Thinking about open relationship with ex

[narcissist]

Sincerely thinking about an open relationship with my ex. Been seeing her for a week again and she says she still loves me and doesn't care if I sleep with other girls she just wants me around. I told her that I am down to have her around but I will not be exclusive. But I want to prioritize her because I have a genuine connection with her.

So. I have never been in an open relationship before. Can some of you who have give me the complete run down of what I should expect. Or what rules should be placed. Or how a relationship changes when going from monogamy to open. Or how I should change? I want the full run down. Even some unforseen consequences or outcomes.

Thank you in advance.
Love you guys.

 

[Glassguy]

Expect it to work for a short period of time until she finds out you really meant an open relationship. As soon as she finds out you're texting/talking to/fvcking other women, the **** will really hit the fan.

Also, if she is cool with it, she may be sleeping with other people as well. STD's, you kissing the mouth that just sucked a d!ck, not worth it IMO.

But then again, I have several plates so its like an open relationship with each of them. They just arent fully aware of it lol.

 

[QuadDeuces]

If you have a "genuine connection" with her and you "prioritize" her, you sure you wouldn't mind she lets other men blow their loads and kick her to the bus stop?

 

[narcissist]

Yeah I'm not really the jealous type. I have several plates and am sleeping with more than one girl right now. I'd assume they're sleeping with other guys as well. I've gotten over the whole fact of being jealous that other dudes fvck the girls I fvck. It just comes with sleeping with a lot of girls I guess.

She said she doesn't want me sleeping with other girls and that she hates the fact that I have to but she'll accept it if it means she can have me around her.

 

[narcissist]

But yeah can I get come more constructive advice other than "you know other dudes are gunna fvck her"

That's the whole point of open relationships and I'm okay with that if it means I'm fvcking other girls.

 

[narcissist]

Expect it to work for a short period of time until she finds out you really meant an open relationship. As soon as she finds out you're texting/talking to/fvcking other women, the **** will really hit the fan.

Also, if she is cool with it, she may be sleeping with other people as well. STD's, you kissing the mouth that just sucked a d!ck, not worth it IMO.

But then again, I have several plates so its like an open relationship with each of them. They just arent fully aware of it lol.

If you think about it though you're also potentially kissing mouths that just sucked d1ck and have the potential for stds as well with spinning plates. The only way to avoid that is pure monogamy. Which clearly both of us aren't down for lol.

 

[Serenity]

She said she doesn't want me sleeping with other girls and that she hates the fact that I have to but she'll accept it if it means she can have me around her.

Sounds like her self-esteem is rock bottom and she doesn't have options. Can't see why else a woman would cling to a man who does what she hates.

If she ever finds love for herself then you're the first one she'll get rid of. An open relationship like this only lasts as long as her self-esteem is low. The day will come when she has had enough, until then it might kinda work. She accepts it, but not really, she just doesn't have the courage to say no. So if you want to continue then just do as you do now, fuck other girls and keep seeing your ex. It wouldn't be love though, because to love her you would have to give a damn about her feelings.

In a good open relationship there's mutual acceptance without any of the two disliking it. Your relationship would not be that because she doesn't like it, but probably accepts it out of some form of scarcity.

 

[narcissist]

Sounds like her self-esteem is rock bottom and she doesn't have options. Can't see why else a woman would cling to a man who does what she hates.

If she ever finds love for herself then you're the first one she'll get rid of. An open relationship like this only lasts as long as her self-esteem is low. The day will come when she has had enough, until then it might kinda work. She accepts it, but not really, she just doesn't have the courage to say no. So if you want to continue then just do as you do now, fuck other girls and keep seeing your ex. It wouldn't be love though, because to love her you would have to give a damn about her feelings.

In a good open relationship there's mutual acceptance without any of the two disliking it. Your relationship would not be that because she doesn't like it, but probably accepts it out of some form of scarcity.

Interesting

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

An open relationship is just another word for friends with benefits really. I mean what's the difference? She would basically just become your favorite plate. Not your fault if a plate catches feelings. She already has and you two aren't even doing anything yet. Women always have more options than guys and there's a lot more help groups for women than there are men so I don't buy the excuse that her self esteem is low tbh. Maybe she actually DOES just really like you and realizes that guys get horny so that's why. She just wouldn't want you to sleep with other women because it could be her projecting that you might get feelings for someone else over her; I'm saying that guys can have sex purely out of lust and nothing more whereas women really cannot, unless they're jaded to all hell and are manipulative as ****. But if she even said she is actually letting you sleep with other women, that means that she probably really does like you a lot. Who knows, maybe over time you guys will consider a closed relationship. If you do go through with this and want her to not hurt her, then tell her right from the get go that you two will not tell each other about other partners in your lives, unless you're looking for a threesome+ or something. That way you two don't really get bothered by each other sleeping with another person, particularly her.

 

[Glassguy]

If you think about it though you're also potentially kissing mouths that just sucked d1ck and have the potential for stds as well with spinning plates. The only way to avoid that is pure monogamy. Which clearly both of us aren't down for lol.

The difference is, each plate thinks there is a chance that it is going somewhere and has hope. I always divert away from answering questions about it. If I think they are looking elsewhere, they lose attention. Plain and simple.

One of them said the other day that "she wants a relationship". I told her exclusive FWB only right now, but if she felt like she needed more I understood and she should start looking. She was quick to say she only wanted to sleep with/see me, although the entire conversation turned me off and I havent hooked up with her since.

 

[narcissist]

The difference is, each plate thinks there is a chance that it is going somewhere and has hope. I always divert away from answering questions about it. If I think they are looking elsewhere, they lose attention. Plain and simple.

One of them said the other day that "she wants a relationship". I told her exclusive FWB only right now, but if she felt like she needed more I understood and she should start looking. She was quick to say she only wanted to sleep with/see me, although the entire conversation turned me off and I havent hooked up with her since.

Fair enough. That is precisely what I told my ex. She asked me for monogamy but I said I can't do monogamy right now as it doesn't make me happy and that if that's what's she's looking for she'll have to find it else where. She was quick to go for the second option of main plate.

And that is me being genuinely honest with her. I am not happy with monogamy. And if that means I have to sacrifice her from my life I am willing to do so even though I don't want to because my happiness has to come first.

I am down with having her as the main plate, but if she doesn't want that position then I can't help it.

Main plate basically means open relationship in my eyes

 

[Red Legg]

Expect it to work for a short period of time until she finds out you really meant an open relationship. As soon as she finds out you're texting/talking to/fvcking other women, the **** will really hit the fan.

Also, if she is cool with it, she may be sleeping with other people as well. STD's, you kissing the mouth that just sucked a d!ck, not worth it IMO.

But then again, I have several plates so its like an open relationship with each of them. They just arent fully aware of it lol.

In the same category is when she says she would like to try a threesome (with another woman) and she promises that she won't get jealous.....yeah right !

 

[Julian]

idk...energy just doesnt ever feel good in these situations.

 

[bigneil]

"Open relationship" = "Being single".

 

[narcissist]

"Open relationship" = "Being single".

Pretty much

 

[bigneil]

Pretty much

Meanwhile "Open marriage" = "Oxymoron". An uncommitted commitment? A promise you don't keep?

Open marriage = cuckolding. I had a guy tell me his wife wanted me and I could see it was breaking his heart so I bought him a Scotch instead. My last girl was married the whole time and told me on our first date "My husband knows about you. I told him I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for MONTHS!". I can't imagine how much that must have hurt him. She eventually left him but tried to basically get me to cuckold for some new guy and I said no way.

 

[RangerMIke]

Just date and fvck her.... not sure what the problem is. An 'open relationship' is just casual dating.

 

[darksprezzatura]

You have feelings for her man and she's an ex.
Accept this.

I'd suggest you to not go down that route, you won't be moving forward. No sex is worth going backwards.

But you won't listen to me because you 'prioritise her' and have a 'connection'.

Don't do it.

 

[bigneil]

Open relationship with an ex? And why?

 

[AJ84]

Fair enough. That is precisely what I told my ex. She asked me for monogamy but I said I can't do monogamy right now as it doesn't make me happy and that if that's what's she's looking for she'll have to find it else where. She was quick to go for the second option of main plate.

And that is me being genuinely honest with her. I am not happy with monogamy. And if that means I have to sacrifice her from my life I am willing to do so even though I don't want to because my happiness has to come first.

I am down with having her as the main plate, but if she doesn't want that position then I can't help it.

Main plate basically means open relationship in my eyes

She seems a little desperate to be willing to tolerate you being with other women, something she doesn't want, just for you to be with her. But you were upfront and totally honest with her so she made the choice and its on her if she gets upset about it.
Likely, she will hang around until something better comes along and then drop you like yesterday's news so enjoy it, if the secs is good etc why not right?