Thinking about giving up...

[Aspiring_DJ]

I am thinking about giving up. I am a Junior in college and have only gotten laid once. I consider myself average looking. (skinny and lanky) I don't see what the fvck i am doing wrong. I don't even get to the point of using ****y and funny b/c i do not get any IOI from girls. I smile at girls whenever we make eye contact. I meet girls in my classes but it never develops into anything else. I feel like I may be giving off a creepy vibe to them. Don't know what i am doing wrong. I mean, I am not a total AFC who doesn't try. I really can't get girls! HELP

 

[ducaro]

if you try, you've atleast got a chance to get what you want.
if you give up, you defn won't get what you want!

 

[Nygard]

Dont put the girls in the center of your universe. See them as the "icying on the cake". Seriously, my life has been better and my success with girls (although pretty low, it's better than zero) improved since i stopped devoting my time to only that. So, just give it a try again.
About quitting..In kendo, for example, you're constantly recieving blows, you might even question why continuing, because you're just recieving blows, but from that, you get to learn and get better. Life's the same, you have to think of problems and this "impossible" challenges and failures as chances to improve.

 

[Mad Manic]

Don't rely on IOI's to decide what you're gonna do. Don't expect girls to look at you and smile all the time, I rarely get that tbh, but when I DA they blush and smile and spend time talking to me (even if they have a bf, which shows how they put themselves out to get gamed by guys they like). Just do your thing, or get doing it and see what happens. You've had sex, that's a lot more than a lot of guys you know, hell I know people who I don't reckon have kissed a girl and they're normal by most standards (except having kissed lol).

I could rant on now about how men are really devalued socially and sexually compared to girls and how it's imperative you grab your balls and make the moves else they'll just choose someone else who hits on them daily ... but you don't need that now, just stick at it. APPROACH MAN.

MM

 

[PhilippeUrielAmancio]

For now, forget about the end result. Forget about getting laid. Forget about trying to create attraction.

Instead, focus on holding conversations with girls (and peope in general). Ask questions to get them to talk. It really does sound like you need help with conversations.

Post what a typical conversation between you and a female sounds like. I'll be able to help you.

 

[Monster]

Ok go quit. More girls for the rest of us.


Ok seriously, like what Philippe said, try concentrating on other things and improving other parts of your life. It is all connected.

 

[Aspiring_DJ]

For now, forget about the end result. Forget about getting laid. Forget about trying to create attraction.

Instead, focus on holding conversations with girls (and peope in general). Ask questions to get them to talk. It really does sound like you need help with conversations.

Post what a typical conversation between you and a female sounds like. I'll be able to help you.

OK will do. I will give you a little background first. Last week was the first week of classes. And in one of my classes I went to sit down and a girl smiled and said hi to me, I said hi back and that was that. (she was a 6 at best btw,) Then at the second class as I was leaving I held the door for her because she was behind me. Then I said to her "not a bad class". Here is how the rest went.
[as we are walking]
Her: Yeh I like it.
Me: Ya she (the professor) is really intense
Her: ya she is
Me: I am Aspiring_DJ btw.
Her: (tells me her name)
Me: nice to meet you, are you a polisci major?
Her: Yep (may have said something else i forget)
Me: ooo me too what year are you?
Her: Senior
Me: O wow, do you plan on graduating this year?
Her: haha thats the plan
[at this point we need to go different directions so i said ok i gotta goto the library but it was nice meeting you and she said the same and we parted ways]
Now today I saw her in class again and we said hi and how are you to eachother and that was that. She didn't seem to want to walk with me after class so I didn't pursue. This is pretty much how my general conversation will go to be honest.

 

[Aspiring_DJ]

Ok go quit. More girls for the rest of us.


Ok seriously, like what Philippe said, try concentrating on other things and improving other parts of your life. It is all connected.

I have started going to the gym and plan on joining some type of community service group or something of that sort.

 

[Omen]

Dont give up, or you'll be just like that Spoon guy from the PUA show.

So you get rejected by a woman. Why the hell would you quit? Do you quit when you miss one shot in a game? Do you quit writing when you make a mistake? No, you erase the mistake and move on. When you cook something and it comes out crappy, do you quit, or do you figure out how to improve the recipe or what ever it was you screwed up?

Look at business owners. (I am one) I have had MANY, MANY obstacles in my way, and a few failures, but its all of the learning process. I learn, then take it, and grow from it. Next time I know not to do that.

Lets say you are making a new product. You start at it, and you mess it up 10x, and then finally, BAM you got it. I've done something similar where I went through 20 or 30 formulas until I got it how I wanted for the most part. Is it PERFECT? NO! but it will be improved on down the road with the right tools.

Get my drift?

 

[Obsidian]

I am a Junior in college and have only gotten laid once.

I take it from this sentence that you are a hormonger. My prescription: Go to bars and clubs to hook up, not class.

 

[Aspiring_DJ]

I take it from this sentence that you are a hormonger. My prescription: Go to bars and clubs to hook up, not class.

I don't even know what that is but I am not 21 yet so I cant goto bars. Also on a sidenote, I am willing to post a pic of me if u guys think that willl help.

 

[RockfordTDog]

Are you flying without a wingman?

 

[Aspiring_DJ]

Are you flying without a wingman?

yes

 

[RockfordTDog]

Check the wingman forum.

 

[Obsidian]

A hormonger means that you are concerned primarily with sex, not with anything meaningful like a serious relationship or marriage. Therefore, you can get sex most easily by heading to clubs, bars, frat parties, and such.

Don't even worry about the girls in your class. Talk to them if you want, but just because you have a 15-second conversation on Friday doesn't mean they're going to be dying to talk to you on the Wednesday afterward. You have to establish a little more rapport.

And definitely don't give up until you've been doing this for at least one year. I think it takes a lot of people two full years before they start to really get the hang of things.

 

[Aspiring_DJ]

Right now I am sitting in my dorm room on a friday night. No one calling me as usual. Since i am not 21 I can't goto the bars. Feeling like ****.

 

[CanuckinSK]

Right now I am sitting in my dorm room on a friday night. No one calling me as usual. Since i am not 21 I can't goto the bars. Feeling like ****.

ADJ, obviously I don't know you, but it sounds from your original post that:

1. You're frustrated
2. You're maybe a bit down on yourself/depressed at times
3. You're lonely

Unfortunately, as you know, all of these conditions will turn women off real fast. Most of them are masters of picking up on these vibes. Negativity tends to snowball sometimes, and now you're at the point of saying, fVck it, I'm outta here!

Take it from one who was seriously AFC in his teens and early 20's, you do not want to close the door on this aspect of your life. Negative mindsets can be VERY hard to change, and the longer it goes, the more effort will be required.

Sitting on the sidelines and watching the game and wishing you had what other guys were getting, just plain sucks, I've had lots of experience with this.

Keep trying buddy!

 

[Obsidian]

I can think of so many things to tell you, Aspiring, but I think the Great One can help you far more than I can. Therefore, I have only a few pieces of advice for you:

1. Start Reading the Book of Pook immediately. Download it onto your computer in My Documents. Then read it right now for maybe half an hour. After that, take a break and go do something fun.

2. Once you've read for half an hour, call up a male friend and meet up with him. If you don't have any male friends you can hang out with, go see a good movie by yourself (I'd recommend Stardust if it's still out in your area ). Then try to start getting some more male friends. You can have all the girls in the world, but if you don't have some guy friends, you probably won't be all that happy.

3. Finish the Book of Pook over the next 1-2 months, and stop caring about what society thinks of you!


Besides, you've still got the rest of the weekend to have fun even if tonight is fairly boring. I usually don't like to party on both Friday and Saturday anyway... (If you're drinking on both nights, it's not real healthy.) And on Fridays I'm often still tired from the school week.

 

[SaucyBoy]

If you are sitting alone, just go for a walk. If you are on campus, that's ideal. Walk around and be seen. Make eye contact. Start small.

Everyone goes through this. Don't worry about it. I say again - EVERYONE GOES THROUGH THIS. Turn a negative into a positive. Use your time alone wisely and read the DJ bible and other books. Build a plan, man. Find out how to make love to women NOW. Read some material. Tons of it out there bro. Know what to do. You'll knock em dead.

Here is one that is pretty frank:

http://www.the-****oris.com/

 

[Aspiring_DJ]

I ended up going out last night to my friends apartment to watch the red sox game with 3 other guys. It wasn't bad, besides the game being painful to watch. These 5 girls ended up coming over to watch the end. Not bad looking either. They didn't stay long but I was in a good mindset and felt pretty confident talking to them. I didn't really care what they thought about me and felt like I was just there to have a good time. I actually had some good c&f too. nice.