I have been with my wife for fourteen years we have been married for seven. I recently found out she has been having an affair for six years with a married man. We have a four year old together and he is mine according to the paternity test. I had lots of evidence and confronted her without picture proof and she lied and denied everything. Its been a mess I am a D personality and act first and think later. I just wanted answers and some closure. Her friends and even her family are in on this. The only people that didn't know where his wife and me I guess. Pretty sick someone could do this to a person and just lie, incredibly selfish. I have been trying to put a guilt trip on her but she shows no remorse or guilt at all. If she didn't love me why have my child? We planned him it was no accident. Was that to lock me in?
On our first date she poured out her guts and told me all about her bad past. How she was raped at 12 by an older neighbor boy and how her mother had two boyfriends a year and moved around the country on the run from their schizo father. Whom I met and thought he was a nice stable man. I am not sure if her mother made him out to be evil as an excuse. I had no confidence problems till now maybe. I felt empathy in hindsight I should of ran. Who tells people that on the first date? Like a idiot I bought it, I am a people pleaser. Most of the literature on Waifs say their victims are people pleaser's, have low self esteem, intimacy issues, and are narcissistic. She was gorgeous and childlike and had an incredible appetite for sex. She fell in love fast and moved in with me quickly. She was very clingy and jealous at first especially of me spending time with my friends or even the women I worked with. Matter of fact, she absolutely hated my best friend. She puts on a front like she is so independent, but her boyfriend has been giving her $8000 a year and I do all of the bills at home and most of the chores. She talks to her mother multiple times a day. Her mother is very controlling. Looking back at the fourteen years she has never really told me any dreams or intimate feelings. I have asked her many times she always replies "she doesn't think that way". It seems I really didn't know her at all. Shortly after we were married I started spending more time with friends and I did neglect her, and didn't communicate with her basically took her for granite. I feel she thought I was abandoning her and found a new rescuer. Ironically, when we met she was a psychology major, got a masters and is doing well with her profession. My question is this person a Borderline "Waif"? I don't want to be with her anymore. I don't know what to do with my four year son at a tender age for divorce. I am sure she will brain wash him as well. She seems like a good mother on the surface, but wonder if my son will be messed up by her upbringing. If she is a waif wouldn't she be incredible jealous of her boyfriend's wife? When she met me she told me she had a fiancée after we have been dating for two months. She broke up with him. I should of known then, I was blinded. I think waifs search for the nice guy, but really want the bad boy.
On our first date she poured out her guts and told me all about her bad past. How she was raped at 12 by an older neighbor boy and how her mother had two boyfriends a year and moved around the country on the run from their schizo father. Whom I met and thought he was a nice stable man. I am not sure if her mother made him out to be evil as an excuse. I had no confidence problems till now maybe. I felt empathy in hindsight I should of ran. Who tells people that on the first date? Like a idiot I bought it, I am a people pleaser. Most of the literature on Waifs say their victims are people pleaser's, have low self esteem, intimacy issues, and are narcissistic. She was gorgeous and childlike and had an incredible appetite for sex. She fell in love fast and moved in with me quickly. She was very clingy and jealous at first especially of me spending time with my friends or even the women I worked with. Matter of fact, she absolutely hated my best friend. She puts on a front like she is so independent, but her boyfriend has been giving her $8000 a year and I do all of the bills at home and most of the chores. She talks to her mother multiple times a day. Her mother is very controlling. Looking back at the fourteen years she has never really told me any dreams or intimate feelings. I have asked her many times she always replies "she doesn't think that way". It seems I really didn't know her at all. Shortly after we were married I started spending more time with friends and I did neglect her, and didn't communicate with her basically took her for granite. I feel she thought I was abandoning her and found a new rescuer. Ironically, when we met she was a psychology major, got a masters and is doing well with her profession. My question is this person a Borderline "Waif"? I don't want to be with her anymore. I don't know what to do with my four year son at a tender age for divorce. I am sure she will brain wash him as well. She seems like a good mother on the surface, but wonder if my son will be messed up by her upbringing. If she is a waif wouldn't she be incredible jealous of her boyfriend's wife? When she met me she told me she had a fiancée after we have been dating for two months. She broke up with him. I should of known then, I was blinded. I think waifs search for the nice guy, but really want the bad boy.