The year I met my soulmate

[corrector]

Ok, I'll tell you a story. We all probably have exes that we think of from time to time. I used to have one that I still used to think about a lot that I was dating when I lived in Taiwan, which was about 20 years ago. I went back there again recently and went back to some of the places I used to know, like the place I used to live and the place where I met this girl one night and we kissed for the first time.

So I was sitting in this park next to the lake, thinking that the last time I was there I was kissing this girl and I was totally in love with her. I was with her there the day before I left Taiwan and when I left I planned to be back within a few months. Now, 20 years later, I finally returned and this time I was alone and wondering what would have happened if I made different choices in life. Maybe we'd be together now, here or in some other part of the world, or maybe it wouldn't have worked out anyway. Who knows? I know that after I left she met someone else and they're married with children.

I listened to some music whilst I remembered her, felt sad for a while and then I left. And later I realised that the feeling of regret was gone. Somehow it helped me to go back there and remember and create a new memory of that place. Maybe embracing the pain can help you sometimes - you need to feel it fully and then let it go.

I did all that back in 2015 and 2016. Visited the island where we made out like 6 times and kayaked there too. Last visit was 2018.

 

[bat soup]

I did all that back in 2015 and 2016. Visited the island where we made out like 6 times and kayaked there too. Last visit was 2018.

I think that in some way the end of a relationship can be like a death. It's very similar in some ways - suddenly, you know that a person that you were once very close to will never be seen again. It makes sense then that having a kind of mental commemoration of the relationship can be helpful to get over the loss. Even though the fashionable thing is to tell ourselves that we'll just meet someone else and that they were never important.

 

[corrector]

I think that in some way the end of a relationship can be like a death. It's very similar in some ways - suddenly, you know that a person that you were once very close to will never be seen again. It makes sense then that having a kind of mental commemoration of the relationship can be helpful to get over the loss. Even though the fashionable thing is to tell ourselves that we'll just meet someone else and that they were never important.

I'm over that loss for a while. But I guess echoes of that year may still come through from time to time. Obviously the time BEFORE meeting her, before she existed or came into my life or became any memory, would be very important to since she's not in my system at all before ever meeting her.

 

[bat soup]

I'm over that loss for a while. But I guess echoes of that year may still come through from time to time. Obviously the time BEFORE meeting her, before she existed or came into my life or became any memory, would be very important to since she's not in my system at all before ever meeting her.

One thing that I've found helps is that in general:

a woman´s value = her level of cooperation

So any woman, no matter how beautiful or otherwise interesting she may be, has zero value to me if she´s not cooperating now. And if I ever start to think about someone from the past, I remind myself of that.

 

[corrector]

One thing that I've found helps is that in general:

a woman´s value = her level of cooperation

So any woman, no matter how beautiful or otherwise interesting she may be, has zero value to me if she´s not cooperating. And if I ever start to think about someone from the past, I remind myself of that.

Her cooperation was like around 100% which is why she really rocks. We were planning to marry each other and she was even waiting for me to come up with an engagement ring to make it official. I guess the way it developed or came together just seems too nice to forget. Maybe it had some really high moments. It just feels like a great life movie. However the way that thing ended didn't impact the memory of the relationship since I'd be going against my own conscience to continue seeing her. I guess I enjoyed the blissful ignorance about her before I found out the truth about her. When you know the truth, the truth sets you free, but the memory is still good.

 

[bat soup]

Her cooperation was like around 100% which is why she really rocks. We were planning to marry each other and she was even waiting for me to come up with an engagement ring to make it official. I guess the way it developed or came together just seems too nice to forget. Maybe it had some really high moments.

Her cooperation was like around 100%

Now it´s zero. Therefore her value now is zero.

 

[corrector]

Her cooperation was like around 100%

Now it´s zero. Therefore her value now is zero.

But I never talked about her now or made any reference I'm interested in getting back together with her. How do you make a value of a movie? When the movie was made or how good the content is? In analogy its like saying that a movie is not valuable unless it's currently being made and being released very soon or playing now. In my concept to that I'd say some older movies are great too. The hype of an old movie may be gone, but I might watch it again if I like it.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I suspect there’s a lot of denial within these responses.

Of course we all remember the past. This would also include past relationships, of course.

Personally speaking I would probably be miserably divorced, had I not had a good love in my life ... and had this as a reference.

As you’ve witnessed, Corrector, there’s a lot of groupthink within this forum. In addition, a lot of people are in denial about their own past situations. Keep this in mind when you see certain members flexing and defaulting to groupthink clichés.

 

[zekko]

As you’ve witnessed, Corrector, there’s a lot of groupthink within this forum. In addition, a lot of people are in denial about their own past situations. Keep this in mind when you see certain members flexing and defaulting to groupthink clichés.

I think the one negative about this forum, the one thing that bugged me from the beginning, was the groupthink clichés. Honestly, when I first came here it was much worse. Everything was very one size fits all. I could read a comment and know exactly what everybody was going to say. A lot of people say the forum has gone downhill, but I think it has gotten better because now you see a variety of opinions, whereas before it was like there was more of a dogma that people adhered to.

People had more faith in the PUA movement then. At that point, things were still in the "looks don't matter" era. In fact, it was against forum policy to even say looks mattered. Obviously this was pre-black pill. There has been a bit of a backlash against pure PUA theory since then, which I think was a positive thing because it injected a needed dose of realism into it.