Things not to say

[War Against Betaism]

http://blogs.techrepublic.com.com/10things/?p=581

I've always been meaning to write an article like this, thing is I've only had like 4 phrases in mind and it wasn't compelling enough to write.

Although that article was written for the intent of business relationships, I find it that it's very true towards women, and with other human beings in general. For some reason I'm very annoyed when I ask a person what he or she is doing and they respond with "nothing what's up?" And I've noticed that I do get pissed off more when people tell me to "calm down".

There's also two that I've experienced that should be avoided:

It's cool - I've never encountered a situation where it felt like I wasn't going through a guilt trip. Used in the context of when someone invites a person somewhere and they can't go, they say "It's cool." As minor as a problem this is, it's better to avoid such feelings, right?

Have fun - Like the above, this is also used in the same context. I see a lot of people use this phrase. What I see this phrase in full form is "Oh have fun without me." I never say this.

 

[Mazeman11]

How about you stop over analyzing what you're saying and just be normal and genuine?

Posts like these advocate turning into robots that are governed by a list of do's and don'ts.

 

[War Against Betaism]

You don't think I advocate that? I'm not into those canned openers or anything like that, a simple smile from the women is enough for me to walk over there and talk to someone.

And it's perfectly normal to analyze conversation, it's how people mature. The next time you hear those phrases, study the emotions and feelings that are inflicted upon. I'm not telling people to force these things, but to analyze.

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

Yea , its true . Youll come off as a boring.

But Mazeman is also right. We gotta stop analyzing and act like a normal persons. With this in mind , when ur talking to a women (live , not in MSN) , you start saying " have fun" then you stop and get into your head because " it doesnt give her the right emotions " and you come off as a weird fvck.

Everything has pro's and con's. And you're both right.

 

[Mazeman11]

I believe over analyzing is destructive and not constructive.

Interaction with people and women has a lot to do with body language, going back and forth, the terminologies you use, the way you use them...etc. Don't don't be offensive and don't be a wimp. It's pretty simply.

The moment I stopped over analyzing and just focused on being genuine and fun, the I more successful I became overall and felt much happier.

 

[War Against Betaism]

There's a difference between analyzing and over-analyzing. Over analyzing is when you start acting out of your normal behavioural parameters and start overthinking things. These phrases can only cause very minor problems; where the over-analyzing takes place is when you treat it like a major problem, which most people do and which I'm not suggesting to do.

Again, like I said before, when you hear these terms being used, just study them for a little bit.

I didn't make this topic as a make or break, the answer to all of your women problems, type of thread. Like I said before, they're minor things but in our pursuit of self improvement, it's also important to cover the small seeps and cracks in our personality. As small as the problem is, it's better to avoid it, but let's not magnify its impact on a relationship.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I agree with the article. Therapists call it "invalidating emotions." It just does not work well with women. Let them have their irrational emotions and feelings. That is just part of being female.


I would add two more to the list, typical nice guy behavior examples:


"I'm sorry."

and

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

 

[radiodude]

I agree with the article. Therapists call it "invalidating emotions." It just does not work well with women. Let them have their irrational emotions and feelings. That is just part of being female.


I would add two more to the list, typical nice guy behavior examples:


"I'm sorry."

and

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

When it comes to marriage, the above two phrases you listed are often muttered by me in frustration or irritation and in some cases pure indifference. So it doesn't always come from a nice guy being afraid place. But definately can be overdone if not careful.