Hey all,
I've mastered eye contact which in and of itself is a huge boon to efforts in socializing and meeting women. I can hold eye contact as long as I want now whereas before I would have the urge to flinch or look away after a few seconds, especially with HBs. This alone has given me greater confidence in approaching girls on the dance floor, out and about, etc.
I'm having a problem figuring out how to escalate though. Here's a situation I ran across Saturday night when me and my friend were downtown, and I want to get your thoughts on it:
At the end of the night we were at Mr. B's on their packed dance floor and a couple girls that just came in were eyeing me. I locked eyes with them a few times and we eventually came together and danced for a bit, then went outside to talk. Basically the four of us were just standing around chatting outside, I was trying to think of things to say to escalate a bit but wasn't really feeling it with the one girl who took the initial interest in me (young black girl, maybe 21 or 22). I'll call her the "target". Flirting with black girls is uncharted territory for me to begin with, but long story short we all wound up taking a walk across town to briefly hit up another spot that was doing salsa dancing.
So we get in and are on the floor, and I tried to escalate a bit by getting the target to put her arms around me so we could dance, and she refused. Her friend was willing though so we danced for a few. After that I tried again to dance with the target but she still didn't want to take my hand and put her arm around me. So we all danced in a group for a few more minutes then went outside to call it a night (almost 2 am at this point). We exchanged banter for a bit and the target happily gave me her number and took mine.
Since my boy is extremely inept at dealing with women, I told him and the target's friend that they should swap numbers so we could all get together again sometime... lol. He was just standing there and she was just standing there, so I number closed for him...
So my two questions about this whole thing are as follows:
1. Considering my target wasn't interested in dancing hand-in-hand with me during salsa, would you agree with my consensus that she's not really interested in me? She did touch me a few times during the short course of our interactions, slapping me five, patting me on the back and shoulders a couple times, etc. But I just didn't get the vibe that she was into me, despite her giving me her number rather enthusiastically afterwards. She even put my number into her phone and called me, put my name on my number and told me to put hers on hers.
I'm not sure I should bother calling, and since I didn't feel a connection, I'm not sure if I even want to... lol. She was pretty hot though.
2. What in general could I do to escalate better when I'm just standing around talking to girls after isolating them? Flirt more? Drop little innuendos here and there? Try to touch them in some way? I've read a good amount of the bible but I'm having trouble getting past this... maybe it's just nerves, maybe I need a girl who I get a better connection/vibe with... I dunno.
Oh, and one other event from earlier in the evening -- Gave a waitress at Mr B's my number after flirting pretty heavily with her. She hung around me and my boy a lot when we were playing pool (when she wasn't waiting on us for drinks), and looked my way and smiled a lot when she was off doing other stuff. I know that hired guns like her flirt to get better tips, and she took my number instead of giving me hers because of some excuse about her phone situation which likely means she was BSing me... but guys, my game was TIGHT on this one. We talked a LOT while I was there and I had her rolling with laughter a few times, dropped well placed innuendos, etc. You guys would have been proud of me, and she was giving me some serious IOI's the whole time. When I told her it'd be fun to talk sometime she asked for my number. Did I get flat out railroaded for tips or is there an actual chance she might call?
Thanks guys!
I've mastered eye contact which in and of itself is a huge boon to efforts in socializing and meeting women. I can hold eye contact as long as I want now whereas before I would have the urge to flinch or look away after a few seconds, especially with HBs. This alone has given me greater confidence in approaching girls on the dance floor, out and about, etc.
I'm having a problem figuring out how to escalate though. Here's a situation I ran across Saturday night when me and my friend were downtown, and I want to get your thoughts on it:
At the end of the night we were at Mr. B's on their packed dance floor and a couple girls that just came in were eyeing me. I locked eyes with them a few times and we eventually came together and danced for a bit, then went outside to talk. Basically the four of us were just standing around chatting outside, I was trying to think of things to say to escalate a bit but wasn't really feeling it with the one girl who took the initial interest in me (young black girl, maybe 21 or 22). I'll call her the "target". Flirting with black girls is uncharted territory for me to begin with, but long story short we all wound up taking a walk across town to briefly hit up another spot that was doing salsa dancing.
So we get in and are on the floor, and I tried to escalate a bit by getting the target to put her arms around me so we could dance, and she refused. Her friend was willing though so we danced for a few. After that I tried again to dance with the target but she still didn't want to take my hand and put her arm around me. So we all danced in a group for a few more minutes then went outside to call it a night (almost 2 am at this point). We exchanged banter for a bit and the target happily gave me her number and took mine.
Since my boy is extremely inept at dealing with women, I told him and the target's friend that they should swap numbers so we could all get together again sometime... lol. He was just standing there and she was just standing there, so I number closed for him...
So my two questions about this whole thing are as follows:
1. Considering my target wasn't interested in dancing hand-in-hand with me during salsa, would you agree with my consensus that she's not really interested in me? She did touch me a few times during the short course of our interactions, slapping me five, patting me on the back and shoulders a couple times, etc. But I just didn't get the vibe that she was into me, despite her giving me her number rather enthusiastically afterwards. She even put my number into her phone and called me, put my name on my number and told me to put hers on hers.
I'm not sure I should bother calling, and since I didn't feel a connection, I'm not sure if I even want to... lol. She was pretty hot though.
2. What in general could I do to escalate better when I'm just standing around talking to girls after isolating them? Flirt more? Drop little innuendos here and there? Try to touch them in some way? I've read a good amount of the bible but I'm having trouble getting past this... maybe it's just nerves, maybe I need a girl who I get a better connection/vibe with... I dunno.
Oh, and one other event from earlier in the evening -- Gave a waitress at Mr B's my number after flirting pretty heavily with her. She hung around me and my boy a lot when we were playing pool (when she wasn't waiting on us for drinks), and looked my way and smiled a lot when she was off doing other stuff. I know that hired guns like her flirt to get better tips, and she took my number instead of giving me hers because of some excuse about her phone situation which likely means she was BSing me... but guys, my game was TIGHT on this one. We talked a LOT while I was there and I had her rolling with laughter a few times, dropped well placed innuendos, etc. You guys would have been proud of me, and she was giving me some serious IOI's the whole time. When I told her it'd be fun to talk sometime she asked for my number. Did I get flat out railroaded for tips or is there an actual chance she might call?
Thanks guys!
