"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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This chick called me "kid."

ChapStick

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So I'm gonna be going out with this chick this weekend. And normally she ends her messages with, "Night hun" or "night babe." But tonight she said, "lol ok night kid" after I told her I was gonna crash. I've only known this chick for a week so I texted her back:

"Kid? wtf..."

and she later said it's a joke and why am I being so mean. And I'm like, "You hardly know me, and I'm older than you and you call me kid? Insulting. I know I'm PMS'ing but I've had a bad day"

She later asks me why the bad day.. and I tell her "It's not important. Just stuff.." and that I'm gonna crash.

Did I over-react? I feel that I was protecting my dignity. This chick is a flirt... I do not want her walking over me especially by calling me kid. I found it disrespectful coming from a woman.

If I was wrong in reacting this way, what can I do now? I don't feel I was wrong, but that's cuz this happened just less than 30 mins ago.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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i would say you over-reacted, she was just being playful. it wqas a mistake so i woud just play it off like it was nothing, dont bring it up unless she does
 

KontrollerX

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It really depends on her tone of voice when she said it bro.

You could've been overreacting but only if she said this playfully and flirtatiously.

Not dissmissively in which case your reaction was fine.
 

ChapStick

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KontrollerX said:
It really depends on her tone of voice when she said it bro.

You could've been overreacting but only if she said this playfully and flirtatiously.

Not dissmissively in which case your reaction was fine.
Good point. But still.. "Kid?" ANd it was over text..

I'm starting to think I over-reacted lol I'm gonna take canadian's advice and not even mention it.
 

Snowman23

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Over-reacted is an understatement.

I see this happening a lot on this forum. Everyone thinks they need to "stand up for themselves", even if there's no reason to.

You displayed a few things about yourself during that exchange.

1.) You're not confident
2.) You care what other people think about you
3.) You're not laid back

Get with the program.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ready123

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Snowman23 said:
I see this happening a lot on this forum. Everyone thinks they need to "stand up for themselves", even if there's no reason to.
yup, I agree
 

KontrollerX

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Yeah not mentioning it is the best course of action.

If she brings it up and gets on you about it just say "yeah sorry about that, it was a bad day, I have no excuse" then if possible follow it up with some kind of C&F line to alleviate the tension of the apology or just quickly change the subject as smooth as you can.

Smooth and quick transition so as to not dwell on the apology.
 

ChapStick

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KontrollerX said:
Yeah not mentioning it is the best course of action.

If she brings it up and gets on you about it just say "yeah sorry about that, it was a bad day, I have no excuse" then if possible follow it up with some kind of C&F line to alleviate the tension of the apology or just quickly change the subject as smooth as you can.

Smooth and quick transition so as to not dwell on the apology.
You are one of my favorite posters on here! Thanks bro...

And to all the above posters.. You are all right.. I totally acted in a non-DJ manner... I did have a bad day today, and I should've had more self control. What's done is done and I'll be sure to make the future better.
 

ChapStick

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Snowman23 said:
Over-reacted is an understatement.

I see this happening a lot on this forum. Everyone thinks they need to "stand up for themselves", even if there's no reason to.

You displayed a few things about yourself during that exchange.

1.) You're not confident
2.) You care what other people think about you
3.) You're not laid back

Get with the program.
You are right man... I was out of control... I realize this.. NOW .. Oh well I've learned from my mistake.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

jakeyboy

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or

"Night ma."

:cheer:
 

Privitor

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Oh, people!
He may have overreacted, but if he felt offended he chose the right way.
If you realize that you made a mistake ask the fellas here how to minimize the effects, but don't ask them if the way you felt right then was correct!

Did I over-react? I feel that I was protecting my dignity. This chick is a flirt... I do not want her walking over me especially by calling me kid. I found it disrespectful coming from a woman.
Be sorry to have a mind of your own!

You displayed a few things about yourself during that exchange.

1.) You're not confident
2.) You care what other people think about you
3.) You're not laid back
This doesn't mean that you should be an artificial DJ who expresses his "qualities" through words.



Sure there are some DJ rules to live by, but what we're talking about here is absurd.

ChapStick, you are stupid if you let other people tell you what to feel in certain moments!
 

Privitor

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That's a awkward question! I'll please you, though: this is actually my first account.

English is not my mother language, so what I write may not be the exact expression of my thoughts. Let me rephrase it:
"use your own head to decide on your emotions; ask others for help, but don't imitate their persona."
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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comic_relief

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I would have said in response, "I might be a kid, but I got big boy parts and if you come over, I just might show you ;) "

It worked for me a year or so ago.

comic_relief
 
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To privitor: its not really a matter of telling a guy when to be offended or not, obviously he should react in his own way, but he was clearly mistaken about her intentions in saying what she did, and he let her get to him. someone who is confident and secure wouldnt give a **** what someone says to them, here he lost it and b1tchy at her at something insignificant.
 

ChapStick

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Yeah, so I woke up this morning and I am in a significantly better mood today. I feel bad for b1tching this girl out when she didn't do anything wrong. If she does bring it up, I'm gonna do the proper thing... Apologize and move on.

One of the reasons I didn't care what I said to her specifically and directed my days anger towards her is; I heard from my friends that know her better than I do that she's a major flirt... and they have a hard time seeing her in a relationship with anyone. And when I was commenting her back on myspace, I see her flirting with some other guy on myspace and they're exchanging numbers saying they both wanna meet. I just kinda felt like I had been played.
 

Privitor

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I feel bad for b1tching this girl out when she didn't do anything wrong.
She did something wrong in your opinion! Remember:
I feel that I was protecting my dignity. This chick is a flirt... I do not want her walking over me especially by calling me kid. I found it disrespectful coming from a woman.
?

Decide who the real "you" is and act accordingly (don't try to favour the girl in the process!).
Provided I were you and found that disrespectful, I wouldn't apologise. I'd just tell her that I had a bad day and misinterpreted her words (if she brought it up).

It's the basic rule of "DJdom": don't take sh1t from anyone. What you consider to be "sh1t" may not correspond to other's opinion and viceversa. Some may get itches when you rise against what they said or done. But who cares? Your life is about yourself!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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