Think I need a pep talk so I don't give up at this

[Incognito72]

Hey guys, long time. Originally came to this site about 2 years ago, read some stuff, posted a bit (don't remember my user id, so just made a new one). Moved on to rsdnation and started looking at the stuff those guys did. Tried to apply some of it, and some success (I'll talk about that down below).

So before getting into this I never got girls. Never had any dates. Had a couple of hook ups, but those were basically 1 time deals (girl would be drunk as ****, we'd hook up and she'd pretend it didn't happen). Then I met this chick. Long story short, she ****ed me up thoroughly. She took advantage of me, made me think she could actually like me, but only thought of me in contempt (all the while she was getting ****ed by a guy that was just taking advantage of her).

So anyway, after that I discovered this site while googled "how to date girls", or something like that, lol. Basically I wanted to get her out of my head, or I would have done something very self destructive. Anyway, came here, read a bit, started going out. Met a few girls while out, but they never thought of me like that, and I just wasn't picking up on their signals. Spent a couple of months doing that.

Eventually left here when I found rsdnation and started studying their stuff. At this point I wasn't able to go out very often, so unfortunately I couldn't practice much. For the next 6-7 months I maybe went out 5 times, most of my time was spent working or studying (basically I had no one to go out with, and got very discouraged).

Then this summer I started to go out more often. I'd go out at least 1-2 times a week. Again I didn't see any improvement because I can't approach when I'm on my own. Well I'm generalizing a bit, occasionally I can approach, and have a quick convo, but the girls aways leave (I'm usually trying to approach a group of 2-4 girls on my own). A few times I'd have some success, maybe get a number, or a make out. But then I'd call the number later on and I'd never hear from the girl. This kind of **** gets me down.

Anyway, it's getting to the point where I doubt I'll have any success with women, and all I can think is "what's the point?". Why go out when I know that even on my best night all I'll get is a number that'll go nowhere. Doesn't help that my drystreak is at the 3 year mark now.

Thanks for any help, I know I'm kinda a mess right now.

 

[Borknagar]

I'm about to head off the computer but google, or search here "kino escalation" Also when you're out at a club, bar whatever, don't just start a bland conversation. Remember some of those boring teachers in school teaching a topic you had no interest in? Same difference. You need to make yourself appear special. hot women at clubs get tons of attention from tons of guys, and most of them have NO IDEA what their doing. You don't want to be one of them. Be exciting, joke around, enjoy yourself, be there with a friend or two. I'm not talking about openers, unless its lame, openers are NOT ALL THAT IMPORTANT! "midgame" and closing is where you really need to know what you're doing.

I've had a lot more success saying totally crazy/random things to women when approaching. Not the usual "hi how are you, where ya from, blahblah" remember this isn't a job interview! Asking where their from or what they do for a living, in my opinion, should come a bit later, not within the first minute or two.

If one of the first things you say to a women can make her laugh WITH you, score +1 for you!

 

[Borknagar]

Oh also, when it comes to texting, don't ever ever ever just text generic ****, like "hey what's up"

Text something like....

Hey I just watched the news and heard a alien space craft landed in you're area looking for a female specimen! Make sure you're ok!"

"Hey whats up, I'm about to go to the forest to tickle some bears, wanna join me? I think its safe"

Seriously, I'm nuts but if you can make a chick laugh, more power to you.

 

[slaog]

Borknagar is right, you have to stand out from the crowd. Its easy these days because most men are AFC's.


Sometimes when I hear of people going out to get numbers I imagine somebody running around practically begging for numbers. That might seem offending for some people but thats how it looks for women! Most women can get men easily but they're still not attracted to AFC's.


AFC's try to impress women. DJ's let women try to impress them. Theres a different mentality there and maybe thats an area you have to change. Once that changes you'll be amazed at how easy everything is and laugh at your old AFC self.

 

[sodbuster]

it's easier and safer to give up,retreat into your room and hide from women. Then what? Hide from work?Life? Each time, the box that is your life gets a little smaller.

Reach down between your legs. Feel a pair? act like it. MAN UP and do the hard stuff in life. Either that or come back and tell us your "dry spell" is now 10 years,20 years, whatever.

 

[Borknagar]

Yeah man these guys have it right, when I was in most of my 20s, I was the same exact way!

*****AFC's try to impress women. DJ's let women try to impress them.*****


Men these days seem more preoccupied with impressing women, and less about wanting to be impressed themselves. When you sit and think.... How often have women TRIED to impress me? You start to think different! YOU ARE THE CATCH!!! And you need to act like it! If a women is gonna get shady, move on.

Next the ones that flake, ITS NOT AFC TO NEXT!!!! Some think so but I disagree, its more afc not to next and to just work on that one flaky women.

a dj a pua, a MAN will have MANY women in the works, not just one, so will EASILY next the ones that aren't worth putting the time and effort into it, and will easily next them and not look back.

 

[zekko]

I've had a lot more success saying totally crazy/random things to women when approaching. Not the usual "hi how are you, where ya from, blahblah" remember this isn't a job interview! Asking where their from or what they do for a living, in my opinion, should come a bit later, not within the first minute or two.

If the OP's being studying RSD he should know all that stuff. He should know what to do. He probably just needs to keep trying. Sometimes it can take awhile for the results and calibration to come. Sometimes you have to be patient.

Also, it may be that the OP really KNOWS what is holding him back if he really looks at himself. For instance, I know that if I would be more social, I would generate more attraction. But at this point I really don't want to be around people anymore than I already am, so that's a tradeoff I'm willing to accept. If I was younger though, or needed a girlfriend, I would probably push myself through it.

The only other thing I would say is maybe try to meet girls in different ways. I don't know if you're just going to clubs or what. If so, maybe try to play some social circle game or try to meet girls through hobbies or classes. Maybe the club type girls aren't your thing. Know what you're looking for.

 

[Hakuna]

Being single isn't a curse, it's an opportunity. You're an AFC whose single, which means you can shift your focus from woman onto yourself. You have the opportunity to avoid being pathetic all your life. Feel lucky because most AFCs actually DO end up getting girlfriends (ones who fuk other dudes) and they become SLAVES to their own relationships and thoughts. They can't break up with their girlfriends because of their own fears of being alone so they drag their miserable relationships on and on and their life never progresses. Their girlfriends depend on them for a stable paycheck and shoulder to cry on and they depend on their girlfriends because they are manic insecures who need to feel loved.

YOU shouldn't worry about women. You have life to conquer, a world to see, and your self to discover. Start focusing on your goals in life that are NOT related to women. In fact, women should never be a goal in your life, they are just objects of pleasure that often randomly appear because they are attracted to your success. If it's of any help, I promise you that your success with women will increase if you focus on yourself more than them. You are upset right now because you CARE that you're not being successful with women. Take the stoic approach and stop caring. There are MUCH more important things in life. This is one of the main differences between women and men. Women don't have a choice. They define themselves by the egos of their boyfriends and the men they get attention from. Men have the choice of defining themselves BY themselves, not the women they are able to get.

 

[Lucifero]

Keep going man, dont quit. Work out, check out some style tips, and keep working on your game.

You got this! Keep your confidence up and you'll do fine....DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF and LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES.

:cheer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=il9LacekmW4

 

[thedude4242]

Borknagar is right, you have to stand out from the crowd. Its easy these days because most men are AFC's.


Sometimes when I hear of people going out to get numbers I imagine somebody running around practically begging for numbers. That might seem offending for some people but thats how it looks for women! Most women can get men easily but they're still not attracted to AFC's.


AFC's try to impress women. DJ's let women try to impress them. Theres a different mentality there and maybe thats an area you have to change. Once that changes you'll be amazed at how easy everything is and laugh at your old AFC self.

great post.