"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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This could be interesting (no April 1st)

W

wait_out

Master Don Juan
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Background: About a week ago, I got a little bored looking for an apartment in online classifieds, and ended up in looking through the other categories. While checking out 'physical training', there happened to be an ad for 3 girls looking for a pole dancing instructor, to help them get in shape -- who also offered to host lessons at their place, since they'd thoughtfully bought a full-size regulation pole. I thought it had to be a joke. I (in my infinite wisdom) thought it'd be funny to set up a shell company email and ask them about their skill level and schedule, just to see what they'd say.

Well -- lo and behold -- I have a response. It looks like the ad was actually legit. They're a little out of practice but know the fundamental moves -- spin, inversion, blah blah blah -- and just need some help to put together a routine.

My brother suggested just rick-rolling them but now I feel kind of bad about it. There's no school or classes in town -- maybe I could actually set up a school and actually turn the joke legit?

I kind of feel like... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6_pv_vRHKI

HELP :D
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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W

wait_out

Master Don Juan
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This is developing slowly. I've talked with 2 pole dancing schools about 2-3 hours away who are interested in expanding to where I live. The big issue is there's not enough existing clientele to run a devoted studio -- so any classes would have to run out of an existing dance studio as another discipline. Interestingly it seems like this is a fad (hot yoga?) with some momentum so maybe if I'm ahead of the curve I could clean up on it. Ha!

I encouraged the three girls to become instructors. I can't see myself staying involved in this long, since I have nothing at stake and will get cut out very quickly if it actually works and people start making real money... but man it's a great story! I really hope they're down with it.

At least I can use this opener: "Hey you're cute and seem like a cool girl... would you like to try taking a pole dancing workshop I organised? No, I swear, it's real" XD
 
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