think this profile would work on match.com?

[Robert28]

ive been experimenting on match some, not really taking it seriously though. ive changed up my profile a few times, and i noticed that when i was my TRUE self i was catching alot of flack from women for coming off as "arrogant", a jerk, full of myself, basically the sh1t they really go for but dont want to admit. i wasnt trying to DJ it up at all, i was just being ME. anyways i decided to cater to these women who claim to want so bad to meet a nice guy. its in every profile on there, so i figured id mess with them a bit about it. i give you the following. also my name on there is "formerniceguy". they really dont understand the meaning of it, but youd be surprised how many emails i get about it.

Apparently being yourself on here is frowned upon and every woman on here is looking for a "white knight". You want a "nice guy"? Well you got it baby!

Do you want a guy to take you out to expensive restaurants and spend $80, even though he doesn't know you that well and you'll probably never go out with him again? I'm your man! I know you're not texting your ex during dinner to tell him you'll come over to "hangout" afterwards. That's just your "friend checking up on you", right? Thought so. Have another glass of wine on me, in fact, have two!

Can't find anyone to come over and babysit your lap dog while you go on a date? I'd be glad to! I'll clear my schedule and rush right over to do this favor for you. I know none of your ex's would ever do this for you, but that's because they're all jerks and I'm so sweet, right?

Boyfriend brakeup with you? Thought the guy you went on that date with was really going to call you tomorrow after ya'll did the vertical limbo? Caught your man in bed with Ms. Over the Counter Boobs? It's ok honey, I'm here for you to tell all your problems to and cry on my shoulder! You can tell me all about it and we'll eat cheesecake like the Golden Girls. Yeah yeah I know, I'm so nice and you'd date me but you don't want to "ruin our friendship".

Need someone to call/text whenever you're having a problem, just want to talk, need a favor? You can call me anytime, day or night! My life revolves around making YOU happy!

Wanna meet up for coffee? I'll bring you roses! We all know girls like flowers right? What's that? your ex's you dated for many years and madeout with alot never bought you any flowers? Oh the irony!

So don't let the name fool you, ladies. I'm a nice guy! The nicest of the nice! Now, I bet my email inbox will be filled up with girls just DYING to go out with a nice guy like me! You know, since apparently we're in such high demand and all. The wait is finally over, your search has ended, you finally found a nice guy! Woohoo!

 

[Iceberg]

Trying too hard to be funny...

I think good profiles leave opportunities for "openers" from women.

I listen to the blues, I drink whisky, I play guitar, I travel, and I cook. And these are the things that interested women write to me about. I guess it helps that I'm kind of a good looking guy. Well, I wont lie...I'm sure that's the main reason they're writing. But still, you gotta give them something to say. I'm not saying your profile has to be one big boring list of things you like/do. But find ways to paint a picture for these chicks. The picture I've painted allows these girls to view me as a "man's man"...he grows beards. He eats meat. He drinks whiskey.

Don't just be like "Heyyy look how wacky I am!!" It just conjures the image of some guy on a date, throwing canned jokes at them.

If your profile is just one big sarcastic joke, what kind of messages are you expecting these women to throw at you?

 

[Robert28]

Trying too hard to be funny...

I think good profiles leave opportunities for "openers" from women.

I listen to the blues, I drink whisky, I play guitar, I travel, and I cook. And these are the things that interested women write to me about. I guess it helps that I'm kind of a good looking guy. Well, I wont lie...I'm sure that's the main reason they're writing. But still, you gotta give them something to say. I'm not saying your profile has to be one big boring list of things you like/do. But find ways to paint a picture for these chicks. The picture I've painted allows these girls to view me as a "man's man"...he grows beards. He eats meat. He drinks whiskey.

Don't just be like "Heyyy look how wacky I am!!" It just conjures the image of some guy on a date, throwing canned jokes at them.

If your profile is just one big sarcastic joke, what kind of messages are you expecting these women to throw at you?

yeah i see what you're saying, although my profile initially touched on all of those subjects but i'm not going to lie, i was landing interest from way too many undesirables. i'm a good looking guy as well so usually i can get away with alot in my profile, but i think the women on here see "good looking guy= *******...bad bad stay away!!!". they love to tear you down on this site for some reason. you can tell from my pics that i'm a mans man, i'm wearing camo in one.lol

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I agree with Ice; also even though your going for the sarcastic over the top approach, it also makes you look like your bitter about being used as the nice guy, doormat in the past.

I'd say a couple attention grabbing "shocking" lines to start off with, then sprinkle in your interests and put up some of your best pics. See what happens.

I'd change it up once a month or so and figure out what works for you.






PIMP

 

[Robert28]

I agree with Ice; also even though your going for the sarcastic over the top approach, it also makes you look like your bitter about being used as the nice guy, doormat in the past.

I'd say a couple attention grabbing "shocking" lines to start off with, then sprinkle in your interests and put up some of your best pics. See what happens.

I'd change it up once a month or so and figure out what works for you.






PIMP

got any examples you could share?

 

[Iceberg]

yeah i see what you're saying, although my profile initially touched on all of those subjects but i'm not going to lie, i was landing interest from way too many undesirables. i'm a good looking guy as well so usually i can get away with alot in my profile, but i think the women on here see "good looking guy= *******...bad bad stay away!!!". they love to tear you down on this site for some reason. you can tell from my pics that i'm a mans man, i'm wearing camo in one.lol

Women are tearing you down on that site? That's weird.

What is the story behind that? Are you negging them, and they're having negative responses? Or are these chicks just ripping you right from the introduction?

I ask because I've never had negative comments via messages. I've had the usual flakes, but never heard of chicks just tearing a guy down for the hell of it.

 

[Griever114]

Curious to hear as well