Things to say to her when she flakes

[old_skoolr]

Hey guys, seeing this chick for awhile and shes becoming flaky, yet when I go NC for a couple of days she ends up msging me first.

Anyways she flaked on me last night saying she was too sick to go out, yet found out that she was actually out with friends. I'm annoyed so I've basically cut her off and going NC again. But I am expecting her to msg me in a couple days saying why im not talking to her.

Id love some examples of what you guys would say, only because I dont wanna sound too emotional when I msg, so this b..itch dont realise that shes gotten to me.

Cheers guys

 

[TheException]

Girl: Flakes...blah blah blah im so sorry blah blah
Chump: Its ok! We will reschedule some other time!
Insecure chump: Oh my god are you kidding me? I will not allow this disrespect to continue. You should respect my time or just tell me you dont want to go out.
Alpha: k

Girl: Why havent you been talking to me? Still alive?
Chump: Oh heyyy. Sorry about that. Whats up? Whats new?
Insecure chump: Because i was disrespected.
Alpha: Been busy

 

[PlayHer Man]

There isn't much you can say in the majority of cases. I've tried several approaches and usually the flaking will only stop temporarily. This is because flakery is part of her personality. She will be a flake until the day she dies. Some people are just flakes. Doesn't matter how much they like you or not.

If flakery is a deal breaker.. give her one last warning before dropping her for good. Just say:

"I don't get along with flakey people. If this is how you're going to act then I'm going to stop making plans with you."

I know a lot of people like to push the whole "Act like you don't give a sh!t passive aggressive crap." But that's actually a pretty feminine way to act. Its better to be a BOSS and put her in her place. Make threats and demands. Tell her what you want.

Never be afraid to p!ss a woman off.

Who's happiness is more important? --> YOURS

This only applies to a girl you already know.. NOT a new girl you just met.

 

[TheException]

I know a lot of people like to push the whole "Act like you don't give a sh!t passive aggressive crap." But that's actually a pretty feminine way to act. Its better to be a BOSS and put her in her place. Make threats and demands. Tell her what you want.

Your assuming she gives a sh1t about your threats or demands. Most likely she doesnt and makes you out to be insecure. Its not passive aggressive and its not feminine to not give a sh1t. Go make plans with another girl(you should have multiple plans anyways).

 

[PlayHer Man]

I know a lot of people like to push the whole "Act like you don't give a sh!t passive aggressive crap." But that's actually a pretty feminine way to act. Its better to be a BOSS and put her in her place. Make threats and demands. Tell her what you want.

Your assuming she gives a sh1t about your threats or demands. Most likely she doesnt and makes you out to be insecure. Its not passive aggressive and its not feminine to not give a sh1t. Go make plans with another girl(you should have multiple plans anyways).

If she doesn't give a sh!t about my threats and demands then its time to give her the BOOT.

This is what men don't get --> The woman SHOULD care. If she doesn't care then she is worthless to you. F*ck her and move on.

Here are the Rules:

Girls who CARE = Relationship Material
Girls who DON'T care = F*ck and run

 

[TheException]

The woman SHOULD care. If she doesn't care then she is worthless to you.

Close to common ground here^ however:

If she doesn't give a sh!t about my threats and demands then its time to give her the BOOT.

You did not underline threats and demands which is what i point out as the error in the reaction you propose. If she doesnt care about the guy? Sure, she can p1ss off....but threats and demands are insecure and unattractive. By making threats your displaying a huge and fragile ego. You give an ultimatum over any intrusion on this ego.

Ultimatums/threats/demands = unattractive

Dont confuse these^ with leading the relationship. You come off like Joffrey from Game of Thrones http://youtu.be/VjA4vDBdpcs

Lol "he does not ask...he commands"....chump

 

[RedScorpion]

I think there's a way to communicate your displeasure without either being too upfront about it, or too quiet. The way I'm thinking, is to handle it like a guy friend. If a guy friend said **** like that "Oh hey man I'm too sick" and goes out with other friends, I would think "**** that guy, he just blatently lied to my face". Not texting that.

Close friend, I'd say (I'll add, when you see them, don't give brevity of space by asking via text/ or for that sole reason by phone) "Hey what the hell man, I heard you went out anyway that night!". Figure out if they actually respect you or not.
Not close friend (say this girl), be cool/distant, not too interested in what they're doing, unless they make up their interest in you somehow.
If the not close friend/girl texts you "Why aren't you talking??", just go "?". She has to restart the process.

I also think both you, TheException, and PlayHer Man, are correct in your answers. It just depends on the level on how you know her. Longtime and Good connection = some answers needed. New girl = Don't give a ****. And variances in between.

I don't think threats/demands are the right word either. Maybe statement of policy is better. Threats/demands being 'Do this or face the consequences!', and statement being 'Look, this is how I deal with people'. Or a true example, 'Look, I gotta make plans with people that will actually be there, y'know?' Let them infer anything else.

And she lies again? "But I was sick last night!". Tell her you know she was out, **** her lying and all, and blow her off permanently.

 

[PlayHer Man]

The woman SHOULD care. If she doesn't care then she is worthless to you.

Close to common ground here^ however:

If she doesn't give a sh!t about my threats and demands then its time to give her the BOOT.

You did not underline threats and demands which is what i point out as the error in the reaction you propose. If she doesnt care about the guy? Sure, she can p1ss off....but threats and demands are insecure and unattractive. By making threats your displaying a huge and fragile ego. You give an ultimatum over any intrusion on this ego.

Ultimatums/threats/demands = unattractive

Dont confuse these^ with leading the relationship. You come off like Joffrey from Game of Thrones http://youtu.be/VjA4vDBdpcs

Lol "he does not ask...he commands"....chump

This is what a woman will tell you --> Ultimatums/threats/demands = unattractive

Why?--> To keep strong men from putting her in her place :yes: . Why do you think modern men are so passive and timid in 2013?

Video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejSq-_NzAps

Once you make the mistake of caring how women view your behavior... YOU LOSE. You are a SLAVE who can't behave how he pleases. Being afraid of "looking" insecure or unattractive is the VERY thing that makes you insecure and unattractive. :crackup: :crackup:

Your attitude as a man should be: THIS IS ME.. take it or leave it. No apologies.

Changing your behavior for the sake of what women want is beta and gives her all the power.

You should only compromise with someone who is willing to do the same. If she refuses to stop flaking.. and she doesn't give a sh!t how you view her.. why should you be any different?

 

[SamTheHobit]

Great advice playerman.

 

[BigSmooth]

Agree with Playher Man on this one. I wouldn't necessarily make "threats or demands"...but I would certainly tell it straight up how it is.

Now...this does not mean you have to be UPSET or FLUSTERED or VISIBLY ANGRY when you directly tell her. Be nonchalant, be cool and confident...but tell it how it is.

Don't beat around the bush.

Girl: Flakes...blah blah blah im so sorry blah blah
Chump: Its ok! We will reschedule some other time!
Insecure chump: Oh my god are you kidding me? I will not allow this disrespect to continue. You should respect my time or just tell me you dont want to go out.
Alpha: k

Girl: Why havent you been talking to me? Still alive?
Chump: Oh heyyy. Sorry about that. Whats up? Whats new?
Insecure chump: Because i was disrespected.
Alpha: Been busy

To me responses such as "k" and "been busy" are prime examples of ways NOT to text women as a reply to them flaking.

It portrays that you are upset about the fact that they flaked, but aren't man enough to directly say it.

 

[bigneil]

When she flakes you say nothing. You don't write again unless she writes again.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

For me, some of the advice here is "okay" but a bit over thinking it.

You said she has been flaky before.

The last time she said she was sick but in fact was out with friends.

Then you ask, what do you do/say if you go NC and she contact you...

Simple: You do nothing.

She's done.

Not only did she flake, she lied.

Tear up her number. She's not worth your time.

She doesn't respect you. Nor does she fear losing you, at least at the moment she flakes.

Flaking is bad enough, but lying to do it is the sign of a lower quality woman. Leave her to her impending menagerie of cats.

 

[Hydrak]

Think of what a guy who has a 100 girls waiting, AKA a lot of options, would do. Would he rage? Declare how unfortunate it is and offer a reschedule? Threaten her? Not at all. A man with options would just dial another one of his girls and meet her instead. He wouldn't even waste a second responding to her flake.
If you approach 100 girls a week you will have so many numbers you won't even care if one chick flakes, but if you only have 1-2 numbers you will harness all of your sexual energy towards those two.

Imagine this model dude who has banged a thousand chicks, one girl doesn't answer his messages on some dating site. Does he start overthinking and become insecure? He doesn't need to because he has a billion other chicks desperately waiting for him to come and penetrate them. One random girl doesn't matter to him. In fact, he would probably laugh at how she just missed one of the best opportunities in her life.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Think of what a guy who has a 100 girls waiting, AKA a lot of options, would do. Would he rage? Declare how unfortunate it is and offer a reschedule? Threaten her? Not at all. A man with options would just dial another one of his girls and meet her instead. He wouldn't even waste a second responding to her flake.
If you approach 100 girls a week you will have so many numbers you won't even care if one chick flakes, but if you only have 1-2 numbers you will harness all of your sexual energy towards those two.

Imagine this model dude who has banged a thousand chicks, one girl doesn't answer his messages on some dating site. Does he start overthinking and become insecure? He doesn't need to because he has a billion other chicks desperately waiting for him to come and penetrate them. One random girl doesn't matter to him. In fact, he would probably laugh at how she just missed one of the best opportunities in her life.

This is true if its a new girl. But if she is an established part of your harem she needs to be put in her place.

I also agree with HalfPUAHalfAFC above. You should not need to tell a b!tch to behave over and over. One or two times and then give her the BOOT.

 

[Redempti0n]

"Flaking" doesn't really bother me. Fvck it , I'd flake on any ,and I mean ANY chick for a night out with my best bro's. Specially now since we live so far away from each other due to college and sh!t and rarely go out together.


Assuming she barely knows me , I don't expect to be the most exciting thing in her world just yet. Flaking is normal to some degree. The lying is the problem. If you're already being dishonest with the simplest of things instead of just saying "Hey,I know we had plans but my friends invited me to blablabla and I really wanna go." then fvck you and have a nice day. You're out.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I generally agree with PlayHer Man here.

I think we are far too prone to say nothing and not call women out on their disrespectful behavior. We think that she'll interpret that in a certain way, but all it does is convey to her that we are just like her, just like a girl.

The whole reason women are the way they are today is because they are not taken to task. The thing to do is to state your policy in a completely detached, matter-of-fact way, with no indication of feeling hurt. It is simply rock-solid fact that you are communicating.

This is the only thing they can comprehend and respect, and the only thing that won't induce her own interpretation. If you just drop out, she will interpret that to her benefit. If you call her out emotionally, she will interpret that to her benefit. If you simply convey that she blew it because you do not accept this behavior, she cannot interpret this to her benefit.

On another note, guys, I have been using the phrase "I don't accept that" to great effect with women's bratty behavior. When a woman says something outlandish or designed to test me, I say very calmly but very firmly, "I don't accept that", and usually give a logical reason why not. This shuts them up completely and usually causes them to do a complete 180. Try it... you might find it effective.

A woman is a formless, ethereal creature who needs to bump up against solidity in order to have form and definition. She is the clay, you are the metal mold. Press into her and form her with your solid, direct handling of her.

 

[Uncharted]

I did this once (got it from here) when a girl in my social circle didn't show up to a group hangout. It wasn't a date but it still applies.

(texting)

Me: Oh so you're one of those?
HB: One of what?
HB: (20 mins later) You can't just say that and then not respond!
(next morning - 7.45am)
HB: Hey just so you know I was sick, otherwise I would have been there.
(next day)
HB: So you're going to ignore me?
(next day)
Me: Haha what?
HB: What do you mean what!? Do you hate me?????
(next day)
HB: Hey what are you doing? Want to come to the beach today?

This isn't the norm though - I'm assuming you are asking about flaking on first or second date.

 

[Kbomb]

If you have time and energy to care you have already lost.

 

[badboyjmm]

I think the 2 strike rule applies, regardless of what you are trying to accomplish with this chick. If you have a gut feeling that you are wasting your time, that's probably the case.

Besides, if she's a notorious flaker, nothing you will say will change her mind.

So I would go this route:
HB: Why are you not talking to me ?
Me: Just been busy, how you been ?
HB: Blablabla you?
Me: (if she mention anything about going out, go for the kill ) Come to my place, time, day, (if not) Hey I going to do some stuff, go somewhere, I'll talk to you later
HB: Ok
then ignore her.

 

[bigneil]

You might be dynamic and make a joke of it based on the situation.

Her: I'm sorry I blew you off on the Taylor Swift concert.
You: We are never ever getting back together.