Lost In the Seas
Senior Don Juan
I have read many posts and topics about how it is impossible to get back with a girl whose IL has dropped down to 49% or below, is this always the rule, or there are exceptions around it?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
there is ABSOLUTELY NO hope??
- Thread starter Lost In the Seas
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
One way I have used many times is to distance myself for many months and then meeting her again. Actually used is a little wrong, I've bumped into them and went from there. With a little luck you will get a new chance to make a first impression and start over.
Lost In the Seas
Senior Don Juan
what about without a first impresions, i am talking about still have occasion contact with her once a week or so, but using other means to increase her interest level of you back to the past level, just wondering if this appraoch works too.
Qmanchoo
Don Juan
It's not so much that it's impossible, per say, I've found that the amount of effort required to "re-seduce" a girl is usually far greater than initial "seduction". However, it ALL depends on the TYPE of break you had...did you break it off, did she, was a good break or a bad one...for instance I broke off a relationship with a girl after 1 1/2 years because she was forced to move out of state with her parents. She still AIMs/Calls and if location permitted we'd be back together no "seduction" required really.
However, I've also been dumped for a number of reasons just like anyone else. In the end, increasing the interest level again is a combination of how you broke up (is it even possible), for what reasons (don’t make the same mistake twice), and making her realizing that she lost something special when you two broke off by re-inspiring her initial feelings for you (be it by her finding out your dating other people, or that you're making progress in your life, hear about what a fun person you are again, whatever)
However, the second time around is always harder than the first because she's used to your personality already and as a result you will be more predictable and her more prone to boredom. Easily solved but good to think about.
That's my 2 cents.
However, I've also been dumped for a number of reasons just like anyone else. In the end, increasing the interest level again is a combination of how you broke up (is it even possible), for what reasons (don’t make the same mistake twice), and making her realizing that she lost something special when you two broke off by re-inspiring her initial feelings for you (be it by her finding out your dating other people, or that you're making progress in your life, hear about what a fun person you are again, whatever)
However, the second time around is always harder than the first because she's used to your personality already and as a result you will be more predictable and her more prone to boredom. Easily solved but good to think about.
That's my 2 cents.
Lost In the Seas
Senior Don Juan
ya Qmachoo that makes loads of sense, thx for the great insight.
My situation is that:
know this girl through friend of a friend of mine, first we met as friends, then the chemistry started soon after and things got quite intense, i played as a challenge and mystery at the beginning without even knowing it, but then i failed soon after being an AFC, one day she just told me her feelings towards me is gone (we both confessed how much we liked eachother), now we are just friends, and still stay in contact with msn or occasionally phone, we sometimes go out with another friend of hers once a week to a mall or catch a movie
she still values me as a friend, but that's it, she's been very cold comparing to how she reacted to me at the beginning, she may still have feelings to me, but it's very gloomy as i estimated it to be just about 20-30%, and it's probably still dropping fast
im thinking about, whether cut off all contact with her until the summer, then contact her again to make things fresh and new, but then i may miss out the friends sleepover she may have in the summer, i plan to use it to arouse her interest again, not to mention hitting on another friends of her right in front of her to create jealousy
or, i can continue to have occasional contact with her, while changing myself positively into a better person (body trainning, reading, guitar, art etc), play things as the DJ and start things off slowly from this
which method should i use?
My situation is that:
know this girl through friend of a friend of mine, first we met as friends, then the chemistry started soon after and things got quite intense, i played as a challenge and mystery at the beginning without even knowing it, but then i failed soon after being an AFC, one day she just told me her feelings towards me is gone (we both confessed how much we liked eachother), now we are just friends, and still stay in contact with msn or occasionally phone, we sometimes go out with another friend of hers once a week to a mall or catch a movie
she still values me as a friend, but that's it, she's been very cold comparing to how she reacted to me at the beginning, she may still have feelings to me, but it's very gloomy as i estimated it to be just about 20-30%, and it's probably still dropping fast
im thinking about, whether cut off all contact with her until the summer, then contact her again to make things fresh and new, but then i may miss out the friends sleepover she may have in the summer, i plan to use it to arouse her interest again, not to mention hitting on another friends of her right in front of her to create jealousy
or, i can continue to have occasional contact with her, while changing myself positively into a better person (body trainning, reading, guitar, art etc), play things as the DJ and start things off slowly from this
which method should i use?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I always thought Doc Love's "percentage rule" was ridiculous. Think about it, how do you QUANTIFY someone's interest in you?
It gives him an easy out. If a girl shows little interest in you, but you eventually win her back, he'll say her interest level had not fallen past the critical point. If she doesn't come back, he'll say her interest level did fall past a critical point.
How do you prove him wrong? It's kind of stupid really. Doc gives some good advice, but he, nor any other human being can accurately depict your chances with a particular female.
It gives him an easy out. If a girl shows little interest in you, but you eventually win her back, he'll say her interest level had not fallen past the critical point. If she doesn't come back, he'll say her interest level did fall past a critical point.
How do you prove him wrong? It's kind of stupid really. Doc gives some good advice, but he, nor any other human being can accurately depict your chances with a particular female.
Lost In the Seas
Senior Don Juan
i still have no idea which method i should use to reapproach her
TACH
Don Juan
i'd say distance yourself for a couple months, let her come around to you, if she'll even do that... sometimes the harder you try to get what you want, the further from you it becomes, relax and have a life other than her.
why are you people just wasting so much time over one chick? i'm baffled with all the one-itis on the board lately.
why are you people just wasting so much time over one chick? i'm baffled with all the one-itis on the board lately.
jester1x
Senior Don Juan
I would recommend you go on with your life and make changes in it for your own benefit. To try and change who you are and what you are about to please and/or ingratiate yourself with someone is a mistake. Either she accepted you for who you are or she didn't really accept you at all. Maybe you didn't see all that was literally before you because you are so attached to her emotionally. Yes, feeling that way is great, but it's better to be with someone who respects it and can truly appreciate it.Originally posted by Lost In the Seas
ya Qmachoo that makes loads of sense, thx for the great insight.
My situation is that:
know this girl through friend of a friend of mine, first we met as friends, then the chemistry started soon after and things got quite intense, i played as a challenge and mystery at the beginning without even knowing it, but then i failed soon after being an AFC, one day she just told me her feelings towards me is gone (we both confessed how much we liked eachother), now we are just friends, and still stay in contact with msn or occasionally phone, we sometimes go out with another friend of hers once a week to a mall or catch a movie
she still values me as a friend, but that's it, she's been very cold comparing to how she reacted to me at the beginning, she may still have feelings to me, but it's very gloomy as i estimated it to be just about 20-30%, and it's probably still dropping fast
im thinking about, whether cut off all contact with her until the summer, then contact her again to make things fresh and new, but then i may miss out the friends sleepover she may have in the summer, i plan to use it to arouse her interest again, not to mention hitting on another friends of her right in front of her to create jealousy
or, i can continue to have occasional contact with her, while changing myself positively into a better person (body trainning, reading, guitar, art etc), play things as the DJ and start things off slowly from this
which method should i use?
She told you how she felt, so I would believe it, respect it (her feelings) and look elsewhere. Difficult...yes!
If you talk to other girls in front of her, do it because you are truly interested in a new woman. You just may find one more interesting than her and gives back exactly what you give to her.
I speak from experience...don't waste the time and the emotional energy. Me, I'm literally spent and don't feel like dealing much with women except in the social aspect. I need a break. Besides, it's easy to act aloof and like I don't care because I actually don't right now.
Best of luck to you though.