"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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These Things Don't Only Happen In Movies

Frank2500

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So I found out two weeks ago that an ex-girlfriend of mine has been dating my cousin. We had a family event during that period and her relationship with him is basically official-he's introduced her to his Mum, brothers, sister and friends and she sometimes spends the night at his apartment. At the family event she sat at the same pew with him at church. My relationship with her was never serious and was very short-lived. The main reason I broke up with her was because I noticed she was too fond of drama, loved conflict, arguments and was quite rude.


My cousin claims not too have been aware of her relationship with me when he hooked up with her and said when he eventually found out and asked her, she told him I never told her that I considered her to be my girlfriend and that we were just friends. His relationship with her has spread all over within our family as well as out of our family and now he's so embarrassed that he says he's gonna end up with no choice but to dump her and that he never planned to settle with her in the first place. He said he thinks the girl must have been desperate to hook up with someone in our family and was hooking up with him in an effort to get back at me for whatever reason.

It's amazing the things and at what lengths some women can do. These things really don't happen only in movies.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Night-hawk

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Not good to underestimate a girl's diabolical, etc.,...side; nor a good thing to overestimate their intelligence.
 

dasein

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How distant is this ex? More than a year? Are you and your cousin close? Seems not or you would have known about this before. In your shoes, would tell him to go for it. I doubt there is animus on her end after such a brief relationship. Sounds like a bit too much worry over this IMO, especially by him, frankly he sounds too dramatic. Good luck.
 

Frank2500

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Re:

@dasein: As they say bro, the folks whom you think are closest to you often end up being the ones who stab you in the back. Yes I was quite close to this cousin (or at least I felt so). I have rescued him so many times with financial help when things were rough for him and he couldn't even afford much of anything to catch a cab or to buy food to eat; when he was getting ready to do his wedding (traditional wedding according to African tradition) with the woman whom he was seeing previously) I made a financial contribution so he could buy wine and other drinks, etc. I think the only reason he's speaking out now is because the truth is out and the info has spread all over the place including within our family.

I'm not bothered at all...I'm in a serious relationship with a wonderful woman since last October.
 

compleks

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If you weren't at all bothered you probably wouldn't have made a thread about it.

Not having a dig at you. Honestly though, doesn't sound like you guys were ever really serious. Good luck to your cuz and the ex, no harm done in my opinion.
Plus you're onto better things now.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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zekko

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Frank2500 said:
He said he thinks the girl must have been desperate to hook up with someone in our family and was hooking up with him in an effort to get back at me for whatever reason.
That's possible. But it's also possible that it's not all about you, and maybe she just actually likes him.

Anyway, it's an ex, what difference does it make? Guys here seem to think that just because they dated a girl once, she should be off limits to everyone who knows him. Meh, an ex is an ex. Who cares? That's my philosophy, anyway. I know others here who think differently.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Frank2500 said:
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It's amazing the things and at what lengths some women can do. These things really don't happen only in movies.
Not to threadjack, but that comment reminds me of some horrific story from ten or fifteen years back:

Women dated man.

Man dumped woman.

Women schemed revenge.

Got pregnant by him on "accident."

Waited till daddy bonded with baby.

Killed baby.

Confessed to everything.
 

Frank2500

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Re:

@Compleks and others: Please listen guys, I'm a writer and journalist by profession. I simply like to express myself in writing and this topic is just my way of contributing here after quite a long absence. So please don't assume that just because I have written this implies that I care about what happened or that I'm bothered by it. Thanks for understanding. It has nothing to do with thinking that an ex-girlfriend shouldn't be seen as attractive to others but what I'm trying to explain to you all is that as I said before, I really couldn't care less in this case. Thanks for understanding.
 
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