Thinking about breaking up with girlfriend... and what is the best way to do it?

[Vice]

So I've been going out with this girl for over a year and a half now, and my personal progress has pretty much drawn to a halt. I'm more scatterbrained and have a hard time focusing. She lives with me and constantly drives me crazy with her messiness (I keep everything highly organized and fairly clean).

What I've been thinking is telling her to move out. I still want to go out with her, but constantly being around her is distracting and boring. If she's in her own place she won't bother me with its messiness and we can set up time to spend together.

And before someone blasts me for being in a relationship and not "spinning plates", I'm at a time in my life where I'm focusing on building my business and making money, not chasing girls. There's nothing wrong with spending a period of your life learning how to be successful with girls, I'm just shifting gears to another focus for now.

So my main question is some feedback from guys who are similar to me in terms of being distracted with women being around, and how they dealt with it. It's going to make her feel like sh*t, but it's better for me to spend two focused hours with her in a day than twenty distracted hours with her per day (concept found in David Deida's book The Way of the Superior Man). I'm just not into coming home to her watching some vapid TV show and not doing much else productive outside of work.

 

[LandingWood]

If you were really focused on building your business you wouldn't be in a relationship. And you would understand that spinning plates would be better for you than that. You're not in control of your relationship but if you soon plates you are in control. You saying you can't soon plates is bull****. Be a man and take care of business. Just tell her you need your own space to grow. She'll be mad but oh well.

 

[Vice]

If you were really focused on building your business you wouldn't be in a relationship. And you would understand that spinning plates would be better for you than that. You're not in control of your relationship but if you soon plates you are in control. You saying you can't soon plates is bull****. Be a man and take care of business. Just tell her you need your own space to grow. She'll be mad but oh well.

Yeah, which is exactly why I'm looking to separate from her.

I'm not saying I can't spin plates, I'm saying that I don't want to at this time in my life. The time and energy spent managing plates would be better spent making money with my business. If you've ever run a business you'll know that it's not exactly a 9-5 job, it's pretty much an all day workday with demands from you at all hours. This point in my life is NOT the time to spin plates.

As far as her getting mad, it never really bothers me because I know she'll get over it.

 

[JoeMarron]

She sounds like a leech to me. How does she improve your life besides giving you a warm hole to bust into to blow off some steam? If that's more important than your business then by all means keep her around, otherwise I'd go ahead and dump her.

 

[fuko2007]

I can understand where you are coming from vice. I am in the process of taking over the family business right now and it's alot of work. It takes time and concentration not to mention energy to do it as you would know. I got out of my relationship because it was bad and causeing me to much harm. I'm still dealing with it v.i.a no contact but for you I would just put it how you put it here. Just tell her you don't have time right now. It's true, and as far as spinning plates I do that on my weekends. My weekdays are for work and weekends are for plates, hunting, guy time, or whatever helps me relax. But sounds like she is detracting from you as mine was, and as soon as you see that it's time to go.

 

[Vice]

I can understand where you are coming from vice. I am in the process of taking over the family business right now and it's alot of work. It takes time and concentration not to mention energy to do it as you would know. I got out of my relationship because it was bad and causeing me to much harm. I'm still dealing with it v.i.a no contact but for you I would just put it how you put it here. Just tell her you don't have time right now. It's true, and as far as spinning plates I do that on my weekends. My weekdays are for work and weekends are for plates, hunting, guy time, or whatever helps me relax. But sounds like she is detracting from you as mine was, and as soon as you see that it's time to go.

Thank you. Some of the advice I got here comes from guys who have zero idea of what it's like to run a business. They're approaching it from an employee standpoint, which pretty much entails showing up for a few hours, doing barely enough to avoid getting in trouble, and then leaving on the minute and not hearing anything from work until their next punch in, in which afterward they can do whatever they want for the rest of the day. No dealing with customers. Legal contracts. Negotiating prices. Studying and ordering marketing material. Keeping up to date with laws. Raising capital. Attending meetings. Hiring contractors and making sure they show up. Tracking expenses and income. Writing and rewriting copy. Bank runs. Dealing with attorneys and police. Going to seminars. Knocking on doors.

None of that sh*t. It's go to work, get off, and play video games until it's time to go out for most of these guys.

 

[Vice]

Hey Vice I would just tell her point blank, "You need to go."

That's pretty much what my frustration level is at this point. If things don't change soon, I'm going to have to give her the boot. I miss the days of improving myself daily and not being stagnant.

 

[Purefilth]

think of it as a plateau, not a stagnation. You arent rotting away, you're simply building up to breach the plateau and keep moving on up.

Not entirely sure how to kick a woman out AND keep her happy(in the mood to bang) You'll have to tell us how it goes

 

[newboy718]

Not to sound like a beta but really think about what your doing before you do it make a desicion from logic not emotions see how it feels with her not around tell her you want a break have time apart then choose what you wanna do its good to spin plates but nothing is better to be with someone you connect to genuinely plate spinning takes a lot of time and your running a business but don't make her be a priority over your business fire that ***** if she wants you to do that lmao