thinking and just doing and saying fk the outcome

 

[The Sperminator]

This post made me laugh. The way your write is hilarious to me. So detailed. I thought this was an action movie or something lol. Anyways yeah you overthink. All you got to do is make eye contact and smile. Then just say hi hows it going blah blah blah now you are in a conversation about something. Thats it. Kind of hard to do when she is infront of you though. When she asked you for a pen you should of said something like why you want to write my number down, do it jokingly though or just be like I'm just joking and then move into a convo.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Man **** that *****.She wasnt looking at you so why spit G?**** her...


You gotta have heart to do this.Are you man enough to do this ****?you seem a little moist right now to me..

Did you even call the old ***** ever?Then how where you supposed to **** her?Dont bother now if you didnt..

Try to sign up to some classes as well..Cold approaches arent easy..

 

[slitherjef]

This post made me laugh. The way your write is hilarious to me. So detailed. I thought this was an action movie or something lol.

Hope you ment that in a good way

I guess the detail comes from the fact I have a history of writing short stories. I should probably give you thanks for your comment quoted above, it has been a long time since I actualy wrote. Perhaps I should sit down and give it a whirl again. Or mix it up some and cross writting with the guitar I play and maybe write a song.

But on to the post, yeah. I over think. And I don't know why giving a hottie eye contact is so friggin hard. I know. Just DO IT!!

 

[slitherjef]

Man **** that *****.She wasnt looking at you so why spit G?**** her...


You gotta have heart to do this.Are you man enough to do this ****?you seem a little moist right now to me..

Did you even call the old ***** ever?Then how where you supposed to **** her?Dont bother now if you didnt..

Try to sign up to some classes as well..Cold approaches arent easy..

Yeah, I tried calling. Actualy did call. Talked to her for maybe 30 sec total and half that time she was telling me she would call me back because she was talking with her friend about cars. So f-it a bit later I asked her in person to hang out. Of course I got shot down

Oh well, I probably jacked something up. She don't really even talk to me at work anymore. Every couple days its, "hey whats up" and shes like, "whats up" Guess I should switch it up and next time this happens, just say, "I asked you whats up, first" or something. Im pretty much sure things are done. Of course it does look like some other guy is following her around like a puppy...

 

[The Sperminator]

It was a compliment. You're a good writer. I usually wouldn't read long rants like that.

 

[Micheal Moon]

I think a lot of us guys on this site have a problem of thinking too much, like backbreaker said.

We overintellectualize this situation, the possibilities, the consequences of what might and what will happen, and when you keep thinking its like your'e running on a mental treadmill, like a hamster in a cage. which we all of course goes nowhere.

Last week, I cold approached this girl. Now I was in the club and I saw her looking, I glanced over a couple of times. I haven't cold approached in a while I admit so I was really rusty. Things that were running through my head were

"Should I go now?"

"What do I open with?"

"Is she with that guy, is it her BF?"

and so on.

I eventually approached her later that night, it was actually going well, but I cut the convo short when the rest of the guys she came with came back.

When opportunities come you have to seize it, or it is gone.

Another thing is. I think a lot of guys put unecessary pressure on ourselves to be successful when we approach. We think we HAVE to get a number,email or whatever.

This is unecessary. I think the approach should be what it is, an approach to see what this girl is about, what the vibe is. Like Big Don always says, " you can always walk away".

However, the approach must have the right mental approach.

I think the approach must be out of wanting to get to know/interacting with the girl, not one of a submissive hope she is receptive to you. That kills you from the get go.

When your'e in there to getting to know/interacting with the girl I think its important to get the mix of acting on your masculinity so that she knows you see her as an interest. That's where flirting and all that comes in.

If the vibe is not there to get to that point move on.

 

[backbreaker]

seirously.. just DO. don't THINK. if you see a hot ass, let the woman know her ass is hot. I mean i have a little more tac than that but it's better way better than doing nothing.

95% of the problem is just saying hi. trust me. half the time she is relieved that you even are looking at her. you'd be surprised how "normal" most women are. some HOT ass women. my old oneitis.. who can shut down a bar when she walks in.. we talk or used to and she would tell me.. "I saw this cute guy today at wal mart. I wonder if he liked me.. well he didn't talk to me, BB do you think my nose is big (yes)? is that why he didn't talk to me? Do i need surgery?"

woman... he's probably a member here, fawning over you. however it makes me realize how.. normal women are. dude.. they are women. they don't bite (some of them do.. in a good way)

 

[Canadian Catnip]

Here is something to think about.

Next time you are listening to tunes and you see a hot HB that you want to talk too, start by turning off your Ipod, taking the headphones out of your ears and putting them away. Wearing headphones is a great way of saying "Don't bother me."

If she notices you taking the headphones off then say to her. "Batteries went dead." or something.

Doing cold approaches is critical for learning these skills. I started doing cold approaches about a month ago, and even though I only do a couple a week I have already seen a Hugh improvement in my approach confidence.

Learning cold approaches is like learning to jump off the high dive. No amount of thinking or study or anything will help you until you step off that thing.

Believe it or not the best conversation opener is to talk about the weather. "Hot today eh." Consider talking about the weather as training wheels until you get a few approaches under your belt. Then you will see how easy it actually is.

 

[backbreaker]

BEtter yet... take them off and make her listen to what you are listening too "hey you.. you look cool tell me what you think about this"

my ass theory at it's finest..e very man passes up at least 1 peice of easy ass a day..

 

[slitherjef]

Thanks for the input all

 

[On Point]

I agree about the headphones, but don't make an excuse. You're already giving her power if you act like you're accountable to her or something. Turn it off because you want to turn it off, then make some EC and start a conversation.

Like these guys are saying, just go for it. Assume you're going to screw up about twenty of these interactions. Define victory as making an approach at all. Just look at it like an adventure and try to have fun with it.

Here is something to think about.

Next time you are listening to tunes and you see a hot HB that you want to talk too, start by turning off your Ipod, taking the headphones out of your ears and putting them away. Wearing headphones is a great way of saying "Don't bother me."

If she notices you taking the headphones off then say to her. "Batteries went dead." or something.

 

[CRDJit]

What's the worst that can happen? She doesn't answer back? Well fck her she isn't worth your time! Awkward conversation that leads nowhere? Remember she's half responsible for the conversation! Anything that could have happened is better than this. Look at all the regrets you're having right now just for one missed approach! You stated the answer yourself: we THINK too much!!