"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Thinking about starting over in a new city

Doctormad

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With what has happened to me in the past week, (breaking up with my gf, leaving my job, having a bit of a fallout with my bestfriend/roommate), I have been thinking of packing up everything and moving to a completely new part of the country. In the area that I am living now, there is a fair number of jobs but also a lot of competition for them. The city I was thinking of moving to has companies that are begging for people to work for them, so finding a job will not be that difficult, even one in my field.

Since my belief is quality time over quantity time, if and when I do move I plan to do whatever I can to make extra money. However, I would also like to have a bit of a social life and build a circle of friends. However there are some considerations to take into account for.

1) Bars and nighclub are not really my thing anymore. I have never really felt comfortable in that setting, and although I occasionally do like to go to have a drink from time to time, I dont want to be doing the barhopping thing again.

2) I have a bit of social anxiety. Its not as bad as it used to be but from time to time it can flare up. I feel most at ease in a house party type enviroment, I feel most nervous in a nightclub or bar setting (hence my reasons for not wanting to do #1 anymore). I also do have a hard time opening up to people for friendships, not because I want to seem like a snob, but in the past I have been burned by people who pretended to be my friends.

3) While I am far from being over-the-hill. I am not young anymore, although I have no problems with hanging out with people younger than I (after all, people who meet me misguess my age by between 5 and 8 years).

With those considerations in mind, how would I go about meeting people in a brand new city with a potentially brand new job? I know this topic has been covered before but I wanted a fresh perspective. Oh, and if this helps I am a computer/network tech by trade, and an avid mountain biker/hiker
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Eko Steele

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Hey sounds more like you are running away from your problems, but hey thats my opinion, and not necesarrly what is going on
 

Sargeholic

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There is nothing wrong with this...just be sure you are doing it for the right reasons. If you ever wanted to try a new area, new country, or such, the point you are at in your life is a good time to do it.

I have always said that if I were to leave my job or somehow get canned, I would move...not to run away but because I have lived up north my entire life and would just want a change, and it would be the opportune time.
 

diablo

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Originally posted by Sargeholic
There is nothing wrong with this...just be sure you are doing it for the right reasons. If you ever wanted to try a new area, new country, or such, the point you are at in your life is a good time to do it.
Great advice. I might even recommend using this time to take a year abroad, perhaps more. When you're 30-40 and stuck in the same job trying to move up the ladder you won't have the ability to just cut loose and live elsewhere... take advantage of it now. You can find several decent (not great, but enough to live comfortably) jobs in many European countries (and some in the Middle East/Asia). Have a ball.
 

Abbott

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Whatever you do, be sure to secure a job or some other form of income (say, a website where you sell stuff) before moving, so you don't get screwed.

Three months down the line, you don't want to get into some serious financial trouble.

Also, think about what it is you want and need to do, and be sure the new city offers that. For example, I'm a smoker who believes in gun rights so I won't want to live in California. Or if you're black and want to meet other black people, Tucson, AZ wouldn't be a good choice because there aren't many black people there.

Just be sure to do the research. If you're really interested in a city, you may even want to visit the city before finally moving there. There are certain things that just can't be expressed through statistics.


Ben
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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