"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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This coulda been bad - new developments. What to do

slitherjef

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This kind of sucks...

Found out some interesting information today reguarding that chick. I talked to a fellow co-worker who knew the game. I ended up telling him about the chick and red flags flew up. The girl is only 21 has 3 kids and has a bunch of guys chasing after her. Including myself. I mean, who would not like this chick. Shes hot and nice. But turns out, I think she is an attention hog. 21 with 3 kids!? Of course, she just wants to have fun. I can think of 5 other people who would not mind getting with this girl right now, not including me.

Sure enough today another guy when to go hang with her. I was advised to stay away. Good idea.

I am not going to lie. I still want this chick and if I had not known about this site, I would be falling right in.

Damn. I really liked her too. But I know what must be done... I think?

The first would be just forget her. Well, I work at the same store and don't want to cause major problems (guess that is why you don't stick your pen in the company ink)

I like her and would think she would be cool as a friend, but then there is always the chance I would revert and chase her like a puppy. But then again, I could aways manage to keep my self busy. Should I just LJBF's this girl?

Just play her. Hard. If she digs the attention and I don't give her attention (im sure others will, only to be drug along). Keep her around. Hang out every so often with her. Give her mixed signals. Do pick up attemps and other stuff.

As I said, I don't want to flat ignore her. Just basicly think I will end up getting nothing from her and just move on.

I will have to work with her. I figure I will just play it cool around her. Keep my distance, but not rude or any of that. Friends material. If she calls (I will be suprised now if she did), just show a lack of interest. And most of all look for someone else

-------------

Damn. Yeah I am bummed but I don't feel like playing this game with her. The odd thing is, or maybe its not so odd, is that instead of doing what I would of done say a month ago, which would be get depressed (or played). Now I feel like going out and finding another girl who is interesting. Hell right now I feel like buying a new shirt or something to help improve my game or something. :) Even a haircut. Getting shaved, cleaned up a little bit and just friggin get back out there.

A month ago, I probably would not have even thought this
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DarthJuan

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3 kids at 21 = red flags waved by a marching band blaring bull horns.
 

slitherjef

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Im just glad I found this out before I really got started with her! If I had not found this site, I would have found out the hard way :nervous:

Guessing I should just play it cool around her and look elsewhere for what I want. And try to stay the hell away from the co-workers.

On the good side, I think I got a confidence boost from her and now trying to get my buddy to hang with me so I can try some cold approches. Not sure if I would want to try this stunt myself, at least with some one there, I can see how its done
 

backbreaker

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so let me get this straight, you thgought she was 29 but she's 21?


I mean, what I would do is leve her alone. but that's me and I know you aren't going to do that anyway.

do what I said in the previous post. no different. ALL hot women have guys chasing after them... that's kinda the point. Get used to it. this guy has told you nothing that isn't ture about every above avg looking woman in america
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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slitherjef

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backbreaker said:
so let me get this straight, you thgought she was 29 but she's 21?


I mean, what I would do is leve her alone. but that's me and I know you aren't going to do that anyway.

do what I said in the previous post. no different. ALL hot women have guys chasing after them... that's kinda the point. Get used to it. this guy has told you nothing that isn't ture about every above avg looking woman in america
Yeah, I thought she was older. But she is a grown woman who can make her own decisions, as am I. Crap. Its not like I can avoid her since I work near her. She probably just wants to have fun or is just an AW or plain easy. Maybe she really does like me and just waiting for me to get my but in gear.

Im not gonna phone her. At least not yet. I want to talk to her at work, see if she really does have an interest in me. If she ask why I did not call back, well, I will just fire off, "Was busy. Your Caller ID shoulda picked up my number and it should be in your call log, so you should have my number now" I will see if she will pick me up after I get off work, which would be a test really because she would leave around 3 hours before I get off and so she would have to come back to get me. If she does, well then, thats cool. We can hang at the park for a few. If not, well then, at least I have my answer.

Im not going to chase her. Good chance to try out some C/F and hot and cold and boost my confidence, but at the same time keep the fact in the back of my mind I may be getting played (and/or possibly used for sex if it does happen). And most importiantly, be on the look out for other potentials.
 

Dongfu

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It sounds like you're on the right track. What you need now is a Product Development Strategy.

"A product development strategy will provide the framework to orient your development projects as well as your development process. There is no single correct strategy. The strategy takes into account the person’s strengths and weaknesses, the competition's capabilities, as well as market needs and opportunities, goals, and resources."

"In developing your strategy, you must determine your primary strategic orientation. You must recognize that you cannot be all things to all women and that you must focus on what will distinguish yourself in the market place.

What you focus on changing should relate to your target market. If your desired target market is Catholic nuns, you will have to develop your strategy differently than if you are targeting middle-aged widows."


This is just the first step in a 9 step system discussed in my book Dong Fu.

For more info on the strategy that is right for you, you can get the book at dongdeal.com
 
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