"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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They say a cougar is an older woman who goes for younger guys, what age gap?

Jesse Pinkman

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Like it seems like such a nuanced term and I always think of it as some dude in college who is barely legal enough to drink sleeping with a 40 yr old. However, it seems real nuanced.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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GoodMan32

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I would say that it is a woman 10+ years older and the man is 18-25.
I agree with you about how much older the woman has to be. I disagree that the man has to be 18-25.

If a 50 year old woman got with a man my age, she'd totally be a cougar.

I've even heard some say a 70 year old woman getting with a 55-ish man is a cougar. At that point, it becomes more questionable as to whether she qualifies as a cougar (Even though there's a 15-ish year age gap in that scenario, the man is old enough it sounds somewhat silly to call the relationship a cougar relationship)
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Jesse,
Just before Covid I had a 26 year old Guy doing work for me,he was going through a dry patch so I organised a threesome for him with one of my Plates...Went remarkably well,I choreographed the whole thing so he never saw her in full light...Started with a candle lit supper,her in a low cut dress then moving upstairs to a dimly lit massage and Bed...He wanted back again but she thought him lacking in finesse...I never had the heart to tell him she was 67!
 

Barrister

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Requirements IMO:

1. Woman is at least 15+ years older than the man; and

2. Man must be below 50. Past 50 a man cannot qualify a woman for “cougar” status no matter how much older she is than him.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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SW15

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I would say that it is a woman 10+ years older and the man is 18-25.
Ballpark estimate:

Women >_ 40 + man < 30.
It's a good starting point for a discussion, though I would call some 30 something women "cougars" in the right situation. I'll get to that later in this response.

I don't fault men 18-25 for going for an older woman in the short term. Things are competitive for women 18-25. Being "older" than any particular woman helps and at 18-25, there are fewer women who will be younger than any given man. When a man is 21-22 and at nightlife venues, there are not many to be many younger women.

By the time a man turns 26, there are enough 20-25 year olds who are younger. That's a good time to focus on them and start ignoring older women. I don't think a 26-29 year old man who is dating older women is using time well.

The majority of 30 something women are not going to go substantially younger for a variety of reasons. If a 33 year old woman has a 20 year old boyfriend, she's a cougar despite being under 40.

There are enough women look really good in their 30s. It's easier to look good as a 30 something woman as a childless woman. I felt physical attraction to 30 something women way when I was a teen/early 20s guy and I feel that way now that I have turned 40.

When I was 21, I felt that the women on my college campus were more attractive than most of the hot 30 something women out there. I wasn't prioritizing hot 30+ women then but I realized that they existed. At 21, I had more access to hot 18-23 year olds on campus than the hot 30 somethings.
 

Mike32ct

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It's a good starting point for a discussion, though I would call some 30 something women "cougars" in the right situation. I'll get to that later in this response.

I don't fault men 18-25 for going for an older woman in the short term. Things are competitive for women 18-25. Being "older" than any particular woman helps and at 18-25, there are fewer women who will be younger than any given man. When a man is 21-22 and at nightlife venues, there are not many to be many younger women.

By the time a man turns 26, there are enough 20-25 year olds who are younger. That's a good time to focus on them and start ignoring older women. I don't think a 26-29 year old man who is dating older women is using time well.

The majority of 30 something women are not going to go substantially younger for a variety of reasons. If a 33 year old woman has a 20 year old boyfriend, she's a cougar despite being under 40.

There are enough women look really good in their 30s. It's easier to look good as a 30 something woman as a childless woman. I felt physical attraction to 30 something women way when I was a teen/early 20s guy and I feel that way now that I have turned 40.

When I was 21, I felt that the women on my college campus were more attractive than most of the hot 30 something women out there. I wasn't prioritizing hot 30+ women then but I realized that they existed. At 21, I had more access to hot 18-23 year olds on campus than the hot 30 somethings.
I worked with a woman who had a 30-something sister. The sister was hooking up with low 20s guys. She self-identified as a “Puma” because she thought “Cougar” made her sound old lol. But, for all intents and purposes, was she “cougar-ing?” Yeah no doubt. So yeah I see your point about 30-something women.

I had a female friend in her 40s who had a 21 yo bf for about a year. That was absolutely cougar territory, but the term never came up in conversation. She probably would have laughed if I brought it up.
 

Scaramouche

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I don't think that would be a cougar, that would be granny porn.
:)
Hi Zecco,
Is there such a thing as Great Grannie Porn?....Bridge Clubs are notorious for geriatric Womanisers....Some time ago a friend invited me to a Membership drive.....An old Girl reputed to be ninety in the shade came up to me pushed her card into my hand saying "Hi Tiger,I hear you are a bit of a pants Man,whenever you are in the mood give me a call" LOL.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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zekko

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An old Girl reputed to be ninety in the shade came up to me pushed her card into my hand saying "Hi Tiger,I hear you are a bit of a pants Man,whenever you are in the mood give me a call" LOL.
Pants man? Lol. I bet she was the cat's meow and the bee's knees.
 

Jesse Pinkman

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So many good takes here but I think that this thing is also so nuanced. IMO, age gap matters but so does how old you look. So many dudes are 21 going on to 50 and so many other dudes are 30 going on to 25. Like some men, but not all men, age like fine wine.

However, if she is 45 and looks youthful and you are 30 and look youthful, I don't really consider it a cougar cub thing. I guess I am more visual where the guy has to look visibly younger than her for her to be a cougar. Even if he is a decade younger but looks her age, it does not count to me.

Like how visibly younger does the guy look because 30 is different for so many dudes out there.
 

BeExcellent

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So many good takes here but I think that this thing is also so nuanced. IMO, age gap matters but so does how old you look. So many dudes are 21 going on to 50 and so many other dudes are 30 going on to 25. Like some men, but not all men, age like fine wine.

However, if she is 45 and looks youthful and you are 30 and look youthful, I don't really consider it a cougar cub thing. I guess I am more visual where the guy has to look visibly younger than her for her to be a cougar. Even if he is a decade younger but looks her age, it does not count to me.

Like how visibly younger does the guy look because 30 is different for so many dudes out there.
I think this is reasonable. My husband & I look roughly the same age, and we are both youthful looking. People mistake us for late 30s/early 40s all the time, but he is 49 and I'm 56.

I've never felt I'm a "cougar". That's always been a generational thing to me. If the guy could be your son? That's cougar territory in my book.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Sega Genesis

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I have read and heard from several men including men I've dated but also in the support group I used to attend that men don't really care how old a woman "is" but rather how old a woman "looks."

Where I'm from (upper middle class suburban NY) we were taught to never ask a person their age until it becomes relevant to do so.

It's always baffled me when I read posts (not just on this forum) that a man inquired about a woman's age upon first meeting her!

Like they'll post for example "I approached a 21 year old chick yesterday" or "I just met and banged a 25 year old last night."

How the heck does he know her age? Is this a question that must be asked during the initial approach or upon first meeting them?

I'm in my 30s and "look" to be in my 20s due to good genes and great skin care.

But honestly I'd be extremely put off if a man who has just approached me for the first time asked me my age. It's never happened and I'm being 100% truthful about that.

As I said where I'm from we were taught doing so was rude... again until it became relevant like they began dating for example.

If she's just a plate I don't see the relevance of asking. If she looks young, is hot and passes the boner test, who cares?
 
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nismo-4

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Who cares?

I've had older women past 50. Past 60. Past 70. There's no clear delineation. Do they give you a boner? That's the fitting question.

AFAIC these women had beautiful boobs and gave really good head action. Being such a corrupt judge, I gave these women the stiffest punishment I could. But so many was telling me they loved me after I f**ked them to sleep across 2 or 3 rounds. Of course the 7-8 inch pipe I gave them along with lots of my cüm made them enjoy it more. Damn good feedback. Damn better holding their bodies and heads as opposed to a Playstation controller. Better exercise too. Some I even unloaded inside of their vaginas. Of course their mouths. I typically unload on the cleavage.

Now, sometimes a cougar can make a younger guy's pipe harder than a diamond. I remember this fine milf from church (sadly I was 14) and I had a wet dream that night about her. Chocolate DD perky cleavage and getting multiple lipstick kisses, what did you expect? If her daughter weren't around at the time, and I didn't know how to jack off yet...

Well, I do tend to go for older chicks. I'm a hard judge.
 
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BadBoy89

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Any women over 30 is a Cougar.
 
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