"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Things a Woman Misses About Being Fat

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,680
Reaction score
4,877

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,658
Reaction score
6,619
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
I agree. Thee is often a cognitive dissonance when such a huge change is made, especially when the former state existed all one's life. The pressure is building in her, and my guess is that in a few years she's going to give up and return to her natural homeostasis.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,795
Reaction score
10,026
On the surface, it sounds crazy. But oddly enough, I can kind of understand it. When I turned 30, I felt like there was a huge pressure lifted off of me. When I was in my 20s, there was a lot of pressure associated with it - even as a guy, you were expected to be "hot". I imagine for a woman, that pressure is far, far more. But when I got to be 30, I figured no one expected anything of me anymore, and I found this feeling to be oddly liberating.

That all relates to "perspective" in the article. But she also talks about her size giving her power. She probably figures she doesn't need to rely on men so much for protection when she has more mass, and probably feels less threatened sexually also, since she's not as desireable. And like Sam said, she probably also misses the freedom of slamming down some sugary treats.
 

taiyuu_otoko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
5,776
Reaction score
4,881
Location
象外
I see this as a combination of "Hey everybody! Look at me! I lost lots of weight"

combined with, "Hey I lost weight but fat people, don't get at me!"

combined with, "Hey I lots weight, but if I gain it back, I'm not a loser, because being fat is also OK!"

Just another emotionally confused drama queen.

OR

On the other hand, it could just be a rational realization that being thin is by no means automatically BETTER than being fat in every way possible.

If it were, then nobody would be fat.
 

dasein

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2013
Messages
1,109
Reaction score
207
It's a puff piece for hits and likes, wouldn't take it too seriously. Fat girls love to read this kind of thing so the author is probably aiming to write a self-help book and fluffing her rep with puff like this.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
4,735
Reaction score
1,223
Location
The Dirty South
Typical Lose/Win attitude. She has low self esteem (or HAD it, and is now recovering), and doesn't have enough respect for herself yet to go out and compete in life. She wants to go back to what is comfortable, and that's letting people walk all over her. She's never experienced true independence and then potentially interdependence.
 

pdx1138

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
1,298
Reaction score
52
^^ exactly.

I like the part about her difficulty with friendships.

Apparently she doesn't have many TRUE friends.
 
Top