"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Think I might be asexual

B0redandl0nely

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Went out with a girl for 4 months and did nothing more but dry hump in the park and in my car, finger her, and give her oral sex. I'm wondering why I did not pull my pants down and just do the deed. Anyone think I should be concerned?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Urbanyst

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So you never get hard from attractive women?

Or is it just this one girl?
 

logicallefty

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How much experience with women do you have?

Did this girl say anything to you about "I don't sleep with guys I'm not married to" or "I won't have sex unless we are BF/GF"? Or are you still of the belief that women don't want/enjoy sex as much as men do? Or was there any other propaganda at play in your head or from her mouth that might have triggered you to hold back and not to move forward with getting the mud for your duck? If I had slept with all the girls I fell for this ball of nonsense on back in my beta days my lay count would be double what it is now.
 

B0redandl0nely

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I have enough experience. She said nothing about needing a commitment to have sex, I think women want sex just as much as men do, and there was nothing going on in my head. I bought condoms once but just never used them. It just never happened and I was definitely attracted to her. I must be asexual
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

Murk

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Bro if you're gonna do it, do it quietly, cheers.
 

MoreThanSmooth

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Bit harsh on this chap, guys? At the same time no need for all this cussing, new dude, calm it down.

The macho attitude is obviously that to be "Alpha Male ++ Super Deluxe Captain Turgid MegaMan MAINTAIN FRAME" you have to immediately plough a woman the minute you're slightly hard on a second date or something.

I personally find that in reality it varies a lot. Sometimes you'll want to do it but you can't (she doesn't want to, she's on her period or unforeseen stuff like STIs). Other times you might feel aroused physically but you're just not feeling it.

You don't need to f*** every time you feel physically aroused to be heterosexual. Maybe you just didn't feel 100% comfortable with that girl, unless you are exploding with confidence you are not going to neccessarily want to f*** someone who you're not relaxed and comfortable with.

Also everyone has various degrees of romance/comfort they need before they progress to sex. Varies on the person and their experience level.

Marmel for example has said he's comfortable with heavy physical flirting on a first date, because he's experienced and has a lot of confidence. Personally I'm less experienced and as a result I wouldn't feel comfortable f***ing unless I actually felt some significant trust in a girl.

So it's often a lot more complicated than just getting a boner and charging in while bugles play, just play it by ear and how you feel with each girl and stop judging yourself.
 

Murk

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Not harsh enough. I PM'd him for a legit chat about his health and mental state and he shut me down with nonsense. Don't want to see him around here.
 

logicallefty

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Guys, I have deleted some posts from this thread and sent some warning messages via PM. Lets give the OP a chance to discuss his issue seriously without being flamed.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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B0redandl0nely

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Bit harsh on this chap, guys? At the same time no need for all this cussing, new dude, calm it down.

The macho attitude is obviously that to be "Alpha Male ++ Super Deluxe Captain Turgid MegaMan MAINTAIN FRAME" you have to immediately plough a woman the minute you're slightly hard on a second date or something.

I personally find that in reality it varies a lot. Sometimes you'll want to do it but you can't (she doesn't want to, she's on her period or unforeseen stuff like STIs). Other times you might feel aroused physically but you're just not feeling it.

You don't need to f*** every time you feel physically aroused to be heterosexual. Maybe you just didn't feel 100% comfortable with that girl, unless you are exploding with confidence you are not going to neccessarily want to f*** someone who you're not relaxed and comfortable with.

Also everyone has various degrees of romance/comfort they need before they progress to sex. Varies on the person and their experience level.

Marmel for example has said he's comfortable with heavy physical flirting on a first date, because he's experienced and has a lot of confidence. Personally I'm less experienced and as a result I wouldn't feel comfortable f***ing unless I actually felt some significant trust in a girl.

So it's often a lot more complicated than just getting a boner and charging in while bugles play, just play it by ear and how you feel with each girl and stop judging yourself.
I did feel comfortable with her...
 

MoreThanSmooth

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I must be 100 percent confident. Anything else is unacceptable.
Mate, you sound like you just need to chill out a bit. You don't need to approach confidence like a Samurai warrior training at Bushido ready to die for the Emperor.

Sex, relationships, all that stuff is secondary. It's not even that important that you didn't bang this girl, just move on to the next one and have fun.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

MoreThanSmooth

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I dunno why I didn't it won't get off my mind it's driving me insane
Why does it bother you bud? Yeah, it would have been 10 minutes of fun. It's not important in the grand scheme of things, though.

If she left you, having sex with her once wouldn't have made a difference, you were already doing other stuff with her. Not something to beat yourself up about.
 

Alvafe

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I dunno why I didn't it won't get off my mind it's driving me insane
if you was assexual it would be all better you wouldn't have to deal with the dating scene. your problem is your confidence, you are thinking you are not good enough or are too scared to do the deed, gonna toss this here if you don't fvck her, someone else will, then you will hate you even more.

so I guess you know what you should do when you see her next time
 

B0redandl0nely

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Why does it bother you bud? Yeah, it would have been 10 minutes of fun. It's not important in the grand scheme of things, though.

If she left you, having sex with her once wouldn't have made a difference, you were already doing other stuff with her. Not something to beat yourself up about.
Worse yet I told her I was dealing with anxiety and that's the reason why we had problems. Not to mention i still think about you miss you (cringe). I soo regret that cause now my mood has changed and I just feel like asking her to hang out again and now I feel awkward cause of what I said. It's rough cause I haven't been feeling attraction to other women since we stopped seeing each other (It's not that I feel I can' t get anybody else) and I feel more ready than ever to treat her right.
 
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

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