For the last few days I was thinking what things I did right and how did I screwed up.
Things I did right :-
1. I had my hobbies like psychology, strength training, Photoshop, hanging out with friends. I focused on them, rather than the girl.
2. I was an interesting guy and fun to be around. My focus was on fun rather than getting the girl.
3. Always texted for less than 20 - 30 min. When there wasn't the covid lockdown.
4. As the college went online, I texted her every next 4 days and focused on developing my coding skills, and always talked about things which involved her emotions, not fluff talk.
5. Whenever having a conversation, focused on the conversation and not phasing out.
6. Focused on her behavior and not on her words. she completed my assignments, and didn't asked anything for return. Allowed me to lead her and asked for my advice on day to day matters, started teaching herself photoshop too. (I think these all are sign of high interest.)
7. Lead the conversation, bounced from place to place with her, acted like a man who has his **** together.
8. Was not comfortable with kino, so started practing on her. Played silly thumb fights, holded hands while crossing the road, and just getting her comfortable with my touch.
9. Did not get angry or possessive when other guys were talking to her.
10. Gave my own opinions and said what was on my mind. Not thinking if she will like it or not.
11. Maintain eye contact, I noticed when she was attracted to me melted whenever I made eye contact with her and smiled.
12. I desired her, but didn't used words or ****ty poems to tell her, she felt it when she was around me, the playfulness, eye contact, smile, etc all these helped.
Things I did wrong:-
1. After the college reopened, I gave her a gift, which was cheap $1 key chain.
2. Later on turned into a complete AFC, always messaging her first, giving multiple gifts(which she took as a bribes for her affection , completely unattractive behavior), getting sad when she wasn't around.
3. Complete disregard of her comfort. I totally missed the point that girls will behave differently around her friends, and fear that others might call her slut or just easy. Always have discretion and focus on comfort level.
4. Even when she didn't treat me right, kept messaging her and thinking things will change. I already lost the frame and the genuine desire was gone, It was just after one week after I gave her a second gift.
5. Got jealous when the other guys were talking to her and acted possessive.
6. Projected my own interest level on her and thoughts she was also in love with me.
7. Did not demanded respect and rationalized her behavior instead of seeing what it truly was.
8. Recontacted her after it all went to ****. Walking away once was attractive and walking away twice was an act of coward. I appeared easy.
9. Did too much kino and she felt I was desperate. I took every chance to touch her and screwed up the calibration.
10. Became impatient, I learned I need to allow thing to happen and develop on their own, not force them just because I want them to happen fast.
Be calm and laid back. If she finds things are happening too fast, she will pullback and if you confront them, they will feel pressured. Just let her handle own emotions and be understandable.
11. Focused on one girl and developed oneitis for her.
Recently got my 40kg overhead press and it gave me a confidence boost. I am working on myself, rebuilding the confidence.
I have noticed that hanging out with girls has become the norm and when they are not around I feel ****ty, like I am incomplete or need them to be happy.
Correct me If I am wrong with above observations and all the great advice from you guys helped me a lot. Thank you guys.
Reading the DJ bible again and again. Pook and Anti Dump post helped me the most.
Things I did right :-
1. I had my hobbies like psychology, strength training, Photoshop, hanging out with friends. I focused on them, rather than the girl.
2. I was an interesting guy and fun to be around. My focus was on fun rather than getting the girl.
3. Always texted for less than 20 - 30 min. When there wasn't the covid lockdown.
4. As the college went online, I texted her every next 4 days and focused on developing my coding skills, and always talked about things which involved her emotions, not fluff talk.
5. Whenever having a conversation, focused on the conversation and not phasing out.
6. Focused on her behavior and not on her words. she completed my assignments, and didn't asked anything for return. Allowed me to lead her and asked for my advice on day to day matters, started teaching herself photoshop too. (I think these all are sign of high interest.)
7. Lead the conversation, bounced from place to place with her, acted like a man who has his **** together.
8. Was not comfortable with kino, so started practing on her. Played silly thumb fights, holded hands while crossing the road, and just getting her comfortable with my touch.
9. Did not get angry or possessive when other guys were talking to her.
10. Gave my own opinions and said what was on my mind. Not thinking if she will like it or not.
11. Maintain eye contact, I noticed when she was attracted to me melted whenever I made eye contact with her and smiled.
12. I desired her, but didn't used words or ****ty poems to tell her, she felt it when she was around me, the playfulness, eye contact, smile, etc all these helped.
Things I did wrong:-
1. After the college reopened, I gave her a gift, which was cheap $1 key chain.
2. Later on turned into a complete AFC, always messaging her first, giving multiple gifts(which she took as a bribes for her affection , completely unattractive behavior), getting sad when she wasn't around.
3. Complete disregard of her comfort. I totally missed the point that girls will behave differently around her friends, and fear that others might call her slut or just easy. Always have discretion and focus on comfort level.
4. Even when she didn't treat me right, kept messaging her and thinking things will change. I already lost the frame and the genuine desire was gone, It was just after one week after I gave her a second gift.
5. Got jealous when the other guys were talking to her and acted possessive.
6. Projected my own interest level on her and thoughts she was also in love with me.
7. Did not demanded respect and rationalized her behavior instead of seeing what it truly was.
8. Recontacted her after it all went to ****. Walking away once was attractive and walking away twice was an act of coward. I appeared easy.
9. Did too much kino and she felt I was desperate. I took every chance to touch her and screwed up the calibration.
10. Became impatient, I learned I need to allow thing to happen and develop on their own, not force them just because I want them to happen fast.
Be calm and laid back. If she finds things are happening too fast, she will pullback and if you confront them, they will feel pressured. Just let her handle own emotions and be understandable.
11. Focused on one girl and developed oneitis for her.
Recently got my 40kg overhead press and it gave me a confidence boost. I am working on myself, rebuilding the confidence.
I have noticed that hanging out with girls has become the norm and when they are not around I feel ****ty, like I am incomplete or need them to be happy.
Correct me If I am wrong with above observations and all the great advice from you guys helped me a lot. Thank you guys.
Reading the DJ bible again and again. Pook and Anti Dump post helped me the most.
